Exploring the online dating site

March 29, 2017

I do think a lot of women use OLD in a totally stupid way. For one thing, I'm pretty certain that no woman I've ever had a relationship with would ever have responded to me on a dating app. Really, if I were a woman I'd ignore photos and just read the profile. If their blurb and interests really grab you THEN check the photos. If they look OK to you or better then chat...people hardly ever resemble their photos anyway.

You have an interesting point and experience, which is a little sad if you get looked over -- anyone gets looked over. For me, the profile has to have some relate-ability, and I do look at the pictures, and some texting to put out the feelers always helps, but I don't put full stock in the profile or pictures because I really think there is a lot to be said about meeting in person. There are limits to the online dating communication/profiles, and it's the meet 'n greet that puts out the zingers, both good and bad. You just don't know until you actually meet the person, and the profile is a good place to start as far as common interests/personality, but it really shouldn't be the end-all, be-all. While I haven't met "the one," I have certainly had some good experiences, just for going out and meeting them.

March 29, 2017

My gf was 46 miles away. My search limit.was 15 miles. I almost rejected her for being too far away. Im glad I didn't.

March 29, 2017

I think 50 miles/ 1 hour absolute MAX too..and that only if it was a GREAT person. I tried 2 hours once and even though I really liked the person...it burned out fast. Was so exhausting, hard to maintain, lonely. Never again. Everyone's different, though. Some people handle distance better than others.

March 29, 2017

I think 50 miles/ 1 hour absolute MAX too..and that only if it was a GREAT person. I tried 2 hours once and even though I really liked the person...it burned out fast. Was so exhausting, hard to maintain, lonely. Never again. Everyone's different, though. Some people handle distance better than others.

Surprisingly, there's this couple that live in separate states, they've been together for years, with NO intentions of moving closer to either of each other. Not sure how she can handle that, but I live closer so I have my fingers crossed if she should ever call it off with him due to distance. lol

March 29, 2017

And I message men first too.

You're in the minority, most women don't have to do this. Since you are messaging first though, have you scored some dates in person with them?

I already plan to relocate but that won't be for at least a year and a half. Might as well see what's going on here until then.

You looking for someone to roll into town within the next year and a half that could keep your roots firmly planted in that town?

It'll probably take a guy new in town

March 29, 2017

Is relocation an option or something that is absolutely going to happen Pops?

If it's an option well then, I could see both looking locally, and where you are headed (honestly a year and a half isn't that long in the grand scheme of things).

If you are absolutely going to relocate - are you looking for a local short term thing? Seems a bit tricky.

Yes I am leaving this place. There is notning here for me. I am moving to a bigger city but I haven't decided which one yet. Probably LA to be closer to my aging mother. It depends on where I get a job though.

And yes I know it's tricky but I don't care. I will be honest.

My gf was 46 miles away. My search limit.was 15 miles. I almost rejected her for being too far away. Im glad I didn't.

So I take it you both work full time and only see each other on weekends? Don't you get tired of the commute?

I think 50 miles/ 1 hour absolute MAX too..and that only if it was a GREAT person. I tried 2 hours once and even though I really liked the person...it burned out fast. Was so exhausting, hard to maintain, lonely. Never again. Everyone's different, though. Some people handle distance better than others.

Seriously. You get it. Someone would have to blow my mind so hard (and immediately) for me to travel to them. I'm just not feeling that way for anyone yet.

Surprisingly, there's this couple that live in separate states, they've been together for years, with NO intentions of moving closer to either of each other. Not sure how she can handle that, but I live closer so I have my fingers crossed if she should ever call it off with him due to distance. lol

Ahh so you're an orbiter of all these female "friends" you have!

March 29, 2017

You're in the minority, most women don't have to do this. Since you are messaging first though, have you scored some dates in person with them?

I already plan to relocate but that won't be for at least a year and a half. Might as well see what's going on here until then.

You looking for someone to roll into town within the next year and a half that could keep your roots firmly planted in that town?

It'll probably take a guy new in town

True women get so many messages that they don't even have time to browse.

March 29, 2017

Yes I am leaving this place. There is notning here for me. I am moving to a bigger city but I haven't decided which one yet. Probably LA to be closer to my aging mother. It depends on where I get a job though.

And yes I know it's tricky but I don't care. I will be honest.

So I take it you both work full time and only see each other on weekends? Don't you get tired of the commute?

Seriously. You get it. Someone would have to blow my mind so hard (and immediately) for me to travel to them. I'm just not feeling that way for anyone yet.

Ahh so you're an orbiter of all these female "friends" you have!

Nah, just that one. lol

March 29, 2017

You looking for someone to roll into town within the next year and a half that could keep your roots firmly planted in that town?

I wouldn't object to that.

And guys message me first too.

March 29, 2017

Nah, just that one. lol

Well good luck!

March 29, 2017

Since there is a finite amount of single women showing up in my area on POF, I would come full circle and start sending follow-up emails after so long. You reach a point where you might as well, because that's the only thing left to do at this point.

March 29, 2017

I do think a lot of women use OLD in a totally stupid way. For one thing, I'm pretty certain that no woman I've ever had a relationship with would ever have responded to me on a dating app. Really, if I were a woman I'd ignore photos and just read the profile. If their blurb and interests really grab you THEN check the photos. If they look OK to you or better then chat...people hardly ever resemble their photos anyway.

I personally don't care about the profile as much. I do care about the level of conversation via messaging. I do have a few criteria before I would even respond to a message that until further notice I am not compromising on. He has to be within 45 miles, he has to be tall as me or taller (im 5'11" which is unfortunate. I personally wish I was shorter so I can give shorter guys a chance. but I just don't feel sexy if I have to bend down to kiss you. stupid I know), he cant be in a relationship, separated, or married, and no prison background. so that's my only thing. even if he doesn't look appealing right off the bat if he fits the criteria I will respond. im trying to not be as shallow lol. so assuming he fits the criteria and is in my inbox I base my judgement on whether I want to eventually give this guy my number based off how I feel about our conversation online. then I base my judgement on whether I want to go on a date with this guy based off our conversation via the phone. profiles don't matter all that much to me unless he doesn't fit me criteria cause I have seen fantastic profiles and the convo/date wasn't as fantastic and I have seen blah profiles and they turned out to be decent men.

March 29, 2017

I do think a lot of women use OLD in a totally stupid way. For one thing, I'm pretty certain that no woman I've ever had a relationship with would ever have responded to me on a dating app. Really, if I were a woman I'd ignore photos and just read the profile. If their blurb and interests really grab you THEN check the photos. If they look OK to you or better then chat...people hardly ever resemble their photos anyway.

What do you mean if you were a woman xD why Would only a woman need to overlook the photos. And I totally agree with the above poster the conversation matters most, but I do look at the quick profile just in case they have crazy, deal breaker stuff on there. I don't even care if it's blank, I'm just checking to make sure you don't have 5 paragraph rant about your ex on there or smthng.

But yea, this presupposes men look at the profiles first HAHAHA if only women are doing it wrong or do you just think women should not care as much about physical attraction. That's a interesting sentiment.

Everyone I've met looked like their pics, but I've heard some people to misrepresent themselves a lot. So weird.

Edited March 29, 2017 by Cookiesandough

March 29, 2017

I do think a lot of women use OLD in a totally stupid way. For one thing, I'm pretty certain that no woman I've ever had a relationship with would ever have responded to me on a dating app. Really, if I were a woman I'd ignore photos and just read the profile. If their blurb and interests really grab you THEN check the photos. If they look OK to you or better then chat...people hardly ever resemble their photos anyway.

Funny you mention this, but the women I've met in real life and dated, had I contacted them via POF, they would have likely never responded simply because they were remotely cute.

I recall how a man contacted a woman locally, she ignored him obviously, and one day he bumped into her at a public event, chatted her up, asked her out, and went out quite a few times before revealed to her that he emailed her on POF.

She was like, "OMG! If I had known it was you, I would have NEVER ignored you!"

lol...it's amazing how it works that way.

March 29, 2017

I personally don't care about the profile as much. I do care about the level of conversation via messaging. I do have a few criteria before I would even respond to a message that until further notice I am not compromising on. He has to be within 45 miles, he has to be tall as me or taller (im 5'11" which is unfortunate. I personally wish I was shorter so I can give shorter guys a chance. but I just don't feel sexy if I have to bend down to kiss you. stupid I know), he cant be in a relationship, separated, or married, and no prison background. so that's my only thing. even if he doesn't look appealing right off the bat if he fits the criteria I will respond. im trying to not be as shallow lol. so assuming he fits the criteria and is in my inbox I base my judgement on whether I want to eventually give this guy my number based off how I feel about our conversation online. then I base my judgement on whether I want to go on a date with this guy based off our conversation via the phone. profiles don't matter all that much to me unless he doesn't fit me criteria cause I have seen fantastic profiles and the convo/date wasn't as fantastic and I have seen blah profiles and they turned out to be decent men.

I know this one woman, about your height, I think 6 feet though. I recall seeing her on POF numerous times. She actually showed up to a real life singles event that I joined up. When she entered the room, she towered over every woman and MAN in the room.

It was a restaurant, we had a reserved area, but when I say she was taller than a lot of people...I meant the general population of the restaurant. Most men probably were about 5'10" that night.

She wasn't too engaging with the men that tried talking to her, so she just spent most of her time talking to her gal pals and avoiding men altogether.

She left early...apparently she didn't like what was on the menu. lol She's probably shorting herself (pun? lol) opportunities by discounting shorter men or men of equal height. Limiting one's self.

Just curious, if you WISH you were shorter so you could date shorter men, does this mean you'd still give them a shot at your current height? Just curious.

March 29, 2017

I most definitely read profiles. But only if I find the pictures attractive first. And if I find the pictures attractive then read the profile and if the guy says something that I don't like in it, then I will pass on him. A blank profile is iffy to me, it tells me that he is lazy or not serious about finding someone. On POF it only takes 5-10 mins to fill out.

March 29, 2017

I most definitely read profiles. But only if I find the pictures attractive first. And if I find the pictures attractive then read the profile and if the guy says something that I don't like in it, then I will pass on him. A blank profile is iffy to me, it tells me that he is lazy or not serious about finding someone. On POF it only takes 5-10 mins to fill out.

Oh yea, that's a good point. On POF you have to enter something. It's lazy/iffy to put "ask me" or random letters or 1 word. On the other sites you can leave it blank.

March 29, 2017

I most definitely read profiles. But only if I find the pictures attractive first. And if I find the pictures attractive then read the profile and if the guy says something that I don't like in it, then I will pass on him. A blank profile is iffy to me, it tells me that he is lazy or not serious about finding someone. On POF it only takes 5-10 mins to fill out.

Oh yea, that's a good point. On POF you have to enter something. It's lazy/iffy to put "ask me" or random letters or 1 word. On the other sites you can leave it blank.

I'm seeing a lot of "Ask me if you want to know more."

And that's that. I guess I can give them credit for the 8 photos they put up. I think POF is turning into a Tinder of sorts...and this is probably how online dating has turned into a Tinder format.

Just look at photos, swipe left/right, and that's that. But without the "Ask me"

March 29, 2017

Oh yea, that's a good point. On POF you have to enter something. It's lazy/iffy to put "ask me" or random letters or 1 word. On the other sites you can leave it blank.

Yeah I don't like that.

I'm seeing a lot of "Ask me if you want to know more."

And that's that. I guess I can give them credit for the 8 photos they put up. I think POF is turning into a Tinder of sorts...and this is probably how online dating has turned into a Tinder format.

Just look at photos, swipe left/right, and that's that. But without the "Ask me"

I wouldn't go that far to say it's turning into a Tinder. Most people do fill out their profiles.

March 29, 2017

I can't tell what someone looks like just from photos. I can't know or get to know them from reading profiles or exchanging texts, at all. And phone conversations are only marginally better. I need to meet and talk to someone in person before I can make any value judgments whatsoever.

For those reasons, the way I would use OLD would be to set a distance criteria and meet everyone that didn't have some aspect to their photos that rendered them completely unattractive to me; I would ignore the profiles for the most part. I'm saying this is different than deciding they are definitely attractive to me, which is the way I read many of the requirements stated here on LS.

Just how it would work best for me...

March 29, 2017

I can't tell what someone looks like just from photos. I can't know or get to know them from reading profiles or exchanging texts, at all. And phone conversations are only marginally better. I need to meet and talk to someone in person before I can make any value judgments whatsoever.

For those reasons, the way I would use OLD would be to set a distance criteria and meet everyone that didn't have some aspect to their photos that rendered them completely unattractive to me; I would ignore the profiles for the most part. I'm saying this is different than deciding they are definitely attractive to me, which is the way I read many of the requirements stated here on LS.

Just how it would work best for me...

I met some people who actually looked better than their photos once we met.

March 29, 2017

I'm seeing a lot of "Ask me if you want to know more."

I can't tell what someone looks like just from photos.

I can't know or get to know them from reading profiles or exchanging texts,

I met some people who actually looked better than their photos once we met.

I do think this is very generational

There is absolutely no way anybody is going to have the patience to do the CSI thing like I do. Only an OCD crazy dude would do that. And a man who is 20 or 30 or 40 has different criteria. Plus I get that I am not a patient dude and have little sense of humor with someone until I meet them. I am MUCH better in person. My Achilles Heel is in my pics I don’t smile, so folks could think I’m a cranky bastard.

I absolutely won’t do the “ask me” my thinking only a self-important,

narcissistic type would do that, and I believe that is simply being intellectually lazy. If you are on a dating site to meet people and are taking it seriously don’t be a jackass.

Can’t tell what someone looks like from photos…

For me it is not just the photo, someone posting all sorts of silly stuff,

drinking, with only very close face shots is hiding something. More

importantly dose the photos jive with the profile. Also how old are the pics. A confident, attractive woman will just post a nice simple smiling pic.

I can’t get to know someone…

I just want to see if the person is able to articulate who they are and is not an idiot or mentally ill.

If you ALL UPPER CASE A PROFILE…. No

Some people who looked better...

Because of my scrutiny everyone has looked exactly as advertised, except for 1 or 2 that I remember.

But just like all of us have different criteria for life… what car we drive, city we live in, fashion, and choice of music, who we are attracted to. We go with what works for us.

March 29, 2017

I do think this is very generational

There is absolutely no way anybody is going to have the patience to do the CSI thing like I do. Only an OCD crazy dude would do that. And a man who is 20 or 30 or 40 has different criteria. Plus I get that I am not a patient dude and have little sense of humor with someone until I meet them. I am MUCH better in person. My Achilles Heel is in my pics I don’t smile, so folks could think I’m a cranky bastard.

I absolutely won’t do the “ask me” my thinking only a self-important,
narcissistic type would do that, and I believe that is simply being intellectually lazy. If you are on a dating site to meet people and are taking it seriously don’t be a jackass.

Can’t tell what someone looks like from photos…

For me it is not just the photo, someone posting all sorts of silly stuff,

drinking, with only very close face shots is hiding something. More
importantly dose the photos jive with the profile. Also how old are the pics. A confident, attractive woman will just post a nice simple smiling pic.

I can’t get to know someone…

I just want to see if the person is able to articulate who they are and is not an idiot or mentally ill.

If you ALL UPPER CASE A PROFILE…. No

Some people who looked better...

Because of my scrutiny everyone has looked exactly as advertised, except for 1 or 2 that I remember.

But just like all of us have different criteria for life… what car we drive, city we live in, fashion, and choice of music, who we are attracted to. We go with what works for us.

I look for a cute face with a smile. Body size is not important to me.

March 29, 2017

I look for a cute face with a smile. Body size is not important to me.

Hey that's cool, whatever works for you. What that brings to mind is would you choose a car based on a pic of ONLY the front grill?

March 29, 2017

Hey that's cool, whatever works for you. What that brings to mind is would you choose a car based on a pic of ONLY the front grill?

No I would start with the look of the grill and then focus on other factors

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