Should I Tell Him

[sleepyicarus]

In around September during class, this dude started talking to me(I'll call him Brandon). Well Brandon and I talked basically all class period on stupid little things and it was home. Around 3 days later I noticed he has messaged me, and then we start talking day and night online. He and I got along very well, but it seemed like he was flirting with me(all of my friends said the same) so I joked about him flirting, but he said that that wasn't flirting at all. Anyway, two weeks later he and his girlfriend break up because of their long distance. I comfort him a lot during this time period because he was really upset.

 

In early December I start to witness him actually flirting. I really enjoyed it, but it was so much different from other people's flirting that I was used to. His flirting was more sexual. After school, we talked more, even about the way he flirted with me and I sent him a rather dirty message to go along with it. At first he was taken aback, probably not expecting it, but after this he and I started a friend's with benefits type of thing, just without the sex.

 

We were quite romantic together as well, which really made me gain a lot of feelings for him but I didn't know if he had the same. He would always look after me during that class. If another dude touched me he'd get pissed. At the end of the class we usually sit around until it's over, which is the time that we'd discreetly touch and tease one another.

During mid December, a few weeks later, the school was hosting a winter formal dance called snowball. So I messaged Brandon and asked if he would go with me. But he was scared of losing his masculinity so he declined my offer, and asked me to go with him.

 

At snowball, it wasn't a whole lot of flirting until really the end. I'd playfully try to touch his butt, in which he would put me in front of him, turned around, and wrap his arms around me so I would stop. We lasted like this for a long time, since neither of us really wanted to dance. But then he whispers in my ear, "I want to kiss you; is that okay?" And he can't hear me well over the loud music, so I just nod. He switches spots with me and kisses me. Soon the dance is over and my ride was here. He kisses me goodbye again.

 

That night and the next few he said he couldn't stop thinking about the dance. Neither could I.

Winter break came up later the next week. He promised to stay with me until the bus came and picked me up. And he kissed me again. I was staying at a friend's house on new years, so we could celebrate. Brandon wasn't allowed to leave, so he and I messaged pretty much all night. I tried to get him to come over, but he still couldn't.

 

After that night it seemed like he just kinda put me on the side. It may have been from my drunk text messages but I don't know. So our fwb friendship was kinda put on hiatusz even when we got to school. I didn't talk to him for about a week but he used his charm and made me start talking to him again.

 

One of my friends during lunch, to him and I, said "why don't you guys date already" and Brandon shrugs and my friend looked at me and says "you just gave me that look of well he hasn't asked yet shut up". Later that night Brandon messages me and tells me reasons he can't date me. I can't remember all of them, but some of them were how he doesn't want to lose me, ruin our friendship, and that none of his relationships end to where they stay friends after.

 

I agree with his reasons but I still like him. Later that night I ask my brother for advice, and he says that he used to do the same thing as Brandon did when he was in high school. He said I should stop being friends with him or end the romantic stuff, because it's highly likely that I'm not the only one he's doing to this to. What he describes to me sounds exactly like what Brandon is doing, but even after this I can't seem to stay away.

 

Mid February he messages me out of nowhere (as it's usually me who has to message first now) and is like "I miss touching your ass" and I miss what we had so we start the fwb friendship again. One day during lunch, he looks at me and is like "I like you" but since I doubt it I reply with "no you don't" and he just nods and we don't say anything again.

 

Our fwb friendship is still going, but sort of dies off again, similar to how it did during winter break. My feelings are still there for him, and I know that he isn't very good for me and I want to tell him that I really like him but I don't know if that's going to ruin our friendship.

Edited March 25, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[smackie9]

He already knows you like him, and telling him isn't going to play in your favor...he already told you he won't date you. In fact he doesn't want to date anyone he wants to be a single guy where he doesn't have to play by anyone's rules...he wants to play the field...does not want to be tied down in a relationship for a long while. So that being said you are totally out of luck. You either suffer along and keep catching feelings that won't benefit you in anyway, or you cut him off and save yourself from being hurt and feeling hopeless. You cannot force or make someone want you.