Best way to turn someone down

[lindya]

Anyone got any polite and non-brutal brush offs that don't involve the words "nice" "friends" and "maybe"? Something kind yet unambiguous? For whatever reason, he's choosing to ignore the very evident lack of sexual chemistry

[A Fly onThe Wall]

I think we are just not compatable.

 

OR

 

You are just not my match for what I am looking for.

 

OR

 

I found someone and I started to date them seriously

 

OR

 

I just don't see a future for us .. Nothing personal there just isn't the "click"

[ReluctantRomeo]

Never use the words nice and maybe. Friends is a good one though if you mean it.

 

I usually come right out and say "I don't see myself with you, but I'm really flattered by your attention". I praise them for one or more of their strong points and then say "but I just don't think it will work out". Then I wish them good luck in some upcoming event (like "Good luck arranging thanksgiving - tell me how it goes") which makes it clear I don't want to see them until then, but will happily do so after.

[lindya]

Thanks for that. There's a bit of persistence involved, unfortunately. I blame this idea men are brainwashed with that women like playing hard to get.

 

Have tried the "not looking for a relationship right now" line, which was met with "that's okay - no strings, let's just have fun!" response. I didn't have the heart to say "but I really don't think it would be any fun". I think I'm going to go with the "not a match" one. Thanks Fly. Am mulling over the "picking out a strength so that the brush off is combined with a positive stroke" idea, Romeo - but on the basis of what I've witnessed already, that will probably be misinterpreted as a maybe

 

I loathe dating. I'm going to build myself a shed and hibernate.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

If he doesn't get it... Tell him look there is no middle ground..

 

 

And stay firm with your reasons and don't waver.. He might jump at any crack you show

[Merin]

Originally posted by lindya

Thanks for that. There's a bit of persistence involved, unfortunately. I blame this idea men are brainwashed with that women like playing hard to get.

 

 

LOL Thats funny!

[lindya]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

.. He might jump at any crack you show

 

 

I certainly don't plan on showing them.

[westernxer]

Just say no.

[Merin]

Originally posted by westernxer

Just say no.

 

BUT say it reaaaaalllllyyyyy LOUD!

 

[alphamale]

Originally posted by westernxer

Just say no.

nancy reagan

[Nomad]

What's the situation here? Who is this guy? Friend, coworker, online buddy, or what? Have you been on any dates at all with him?

[Rosalind]

Originally posted by lindya

I loathe dating. I'm going to build myself a shed and hibernate.

 

[lindya]

Originally posted by Nomad

What's the situation here? Who is this guy? Friend, coworker, online buddy, or what? Have you been on any dates at all with him?

 

Friend of a friend. Been out with him once - lured under false pretences. He said that a bunch of people were going out for a meal, and would I like to join them? When I turned up it was just me and him. The others had "cancelled at the last minute".

[westernxer]

What a bastard... gotta give him credit for trying, but now you know.

[lindya]

Originally posted by westernxer

What a bastard... gotta give him credit for trying, but now you know.

 

I thought it was just a bit sad, that he had to trick someone into going on a date with him. I did the "not a match" line, which was met by something along the lines of "you're being presumptious - I just thought it would be fun to hang out together." I felt forced into texting back "well I'm sorry, but I don't." I hate being pushed into that corner where you have no choice but to be a bitch.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

you weren't a bitch .. He was a pushy as*hole that wasn't even giving your thoughts and feelings a second thought..I say good riddens