Exploring the online dating site

[Chilli]

Sorry , bit of a chuckle here.

Been on it a wk and l stilllllll haven't met the man l wanna marry.

Sh@t , wish that was all it took.

 

l dunno , no expert but l did have my wittle 6mth run bf gf now.

l am fascinated with that crazy world though l must admit. so 2020s isn't it.

 

l was on a couple but pof had the best lookers by far , discovered half of them were fakes though, probably all the good lookin girls.

So l dunno about that one.

 

then l went onto oasis bc pof just went no where and people disappeared like flies.

l thought oasis was pretty good actually for a free site but a whole mix of people and plenty of morons too.

The lookers were pretty rare .

Talked to dozens but only met up with a couple.

They were nice, sane and everything, but not my thing.

 

There was one l was really exited about but she was pretty bizarre and l think l got the big A.

Weird thing was though "she" , rang me.

She ,talked about how alike we were . She , talked about meeting. She , disappears !

Never to be seen or heard of again.

And ah yeah , she was always busy too , she said

 

Weird old world on those sites.

Wonder what the success rate is and then even if some marriages what the divorce rate is.

[Popsicle]

Sorry , bit of a chuckle here.

Been on it a wk and l stilllllll haven't met the man l wanna marry.

Sh@t , wish that was all it took.

 

l dunno , no expert but l did have my wittle 6mth run bf gf now.

l am fascinated with that crazy world though l must admit. so 2020s isn't it.

 

l was on a couple but pof had the best lookers by far , discovered half of them were fakes though, probably all the good lookin girls.

So l dunno about that one.

 

then l went onto oasis bc pof just went no where and people disappeared like flies.

l thought oasis was pretty good actually for a free site but a whole mix of people and plenty of morons too.

The lookers were pretty rare .

Talked to dozens but only met up with a couple.

They were nice, sane and everything, but not my thing.

 

There was one l was really exited about but she was pretty bizarre and l think l got the big A.

Weird thing was though "she" , rang me.

She ,talked about how alike we were . She , talked about meeting. She , disappears !

Never to be seen or heard of again.

And ah yeah , she was always busy too , she said

 

Weird old world on those sites.

Wonder what the success rate is and then even if some marriages what the divorce rate is.

 

Hi Chili. I'm glad to see you talking about this. I think you should get back on the site.

 

As for me, I didn't say I was getting off the site, I don't feel in a rush to find someone, but I'm also not putting a lot of hope in it.

[Zahara]

Really? Of all the attributes you find important small feet is on the list? I'm 5'5.5 and I don't have small feet.

 

A little over 5'8" and small feet!

[bluefeather]

Sigh. I just don't think I can do it.

Maybe it's just not the right time for me to date.

 

Hey, no problem! Don't sweat it.. love is supposed to be fun

 

Ok, here's a story. So we met up recently, and had an absolute blast. Ended up sleeping together and that too was a blast ;D We clicked on a lot of levels and the next day, thanked each other for a great time. No pressure from either of us, and maybe we'll meet up again. We'll still keep in contact and see if anything else happens, but it's not like a super serious "omg how will this ever work?!" type of situation. Do what you feel comfortable with when you're ready to. But the distance didn't stop us from having a great time, and we'll see what happens after that, just as any other date.

[Popsicle]

Hey, no problem! Don't sweat it.. love is supposed to be fun

 

Ok, here's a story. So we met up recently, and had an absolute blast. Ended up sleeping together and that too was a blast ;D We clicked on a lot of levels and the next day, thanked each other for a great time. No pressure from either of us, and maybe we'll meet up again. We'll still keep in contact and see if anything else happens, but it's not like a super serious "omg how will this ever work?!" type of situation. Do what you feel comfortable with when you're ready to. But the distance didn't stop us from having a great time, and we'll see what happens after that, just as any other date.

 

I'm not capable of being that casual.

[bluefeather]

I'm not capable of being that casual.

 

I've gone the serious route too, and it is possible. Might take a little more work, though, since you both probably have to be a lot more involved with eachother.

[Usename12]

Sigh. I just don't think I can do it.

Maybe it's just not the right time for me to date.

If you haven't been in a relationship where the guy is 2+ hours away, and you've tapped out of all the guys in your area, why don't you try it and see if that's workable? You imagine how hard it would be but you won't know until you live it. Everyone will figure out their tolerances. You might find there are other ways to communicate when you're not near each other and you can either decide it's not what you want or something you can live with. I've done it and while it didn't last, it wasn't because of the distance for me and unless she was lying, neither for her.

[Popsicle]

I've been in a LDR before. It doesn't work for me.

[Jj66]

I'm an hour and ten minutes from my girlfriend and that was definitely a source of dissatisfaction on my part as we started becoming closer. Two hours would have made it DOA.

[CryForNoOne]

Speaking of this, I am completely baffled as to why so many men are open to this.

Why do so many of them not even blink an eye at the distance? Why is this not a problem to them?

 

I think this is because OLD can be confidence destroying to guys who aren't used to rejection. IRL 1 out of 10 men has the confidence to approach women. With OLD, 10 out of 10 men can message a woman. So women get bombarded and often don't even read messages from guys they might actually go out with IRL. The crickets is taken as rejection and the guys get desperate after a while. So eventually they're willing to drive 2 hours just to meet a girl who gives them the time of day...

 

I personally think that entering an LDR from the start is insane. I'd never go more than 1 hour to meet someone, which sadly means 10 miles in LA...

[Chilli]

I kinda share your same view. In my opinion the real get to know you starts with actually meeting the person, going on dates, spending time etc. which is why I don't waste time on men who want gab my life away online or on the phone without meeting me. Ain't catfishing me no sir. The only reason I require a bit of convo in messages and then phone before just straight blind date is for safety purposes and if I can weed out an arse hat before wasting a date on him I say it behooves me to have some sort of gradual communication process in place. But yea the true learning about each other comes with meeting for sure. Especially when it comes to value comparability.

 

l was the opposite.

Living in a pretty rural area for a start there was a drive and time involved but l also just hated that " oh noooooo " feeling as soon as l saw them , hate that. You know straight away there was zero and ya just wanna get outa there.

l use to think fk me , they wanna go to all the trouble and maybe that "oh noooo" feeling ,grab coffee when we have no clue yet.

It amazed me how many wanted to waste time and energy meeting up yet few emails and you weed out the crap- lot easier l thought.

[Chilli]

Hi Chili. I'm glad to see you talking about this. I think you should get back on the site.

 

As for me, I didn't say I was getting off the site, I don't feel in a rush to find someone, but I'm also not putting a lot of hope in it.

 

 

Hey pop.

Nah, been seeing someone 13mths now.

That was 18mths or so ago.on that site.

 

Although we broke up a few mths back for a few wks and l did just poke my head in the door of the old date site- wasn't ready though of course, just being stupid.

We got back together a wk later anyway, knew we would.

[Chilli]

I really need help with this. Seriously. I've got another guy like this who I've exchanged a couple of messages with and he's kinda dreamy.

 

But he lives so far! Like 1.5-2 hours away (ugh!) and seeing each other on weekdays would be out of the question.

 

Well , a lot of us do love driving, and l do too when l have the time.

One of the girls lived up the coast 2hours , gorgeous drive , shame it never went anywhere l loved the idea of us scooting up and down the coast to each others place.

She was a great girl to , real rare one, just wasn't attracted to her.

[Popsicle]

Well , a lot of us do love driving, and l do too when l have the time.

One of the girls lived up the coast 2hours , gorgeous drive , shame it never went anywhere l loved the idea of us scooting up and down the coast to each others place.

She was a great girl to , real rare one, just wasn't attracted to her.

 

I don't love driving so it would be totally one sided if it happened. I doubt anyone wants to deal with that.

[Chilli]

Yeah actually that might explain a few things with this one l did meet-an dreally really liked. We only chatted and phoned but she sounded really keen and asked to meet yet she disappeared.

She was 2hours away too.

Maybe that's what happened to her,turn off.

[Popsicle]

Yeah actually that might explain a few things with this one l did meet-an dreally really liked. We only chatted and phoned but she sounded really keen and asked to meet yet she disappeared.

She was 2hours away too.

Maybe that's what happened to her,turn off.

 

I really think so.

[Popsicle]

I'm talking to a guy now who I like a lot. He says he's more than willing to do all the driving but I find that hard to believe. Like, really? Is that possible? A guy will do all the driving and come to you? I feel like he doesn't know what he's saying.

[CptInsano]

I'm talking to a guy now who I like a lot. He says he's more than willing to do all the driving but I find that hard to believe. Like, really? Is that possible? A guy will do all the driving and come to you? I feel like he doesn't know what he's saying.

 

I think he knows what he is saying. He is saying that he will do the driving as long as the relationship is fresh. 2 hours of driving may turn this into weekend relationship, which may be something that he actually wants.

[Popsicle]

I think he knows what he is saying. He is saying that he will do the driving as long as the relationship is fresh. 2 hours of driving may turn this into weekend relationship, which may be something that he actually wants.

 

It'll have to be a weekend relationship, of course I know that. I just can't see how he'd even want to keep doing that (the driving) after a couple of months of it. I think the excitement of the newness is making him THINK that he can do something that he won't want to do later on once the newness fades.

 

He says he likes driving. Seriously? lol

I just think both men and women say things they like that they really don't just to get in with someone. Even I've done this in my youth before I learned that was a mistake to do.

[OatsAndHall]

I'm talking to a guy now who I like a lot. He says he's more than willing to do all the driving but I find that hard to believe. Like, really? Is that possible? A guy will do all the driving and come to you? I feel like he doesn't know what he's saying.

 

You'll figure out if he's serious about this after a few weeks of driving a total of four+ hours for a two-three hour date. The guy shouldn't have any higher expectations for the dates because he is driving so far. It makes practical sense for him to try and plan day-long dates because he's driving but he's making the choice to date someone long distance and do all of the driving. I would treat this as if you were dating a guy fifteen minutes away. A few weeks of nice, slow "getting to know you' coffee and dinner dates that only last a few hours.

[Popsicle]

You'll figure out if he's serious about this after a few weeks of driving a total of four+ hours for a two-three hour date. The guy shouldn't have any higher expectations for the dates because he is driving so far. It makes practical sense for him to try and plan day-long dates because he's driving but he's making the choice to date someone long distance and do all of the driving. I would treat this as if you were dating a guy fifteen minutes away. A few weeks of nice, slow "getting to know you' coffee and dinner dates that only last a few hours.

 

 

 

So true. I will figure it out after a few weeks of him driving. I will treat it like he lives 15 mins away. That is really great advice. Thanks.

Edited April 9, 2017 by Popsicle

[Popsicle]

Actually our first date we are meeting somewhere that is 45 mins in another direction from the both of us. We were talking about this place and I wanted to try it out and it was my idea that we go there next weekend. That was probably a bad idea for me to do that on the first date nonetheless since I'm not willing to do a lot of driving constantly. I just wanted to go to this new place. I'm going to have to either change that date location or reiterate to him that I'm not interested in doing driving.

 

Damn, I messed up.

[OatsAndHall]

So true. I will figure it out after a few weeks of him driving. I will treat it like he lives 15 mins away. That is really great advice. Thanks.

 

You're welcome. I met a woman via OLD last fall that lived an hour and half away. We both talked about spending entire days together because of the drive and we had one really fun date. But, it didn't work out and I realized afterward that it could have gone to some uncomfortable places if we continued as we planned. In fact, it almost went to one of those places on the first date. Plans had been changed on the fly and I ended up making the drive much later in the day than I thought. I didn't want to drive back home at 9pm (there's deer EVERYWHERE on the highways in this area) so I got a hotel room for practical purposes. I explained to her that I got the hotel room because of that issue and there was nothing more to it than that. We almost ended up back in my hotel room two hours into the date. One long necking session into the car almost turned into what would have been a one night stand. No thanks.

[Popsicle]

You're welcome. I met a woman via OLD last fall that lived an hour and half away. We both talked about spending entire days together because of the drive and we had one really fun date. But, it didn't work out and I realized afterward that it could have gone to some uncomfortable places if we continued as we planned. In fact, it almost went to one of those places on the first date. Plans had been changed on the fly and I ended up making the drive much later in the day than I thought. I didn't want to drive back home at 9pm (there's deer EVERYWHERE on the highways in this area) so I got a hotel room for practical purposes. I explained to her that I got the hotel room because of that issue and there was nothing more to it than that. We almost ended up back in my hotel room two hours into the date. One long necking session into the car almost turned into what would have been a one night stand. No thanks.

 

Yep, you bring up another issue.

 

I was just speaking with my friend last night who is dating someone who lives 2.5-3 hours away. They have been just talking for a while. He came to her last night to have a dinner date and after dinner ended, she thanked him for the nice time and said good night. He then had to drive home. A few minutes after he left he sent her a text saying that it was so nice to see her and that was hoping for an invite after dinner but that he respected her decision.

 

See, with long distance, the problem is in the beginning and trying to get to know each other (in person!), not after you've already established your relationship.

[Popsicle]

I decided that I'm NOT going to change the date location. However way this pans out is how it pans out, but I will just be ready for him to change his mind, or fade once he realizes the difficulty.