KBarletta Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 Is there any way you can add her back? If so, no foul, no harm done. I think this would be fine to solve the problem of this one stupid mistake. It solves the short-term issue of violating his trust by going onto his phone, but it doesn't solve the larger issue of not being secure in the relationship to allow him to have contact with other women that the OP considers a threat. 2
Author bluefairy812 Posted March 27, 2017 Author Posted March 27, 2017 I can - but I run the risk of her asking him "why did you remove me and add me back?" 1
Tressugar Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 I get that. But she's engaged, no? Also, remember that it takes two for something to happen. She can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do, and if he's smart and he loves you then he won't even put himself in a position to allow her to do anything that would jeopardize your relationship. Being friends on social media doesn't mean much of anything. I needed to read that, thx. 2
smackie9 Posted March 27, 2017 Posted March 27, 2017 Maybe I should clarify, I trust him. I just don't trust her.... Sorry but this is bull crap. If she made moves on him, you don't trust him to make the right decision to turn down her advances. If you trusted him, you would know he would be able would handle the situation without incident....right? Then there should be nothing to worry about. The reality is, you can't prevent things from happening, no matter what you do. It is what it is. You can't go around worrying what could or may happen...it's time to get that addressed by a therapist. 4
smackie9 Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 OP people who own it have a bigger chance of being forgiven, than those who try to bury it. If you BF finds out what you did without you telling him, will speak volumes to him that you are a deceitful person.
EmilyJane Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 To answer your question, no. I am not keeping him away from any woman. I simply do not like this girl or their history - the fact they hooked up and worked together until recently - the fact they speak every now and then - i don't like her or any contact - I feel like there shouldn't be contact because shes engaged and he's with me - why even bother keeping each other on social media? she's an attention seeker and I feel like she still wants him. I feel like he'll always have something for her. She basically hooked up with him in the middle of her breakup with her now Fiance. I don't know... I could be wrong but it's just what I feel. Ohhh hang on. It's just this woman. Trust your instincts. You might well be picking up on something on her part. And I honestly don't think that excuses your behaviour at all - that was a total violation. And I reckon you would benefit from therapy immensely. But that doesn't actually mean you are wrong. It is weird that the still speak after she's f*cked him in the middle of a relationship break that she's gone back to. But here's the thing. You drawing attention to it and having done this stupid thing is giving her way more power than you need to. Plus if this guy is following a bunch of chicks on IG and chatting to ex roots - I would be feeling pretty devalued too. You don't actually have to put up with that crap just to be loved. It doesn't speak very highly of his values to me.
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