Remystacks Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 Sooooo I'll try to make this as short as possible.. Was dating someone for almost a year two years ago.. Spent almost every moment together from the time we met. .we definitely fell for eachother Military guy so he was eventually posted three hours away, when he moved we both just stopped messaging each other.. we were both at hectic times in our lives so we just ghosted each other.. Now, he messaged me a few weeks ago.. we've met up. It's like nothing has changed we still have an amazing connection and vibe But a few days after he got back to his city he said he didn't want a relationship blah blah blah.. he also said that when we met the first time two years ago and a serious one developed... he does and says things that suggests he does want one.. he gets visibly uncomfortable and short when I mention other men, etc. I don't know much about his past relationship history but I know he was married before and his ex had issues with distance.. I don't understand why he came back and is acting like he cares about me so much if he doesn't want a relationship.. is he trying to keep me on pause till he's ready? Is he scared due to the distance and his previous history of it not working out.. P.S. I noticed in those hidden Facebook messages after our NC period he broke it.. even drove from his city to look for me. Went to my old work place I worked at while together, got his friend to try to message me.. I didn't see them due to the hidden folder :S I guess I just need to know if I should even bother getting my hopes up and thinking we could be something some day.. again
Life lessons Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 Personally, I think it's quite odd that you both suddenly ghosted one another because of a move. I would think that if it was a serious relationship that lasted a year or more, you two would have continued contact. That to me is a red flag. Also, if he states he doesn't want a relationship, take his word on that. If you're concerned about his intentions, then you need to have a talk with him. Ask him what it is that he wants from you. (A friends with benefits situation, etc.) From what you've said, my first thought is that he wants NSA sex. Good Luck! :-)
Author Remystacks Posted March 28, 2017 Author Posted March 28, 2017 Personally, I think it's quite odd that you both suddenly ghosted one another because of a move. I would think that if it was a serious relationship that lasted a year or more, you two would have continued contact. That to me is a red flag. Also, if he states he doesn't want a relationship, take his word on that. If you're concerned about his intentions, then you need to have a talk with him. Ask him what it is that he wants from you. (A friends with benefits situation, etc.) From what you've said, my first thought is that he wants NSA sex. Good Luck! :-) Yes at first I wasn't sure what the ghosting meant.. we've had quite a few discussions about it. We both were reading into our words too much.. he thought one thing, I thought the other.. and instead of actually talking to each other about it we just went silent.. we defiantly mutual so I won't hold that against him.. and yes, now that you've said that I guess that's what he's saying.. I don't think I'd be able to handle that.. fwb.. not after the past relationship we've had
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 Sooooo I'll try to make this as short as possible.. Was dating someone for almost a year two years ago.. Spent almost every moment together from the time we met. .we definitely fell for eachother Military guy so he was eventually posted three hours away, when he moved we both just stopped messaging each other.. we were both at hectic times in our lives so we just ghosted each other.. Now, he messaged me a few weeks ago.. we've met up. It's like nothing has changed we still have an amazing connection and vibe But a few days after he got back to his city he said he didn't want a relationship blah blah blah.. he also said that when we met the first time two years ago and a serious one developed... he does and says things that suggests he does want one.. he gets visibly uncomfortable and short when I mention other men, etc. I don't know much about his past relationship history but I know he was married before and his ex had issues with distance.. I don't understand why he came back and is acting like he cares about me so much if he doesn't want a relationship.. is he trying to keep me on pause till he's ready? Is he scared due to the distance and his previous history of it not working out.. P.S. I noticed in those hidden Facebook messages after our NC period he broke it.. even drove from his city to look for me. Went to my old work place I worked at while together, got his friend to try to message me.. I didn't see them due to the hidden folder :S I guess I just need to know if I should even bother getting my hopes up and thinking we could be something some day.. again you said blah blah blah but that's something to note. he told you he doesn't want a relationship. so if I were you I would believe what he says. so if you do want a relationship don't waste your time. date other people. if you don't mind being in a nonrelationship then go ahead and continue talking to him 1
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