Didyouknow96 Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 Basically, I developed very strong feelings for a FWB and he ghosted on me at the beginning of February after we had a small falling out. I still cry about him very often. He wasn't watching my snapchat stories for a while but he did last night, and I seriously just burst out crying because I made it out to be a sign that he still liked and cared about me. I know it's BS. He's only in the US for a year and will be going back to England this May. the idea of him leaving and me never seeing him again is so incredibly painful to me I can't even describe it. I literally started crying just writing that sentence. I basically spent the last two months getting drunk every friday and saturday in hopes of forgetting about him. I've been party hopping hoping to see him, and when I finally did nothing happened, he didn't say hi to me, I didn't say hi to him. This guy really hurt me. I was severely depressed after he ghosted on me and he wasn't even too nice to me while we were hanging out. But I can't help how I feel. I can't talk to any of my friends about this because they don't get it and just keep saying he's not interested and that I just had a casual thing. I don't care if that's true, it probably is, but I still think I love him. I don't know what to do. I want to see him and hug him and kiss him and just be with him so badly but it's never going to happen. And I know that if we kept our situation going this whole semester and then he was just like peace out in May when he had to go home, I would have been even more hurt, so hurt, it would've destroyed me. I know my pain is irrational. I get it. But I can't help it. It hurts. What should I do? Guys have been interested in me in the past two months but all I think about all day is him. I wake up thinking about him and fall asleep thinking about him. It's awful. Any advice? For a description of what happened, you can read my previous post.
smackie9 Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 stop reliving what was and how it ended....Please just let him go, and accept it's over....move on.
smackie9 Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 OK how about this....give yourself some closure, either text him, email him, or physically confront him about how angry about how he handled things, how it hurt you, how unfair, etc....just get it out of your system. I believe that is all you really have to do....
Author Didyouknow96 Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 OK how about this....give yourself some closure, either text him, email him, or physically confront him about how angry about how he handled things, how it hurt you, how unfair, etc....just get it out of your system. I believe that is all you really have to do.... I have no way of physically confronting him. But the thing is I don't just want to yell at him and make him feel bad, I still want to be with him, so I don't thinking venting my heart out and alienating him would do much for me.
smackie9 Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 (edited) I have no way of physically confronting him. But the thing is I don't just want to yell at him and make him feel bad, I still want to be with him, so I don't thinking venting my heart out and alienating him would do much for me. I'm advising you to move on because he doesn't want anything to do with you....get it? it's over. This guy ditched you, he walked.....you need to close this chapter of your life so you can be with someone who will want to love you and share their life with you....this guy isn't it and that is what is stopping you from meeting someone who truly WANTS to be with you. Edited March 26, 2017 by smackie9
coolheadal Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 Basically, I developed very strong feelings for a FWB and he ghosted on me at the beginning of February after we had a small falling out. I still cry about him very often. He wasn't watching my snapchat stories for a while but he did last night, and I seriously just burst out crying because I made it out to be a sign that he still liked and cared about me. I know it's BS. He's only in the US for a year and will be going back to England this May. the idea of him leaving and me never seeing him again is so incredibly painful to me I can't even describe it. I literally started crying just writing that sentence. I basically spent the last two months getting drunk every friday and saturday in hopes of forgetting about him. I've been party hopping hoping to see him, and when I finally did nothing happened, he didn't say hi to me, I didn't say hi to him. This guy really hurt me. I was severely depressed after he ghosted on me and he wasn't even too nice to me while we were hanging out. But I can't help how I feel. I can't talk to any of my friends about this because they don't get it and just keep saying he's not interested and that I just had a casual thing. I don't care if that's true, it probably is, but I still think I love him. I don't know what to do. I want to see him and hug him and kiss him and just be with him so badly but it's never going to happen. And I know that if we kept our situation going this whole semester and then he was just like peace out in May when he had to go home, I would have been even more hurt, so hurt, it would've destroyed me. I know my pain is irrational. I get it. But I can't help it. It hurts. What should I do? Guys have been interested in me in the past two months but all I think about all day is him. I wake up thinking about him and fall asleep thinking about him. It's awful. Any advice? For a description of what happened, you can read my previous post. You want thinks to work out but he doesn't. You need to respect his wishes and move on. Thinking about him will linger but you have to get over it. Why waste all your minutes in a day over a man who doesn't feel the same as you. Can't change him it doesn't work like that. If it did you would have what you want which is him. I would leave the house go somewhere to think about this. Your just not doing it right all this crying is so unhealthy and it will get worst. Stop drinking, that doesn't help that only makes your body worst and destroys your mind in the end. 1
smackie9 Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 If you want this misery to end you need to cut the cord....cut your attachment. I believe he knew you were catching feelings, he couldn't reciprocate and the coward that he is, ghosted on your to avoid seeing you getting upset at him for wanting to end it. 1
curiouslysearching Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 If you want this misery to end you need to cut the cord....cut your attachment. I believe he knew you were catching feelings, he couldn't reciprocate and the coward that he is, ghosted on your to avoid seeing you getting upset at him for wanting to end it. Just Don't Put Yourself Through It.....cut it loose and move on.
Author Didyouknow96 Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 I'm advising you to move on because he doesn't want anything to do with you....get it? it's over. This guy ditched you, he walked.....you need to close this chapter of your life so you can be with someone who will want to love you and share their life with you....this guy isn't it and that is what is stopping you from meeting someone who truly WANTS to be with you. But I have put myself out there...the only way to really do that in college is go to parties and I do all the time! I even went on a date with a guy and it went really well but in the end all he wanted was to hook up. And I just don't think it's fair to get into a relationship with someone new when I'm still lingering on this guy. I agree I should stop drinking, but that's easier said then done, I'm in college.
Author Didyouknow96 Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 If you want this misery to end you need to cut the cord....cut your attachment. I believe he knew you were catching feelings, he couldn't reciprocate and the coward that he is, ghosted on your to avoid seeing you getting upset at him for wanting to end it. I know that's probably what happened but idk I'm just confused. We texted very often and supported each other and wished each other happy new year merry christmas etc. At the beginning he even asked me to go to nyc with him. It felt like he wanted more than just a casual hook up. He would say things like "I want to see you" and if he was gone the weekend he'd make sure we hung out during the week. Granted it would still just be late at night and hooking up...sigh.
Kitchen Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 First you need to decide to get over him, once you do, you'll get over him, trust me. The process of getting over him will first happen slowly, then quickly. Meaning, in the beginning you'll feel like you're moving at a snail's pace, or maybe even moving backwards. That will cause you to lose hope of ever getting over him, but worry not, because after X number of days, you'll have made so much progress cumulatively. So how do you deal with snail's pace in the beginning? Give yourself a pat on the back for achieving minor goals. So let's say day 1 you spend in bed crying. Day 2, you spend 75% in bed crying but the other 25% you get up and walk around the house -> that's progress. Day 3, you may actually walk out of the house and buy groceries. Day 4, the thought of going to the gym crosses your mind, even though you don't make it in lol. See what I mean? You'll notice these tiny changes, which to you may seem like nothing, but it's a sign that you're improving. And the more your improve, the faster it'll become. It's exponential. It's not the same # of days for anyone, but I believe that WANTING to get over him is the key to making the progress. Wanting progress will lead to progress. Also, I agree that you shouldn't drink. Alcohol is a depressant and it'll just set you back. Just go out and sip on club soda. As a girl, all you have to do is stand around in clubs and you'll draw men like a magnet, and that should help your ego. Source: I'm a guy, currently Day 8 of NC. I know what I'm talking about.
spiderowl Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 What was the 'small falling out' about? Was it that you felt he was not as involved as you? If so, that could be why he ghosted - that he knew he wasn't and it was not fair on you. If you have tried to contact him and he hasn't responded, then he's either playing a power game or he does not want contact. Neither are very good. You would be better to move on if you could. You feel bonded to him at the moment because of what you have experienced with him in terms of physical intimacy. It is possible to get over this but it takes time and the realisation that he was not the guy you thought he was. I'm sorry you are suffering. It can get better. 1
Author Didyouknow96 Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 But he started watching my snapchat stories again :( . It only means something to me because he stopped watching them for a while. I know he could try to contact me and all but for some reason I just can't accept the fact that he's not into me.
Author Didyouknow96 Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 I mean, I'm a college student, I've been going about my life normally, going out every weekend, doing **** with friends, still not over him, still cry every night.
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