Author Popsicle Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 See, with long distance, the problem is in the beginning and trying to get to know each other (in person!), not after you've already established your relationship. Well, that's not entirely true. The other big problem comes up when it's time to close the distance. You get past the beginning and spend all this time weekend dating or just talking if you're further away and then after all that, the close of distance just can't be executed.
coolheadal Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Yesterday I was in traffic for 2 hrs and when I got to the girls house she acted like she didn't want to go out. I wasn't having that excuse. I can tell you it wasn't a good night for me. I did something I wouldn't do but I couldn't show weakness. Usually takes me 1 hr to do 60 miles in traveling one way. But to me is she worth it? Is she happy to see me? Do I get hug and kiss? 1
Author Popsicle Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 Yesterday I was in traffic for 2 hrs and when I got to the girls house she acted like she didn't want to go out. I wasn't having that excuse. I can tell you it wasn't a good night for me. I did something I wouldn't do but I couldn't show weakness. Usually takes me 1 hr to do 60 miles in traveling one way. But to me is she worth it? Is she happy to see me? Do I get hug and kiss? Oh no, I toooootally get that. A lesson I had to learn in my youth - that men need to be appreciated! I wouldn't make any man drive who I wasn't excited about seeing anyway. I am very careful with not wasting anyone's time. I just question if that's all it takes? Won't he get tired of driving after a while even if she's always excited to see him? Won't he start asking her to drive to him sometime?
coolheadal Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Oh no, I toooootally get that. A lesson I had to learn in my youth - that men need to be appreciated! I wouldn't make any man drive who I wasn't excited about seeing anyway. I am very careful with not wasting anyone's time. I just question if that's all it takes? Won't he get tired of driving after a while even if she's always excited to see him? Won't he start asking her to drive to him sometime? Funny she wanted me to help move something out of storage for her. I did then we were suppose to go out for dinner and movie. She told me she was tired. I said what! It was excuse trust me. She didn't want to drive her car actually her plan was to use my SUV. Well I told her park your car we'll use my SUV and I'll drive. Just direct me where I have to drive. So all that gone down well. Where we ate I had to stick on stools I don't like them but some how I got up and stool flew to the other side of the room at another woman chair I said whoops. After that we both gone to the movies. But the GF was acting odd with me all night? No hugs, no kiss if I touch her she said she didn't like that. I mean really.. In the movie I usually life up the arms and turn two seats into a love sofa. She didn't like that I did that. After all that when the movie started I wasn't happy!.. After than something else happen.. 1
Author Popsicle Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 Funny she wanted me to help move something out of storage for her. I did then we were suppose to go out for dinner and movie. She told me she was tired. I said what! It was excuse trust me. She didn't want to drive her car actually her plan was to use my SUV. Well I told her park your car we'll use my SUV and I'll drive. Just direct me where I have to drive. So all that gone down well. Where we ate I had to stick on stools I don't like them but some how I got up and stool flew to the other side of the room at another woman chair I said whoops. After that we both gone to the movies. But the GF was acting odd with me all night? No hugs, no kiss if I touch her she said she didn't like that. I mean really.. In the movie I usually life up the arms and turn two seats into a love sofa. She didn't like that I did that. After all that when the movie started I wasn't happy!.. After than something else happen.. Oh boy, sounds like an awkward time. I had one like that with my last bf. We were at a casino and he got excited talking to someone and hit his own hand and dropped his glass beer on the floor and it shattered everywhere and a few people had to scatter to not get hit with it. At first I was annoyed with him (was he going to do this all the time?) but I realized that he was embarrassed and playing it cool so I needed to just let it go and go on like normal. We got past that but it took a day or two. Just saying.
coolheadal Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Oh boy, sounds like an awkward time. I had one like that with my last bf. We were at a casino and he got excited talking to someone and hit his own hand and dropped his glass beer on the floor and it shattered everywhere and a few people had to scatter to not get hit with it. At first I was annoyed with him (was he going to do this all the time?) but I realized that he was embarrassed and playing it cool so I needed to just let it go and go on like normal. We got past that but it took a day or two. Just saying. Wow! Mine started with uncalled for comments at me and I didn't like it. I did something with my hands and she stood up and move one chair away from me. I had enough of this. The comment wasn't cool one to make. I had stood-up and walk right out of the theater then I started to get shaky. Like I couldn't walk and didn't know where I had parked my vehicle. I didn't want to leave her behind but the comments was rude! Quick shots below the belt no need to play that game with me. I am not going to make a seen in a dark theater. I do not like her behavior all evening I know it was 10 pm but still no need for it.
Author Popsicle Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 Wow! Mine started with uncalled for comments at me and I didn't like it. I did something with my hands and she stood up and move one chair away from me. I had enough of this. The comment wasn't cool one to make. I had stood-up and walk right out of the theater then I started to get shaky. Like I couldn't walk and didn't know where I had parked my vehicle. I didn't want to leave her behind but the comments was rude! Quick shots below the belt no need to play that game with me. I am not going to make a seen in a dark theater. I do not like her behavior all evening I know it was 10 pm but still no need for it. Yeah I didn't say anything to my bf when that happened, although it was obvious that we both felt awkward (it was a vibe in the air). Your girl shouldn't have said anything to you and just tried let it go. I suggest you both try to do that now. If she still likes you, she will.
coolheadal Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Yeah I didn't say anything to my bf when that happened, although it was obvious that we both felt awkward (it was a vibe in the air). Your girl shouldn't have said anything to you and just tried let it go. I suggest you both try to do that now. If she still likes you, she will. This was the first time in the theater like this with her. I not giving into her comments. Plus I had seen she called my cell, I tried to call but she didn't pickup. I had turn my SUV in 180 and drove back to where I found her outside wondering. I told her get into the SUV, she said no, I said again get into the SUV she said no she called a Taxi. I had said fine then. And drove off. I drove home all the way in the left lane.. Over 60 miles.. She done this to me before twice but this time I did it to her. Today was quiet no word from her. I at peace. She's suppose to move out of her aunts house into her apartment with my help again. I doubt she'll be the one to say sorry. Your right I know she likes me she came back to me 3 months after the first break-up. Now this is odd one at best what was she thinking? She know me why would she act like that though. But again that's her. Her past is not that great. I tolerate so much more than others. I sent her a text and said you blew-it you got walking out like that. If she loves me she would make it better.. I not calling her.. I didn't cause this to happen. She did.. Thanks for listening.. I like you we all give advise sometimes it hits home too.. 1
OatsAndHall Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Yep, you bring up another issue. I was just speaking with my friend last night who is dating someone who lives 2.5-3 hours away. They have been just talking for a while. He came to her last night to have a dinner date and after dinner ended, she thanked him for the nice time and said good night. He then had to drive home. A few minutes after he left he sent her a text saying that it was so nice to see her and that was hoping for an invite after dinner but that he respected her decision. See, with long distance, the problem is in the beginning and trying to get to know each other (in person!), not after you've already established your relationship. The distance can suck but you can certainly gauge a person's intentions based on how they react to it. The stalker I have described in other posts lived an hour away but she worked in the town I lived in. We went out for dinner on the weekends for the first couple of weeks but I didn't see her on the weeknights. I got a bad vibe from her when she started asking for dates on those weeknights as she had two daughters at home. She would leave them with her mother and we had a few coffee dates after she got off of work and that really concerned me. I called it off with her when I found out she was hanging around town afterwards and hitting the bars with her work friends. That's when everything hit the fan. 1
Author Popsicle Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 So this guy and I have been talking a lot in the last week. We officially have a date this coming weekend. I am so looking forward to it. So far he has been almost too good to be true. He says all the right things and we seem so compatible. He also claims to not mind driving and eagerly volunteers to do it all. I hope we are attracted to each other in person.
Author Popsicle Posted April 17, 2017 Author Posted April 17, 2017 So it looks like there is not going to be a "love connection" with this guy I was talking to. Perhaps we will remain friends but I'll leave that up to him. So it's back to the drawing board again! 1
Author Popsicle Posted April 17, 2017 Author Posted April 17, 2017 What happened? Just no chemistry in person? Yeah, it's a shame. I didn't feel the attraction to him that I had hoped to feel. The date went well though. Now I just have to tell him somehow. He does already know, however, that I had a big problem with the distance, so maybe I will blame it all on that. 1
Author Popsicle Posted April 20, 2017 Author Posted April 20, 2017 Well, I managed to tell the guy that I wasn't interested in dating him. At first he didn't take it well but now he says he wants to be just friends. Should I believe this?
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 No.. he will always want to bang you... you can't be only friends with a guy that wants to separate you from your panties. 2
Author Popsicle Posted April 20, 2017 Author Posted April 20, 2017 No.. he will always want to bang you... you can't be only friends with a guy that wants to separate you from your panties. I know, right? I told him that I will be seeing other people still. He still texted me as "Your friend". lol 1
Miss Spider Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 I wouldn't be friends with a guy I went on one date with and there was no attraction on my end. Sounds like an invitation to awkward. Maybe if there was a strong click personality-wise and no attraction otherwise on either end. But nahhh. He's probably thinks the friendship might ~blossom into more~. 1
Author Popsicle Posted April 20, 2017 Author Posted April 20, 2017 I wouldn't be friends with a guy I went on one date with and there was no attraction on my end. Sounds like an invitation to awkward. Maybe if there was a strong click personality-wise and no attraction otherwise on either end. But nahhh. He's probably thinks the friendship might ~blossom into more~. He claims he has a female BFF (which I find weird, but that's another story...), so maybe he really does think he likes being friends with women. 1
Miss Spider Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 He claims he has a female BFF (which I find weird, but that's another story...), so maybe he really does think he likes being friends with women. It is weird to me too. =S my ex had a close female friend but she was a lesbian lol. I think male and females can be friends but not so much with ones they've been on dates with and got rejected by. But who knows...maybe. 1
Author Popsicle Posted April 20, 2017 Author Posted April 20, 2017 It is weird to me too. =S my ex had a close female friend but she was a lesbian lol. I think male and females can be friends but not so much with ones they've been on dates with and got rejected by. But who knows...maybe. I tend to agree. I guess we shall see. 1
OatsAndHall Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Well, I managed to tell the guy that I wasn't interested in dating him. At first he didn't take it well but now he says he wants to be just friends. Should I believe this? You're a virtual stranger for the guy, in all reality. So, no, I wouldn't keep in contact with him. He could be a nice guy that does want a platonic friendship. But, you two are acquaintances at this point and nothing more. Friendship takes time and effort to develop and it doesn't happen after one OLD date. He could also either be trying to regain some self-esteem from being rejected or is still lingering on. I'd stay away, one way or another. You'll just end up with a texting pen-pal that will probably push it further and want to meet, "just as friends". 1
Miss Spider Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 You're a virtual stranger for the guy, in all reality. So, no, I wouldn't keep in contact with him. He could be a nice guy that does want a platonic friendship. But, you two are acquaintances at this point and nothing more. Friendship takes time and effort to develop and it doesn't happen after one OLD date. He could also either be trying to regain some self-esteem from being rejected or is still lingering on. I'd stay away, one way or another. You'll just end up with a texting pen-pal that will probably push it further and want to meet, "just as friends". Oatsandhall, you are a guy so I was wondering your perspective on this. If you had a few dates with a girl and had no interest in her romantically, and she wanted to be friends still, what would you say and why? 1
OatsAndHall Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 Oatsandhall, you are a guy so I was wondering your perspective on this. If you had a few dates with a girl and had no interest in her romantically, and she wanted to be friends still, what would you say and why? I was actually pretty good friends with the first woman I met via OLD. We went out a few times and had good conversations but there was just no way we could be a couple. We just have different hobbies and lifestyle.s We would have driven each other insane if we kept on dating. This was pretty apparent to the both of us but we did work out as friends. We only talk once in a blue moon but she's a sweet woman. But, this was a rare situation for me. I would say that the lack of attraction would have to be mutual and based on simple incompatibilities. I generally lose attraction to women that I find to be high-maintenance or insecure and that probably wouldn't work in a friendship for me. 2
CptInsano Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 I am/was actually somewhat physically attracted to most of my platonic friends. I mean, it only makes sense. I liked them, or they wouldn't be my friend, and they weren't ugly. But that doesn't mean that we would be compatible romantically. Other friends are married, and the husbands are usually nice guys, and would take it as a compliment if I told them their wife was hot. 1
Spring23 Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 He claims he has a female BFF (which I find weird, but that's another story...), so maybe he really does think he likes being friends with women. I don't think he wants to be your friend Popsicle. He wants to hang out with you, have some wine, hope you lower your standards and fool around with him. That's what guys mean when they say they "want to be your friend." 1
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