XoAnGeL98OX Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 hey guys i've posted once before in past... Read alot but haven't in a long time..... anyways... Long story.... Gonna try to make it short as possible.. Ok so here goes i've been on and offf with this guy for about 6 years...Dated st8 bout 2 years we were very young and he broke up with me saying that he was young he wasn't ready to be settled down and cause he wanted to experince things with other poeple... ( we were each other's first)... anyways so tru the years i continued to sleep with him he would lie to me and tell me he wasn't with other poeple but of course i would always find out someway or another.... he always told me that he loved me that i was the girl for him... the women he wanted to marry but that he was young and still counldnt handle anything soo seroius.... after high school he moved away for school.... FSU.... 7 hours away... I finally happy thinking maybe i could finally get over this since he was going to be nowhere in sight... I ended up getting seroius with this other guy let's call him (BOB)....lasted bout a year...... he was great guy treated me like a princess but still i was soo in love with "My first".....my ex found out i was seroius with somone else flipped and kept callling saying how much he loved me and how could i be with somonelse.... i ended up cheating on (bob) everything "the first" was in town i felt horrible for it..... but i honeslty coudlnt risit... Finally me and bob ended things.... i cut contact with both of them for awhile.... but the first kept calling over and over again leaving me messages.. telling me he was sorry bout everything he done me to me to please pic up my phone... i tried to be strong.. i didn't answer.... He sent text messages..... everything u could think of to get me to talk to him... Finally after bout a month of NC... I gave in.....we spoke he promised to the world that he was finally ready to commit to me... that he wasn't afraid anymore.... that he didnt care that we lived 7 hours away from each other..... it was crazy he was finally telling me all the things i wanted to here for soo long....after him promising he would change think about things before he said them.. (he has a problem with cheacking out girls in front of me, saying very disrecptfull things like damn i wanna **** that girl) just stupid things he thinks is funny and me disrecptful.. anyways he promised he would work on this things because he really didnt want to lose me again.... so itook his word for it..... i ended up drving up 7 hours to spend the weekend with him this past weekend.. I thought we had a great time he introduced me to everyone as his girl friend... cooked for me....called me babe.... it was perfect.... I left tally thinking everything was great.... until today... he calls me saying he going to tampa for the weekend to go Pimp hoes with his friend.. that he had to go cause he had to tan so he can look cute for hoes... i got upset but didnt want to fight so i said i would call him later... i texted him with what happend to thinking before u spoke.??? r u trying to make me mad... he wrote back ima be myself and say what comes to mind if u don;t like it **** it tried of being somelse around u... I aint changin?????????? i called asking him i didnt understand what was going on.. I never asked him to not be himself... all i wanted was for him to respect me.... he later siad we didn't click anymore... he wasnt happy.... and that he could no longer be himself around me.... I was crushed... I'm miserable right now.... i dont understand what happend it's like he woke up this morning and turned back to the old him.. the guy who is soo afraid to be seroius with anybody.... he said maybe ur not the one for me maybe i need to find somone who can deal with me and my crazy self.. A girl that can take a joke and isn;t soo insecure.. what he doesn't understand is that i am the way i am with him was cause of everthing he had put me throu in the past i needed him to prove to me he really loved me and really meant what he had said... was i expecting to much??... i don't kno??? i'm soo confused.........
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 it tried of being somelse around u... I aint changin At this point, your best bet would be to just walk away from this. Go to 'no contact' and try to get your head and heart back together to get over him.
BLF04 Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 Paragraphs please. He obviously is not over you, but also does not want to commit to you. He wants to keep you on his chain. That's why he keeps contacting you every now and then. I don't know how old he is, but I'm 22 and he sounds very immature. I know what it's like to love someone and have them do this to you (to a certain degree). But I think you should step back and think, is this really what you want in someone?
Author XoAnGeL98OX Posted July 28, 2005 Author Posted July 28, 2005 Lucrezia Thanks for the reply...! i agree with u..... I ended up writting him an email telling him my goodbyes.... I think i sounded a little crazy but i had to get out everything i was feeling.. so damn rejected and confused....
Author XoAnGeL98OX Posted July 28, 2005 Author Posted July 28, 2005 can't help but wonder again if i pushed him away.. Or is he is simply a Commitment Phobic??....
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 At this point, would knowing make any difference? If he is a commitment phobe, and doesn't want to change then there is nothing that can be done. Given his overall tone with you, I don't know that it was a matter of you pushing him away, so much as it was trying to hold on to someone didn't really want to stay. Give yourself some uninterrupted and unbiased 'no contact' time on your own for a while, and hopefully you'll stop asking "did I push him away" and start realizing that he pushed you away. His loss.
totallyconfused Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 this guy sounds more than commitment phobe. he lies, cheats, betrays, uses, manipulates, and disrespects you in all aspects. basically abusing you emotionally, perhaps even physically. he sounds really terrible. worse than immature, a real jerkoff. he is being completely selfish and lacking any decency. he treats and talks so badly to and about women. this guy needs another 10 years of growing up. he sounds like hes going nowhere, so leave NOW so u dont go nowhere down that road with such a loser. i know i may sound rude saying all this, but from what u said, he sounds terrible, even worse than my ex. and my x was pretty bad, but only at the end. he sounds like he was a jerk from the start. LEAVE NOW and you'll realize what a LOSER he is, was, and will be in 6 months down the road. dont take shlt from this loser, go find yourself someone who will RESPECT and LOVE you.
Author XoAnGeL98OX Posted July 28, 2005 Author Posted July 28, 2005 I knoo.... It became a 6 year bad habit of hoping and wishing he was FINALLY goin to change.... everytime he got a little better n closer to being good.... and then he always freaks out n leaves and makes me feel like it's all my fault.... Blames it on my insecurity... doesn't he kno he is the one that made me this way????..I've done NC before... he always comes back begging saying sorry n he loves me... I have to be strong this time show him i really don't need him anymore.
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