JanuaryJones8686 Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 So I met a guy that seemed to be very interested in me. The first time we met we talked for hours then we met up a second time. He is lawyer who is also a boxer and was training for a big boxing match right before our date. He said that he's been training intensely for 4 hours a day and he seemed really obsessed with this match. The entire time, he seemed kind of distant and cold and his body language seemed like he wasn't interested. He told me that he had to leave the date early because he was feeling really sick and exhausted from his intense workouts and apologized. I was really confused because I couldn't tell if he was genuinely sick and tired from training or if he just wasn't interested. The part that confused me is that he remembers everything about me. And he remembered everything I said that I liked. And he obviously follows me daily on social media because he made lots of comments about things I did and said. He wasn't making eye contact the entire time on the date but when he left, he leaned in and kissed me. I wasn't expecting that since he seemed kind of distant and uninterested. He sent me a message the next day apologizing again saying his boxing match is in two days and his diet has been making him sick so he was really sorry for being so out of it and that he's been so focused on training for his fight. The only problem though is that the bad body language and poor eye contact made me feel like he wasn't attracted to me. Even though he has told me several times that I am very attractive. In fact he compliments me so much, more than most men but he was so strange in person. So does this sound like he's uninterested or was he just really exhausted from training for his boxing match or is he just nervous and awkward around me? I don't think I've ever dealt with something like this before lol
Tressugar Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 It sounds like to me that he's focused on his upcoming boxing match. Reassess after his match is done to see if there's a change in his demeanor.
preraph Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 He's concentrated on the boxing match. So forget about him until that is over. He'll be back around.
CloudyHead Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 He is focused on the boxing match. It's a compliment to you that he made time for you in light of the match.
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 Even if he were focused on something else, it seems to me he was giving tons of "I just want to get out of here" signals. He went in for the kiss (from the way you describe it) almost as a last-ditch "oh well, not interested but may as well go for a little physical anyway." It's all well and good to be focused on something but when you're interested in someone, the interest will in some way come through, IMO. I'm not seeing that here. I wouldn't worry about it, just keep dating and if he calls you, he calls you. Try not to worry or think about this particular guy too much. BTW, if it turns out he really does just overfocus like that, to the extent of making you feel absolutely unwanted and almost like a bother, you'll need to also consider that going into the future, this is what it will be, with each boxing match and, if it's a personality trait, potentially with other things instead. So there's that to consider. Don't just consider whether he wants you. Consider whether you would want him, too. Good luck.
Author JanuaryJones8686 Posted March 27, 2017 Author Posted March 27, 2017 Even if he were focused on something else, it seems to me he was giving tons of "I just want to get out of here" signals. He went in for the kiss (from the way you describe it) almost as a last-ditch "oh well, not interested but may as well go for a little physical anyway." It's all well and good to be focused on something but when you're interested in someone, the interest will in some way come through, IMO. I'm not seeing that here. I wouldn't worry about it, just keep dating and if he calls you, he calls you. Try not to worry or think about this particular guy too much. BTW, if it turns out he really does just overfocus like that, to the extent of making you feel absolutely unwanted and almost like a bother, you'll need to also consider that going into the future, this is what it will be, with each boxing match and, if it's a personality trait, potentially with other things instead. So there's that to consider. Don't just consider whether he wants you. Consider whether you would want him, too. Good luck. Thank you! I was into him because we had a lot in common, he's attractive and we always have great conversation. But nothing else about our interaction felt like genuine interest from him this time. The first time we hung out he seemed really interested. But this time his body language, eye contact...it was all a little shifty and awkward and he did seem kind of nervous about his upcoming fight. But he seems to be paying a whole lot of attention to me and what I do on social media. He is German (but has been here since he was 9 years old) and my friend says that Eastern Europeans come across cold sometimes but idk, just seems strange and I don't want to be that delusional girl giving a thousand excuses for classic "he's just not that into you" behavior. And the kiss felt like such a weird way to end it since it was on the lips. Probably best to just not contact him and see what happens after his big boxing match. I'll probably have my answer then...either way, I'll keep dating other people... such a bummer though, thought he had some real potential and he always seemed so excited about me over the phone
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