After cheating, he comes to me for condolences ?? WTF??

[totallyconfused]

DANG

 

I was @ work today and left my ringer on loud, so I ended up scrambling to answer the phone b/c we aren't technically supposed to bring in cellphones in. The moment I flipped open the phone, I realized it was him. UGH It took a second to realize b/c I deleted him off my cellphone and he has a semi-new phone number so it didnt click fast enough! So I end up picking up the phone.

 

I was just like hey whatsup. Turns out his stepdad is in the hospital and may possibly pass away within the next few days. He sounded like he was almost crying, so I told him to be strong and that whether or not his stepdad passed away today, tomorrow or next week that it was his time. And that life will work its way through and that his stepdad can hear everything he says and will be in his heart. I also told him that I'd pray for his stepdad and him also.

 

He told me he knows he shouldnt be calling me after all the crap I put you through, he just didnt know who to call that would understand what he's going through and who knew his stepdad. OH! did I have to refrain myself from lashing out - why dont you call your new little gf! I told him that I hadnt meant to pick up the phone, but the ringer was so loud, I just picked it up and since I had deleted his #, I picked up by accident [in a friendly tone btw]. lol He was like you really deleted my #? I said not to worry and that he'll see his dad tomorrow and then he'd have been worrying for nothing. I just kept saying stay strong.

 

He then asked me how work was and I said fantastic, and he was like really? Then somehow the conversation just veered off, he still says talk to you later, but I always say, just bye now.

 

SERIOUSLY WTF does he expect me to say to him? That he comes to me for condolence? He has his ten 16-20 y/o online gfs he can talk to even tho they are all too dumb to understand. He even said himself that he couldnt expect anything from me to say anything to him. IDK I guess its just too awkward. I shouldnt care, even about the phone call. I wouldnt have changed what I said to him, I told him a universal, religious, sympathy words. If I were to change anything, I wouldn't have picked up the call at all.

 

Oh...just need to follow through with my thoughts.

 

Sorry to bore you all.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by totallyconfused

so I told him to be strong and that whether or not his stepdad passed away today, tomorrow or next week that it was his time. And that life will work its way through and that his stepdad can hear everything he says and will be in his heart. I also told him that I'd pray for his stepdad and him also.

 

 

Let it go at that ...... You did okay ...... He needed a shoulder for comfort and you comforted him..

[totallyconfused]

i shouldnt have comforted him though! urghh he didnt help me out when i need comfort. grrr i was too nice.

[lindya]

Originally posted by totallyconfused

grrr i was too nice.

 

If you've got the time and inclination to respond when he's being needy, then fair enough. It's not about being too nice, it's about being a reasonably caring and "together" individual. Just make sure that when it comes to actual romance, you give him a wide berth and stick to playing with other adults.

[New_Wife]

Originally posted by totallyconfused

i shouldnt have comforted him though! urghh he didnt help me out when i need comfort. grrr i was too nice.

 

No. You were being a wonderful, caring person. I applaud you for comforting another human in pain - even one who was so clearly undeserving of it.

 

If you had lashed out at him in his downtime - the shame would be yours.

 

But you comforted him - The shame is now doubly his.

 

Let it go. You are a better person than most.

[totallyconfused]

OMFG this jerko calls me for a condolence and what does this a$$ do??!!

 

so after he calls ME for comfort and sympathy, he goes and puts a pic of that girl on HIS website and puts up those pics back up - the one with him and I where he cuts me out of the picture. after i told him specifically 2 weeks ago that if he had ANY respect for the relationship we had had and me that he'd take them down. i know i shouldnt be looking at that stupid site but WTF he is literally now doing this deliberately to hurt me?

 

he asks me for condolence and comfort then literally slaps me right in the face thereafter. am i right ? wtf. im shocked. its like he's thinking - oh she thinks she can get over me that quickly well here bltch try it now.

 

FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, theres no point in loooking at his site. i was looking at it before b/c i wanted to know what he was up to and it was just hard that i didnt talk to him. but now his intentions are seriously evil.

 

is anyone as shocked as i am? im trying to move forward but this jerk is just a real f-cker, thank goodness im going out this weekend - i need to take care of me!

[Mary3]

Sometimes we get curious and we snoop ( like looking at his web site out of sheer boredom or truly being curious ) and we run across something we dont like.

 

I think he KNOWS you look at his site and this was intentional.

[EnigmaXOXO]

so after he calls ME for comfort and sympathy, he goes and puts a pic of that girl on HIS website and puts up those pics back up - the one with him and I where he cuts me out of the picture. after i told him specifically 2 weeks ago that if he had ANY respect for the relationship we had had and me that he'd take them down. i know i shouldnt be looking at that stupid site but WTF he is literally now doing this deliberately to hurt me?

 

I applaud you for taking the high road and being polite. You handled it wonderfully. However, I think the comment about deleting his number stung his ego, and knowing you have peeked at his silly website before, he was hoping you would check in again. Perhaps he did what he did out of spite.

 

Sophomoric head games.

 

Be done with this emotional parasite once and for all. You're way too good to waste your time playing surrogate mommy to some bratty little man-child. The next time you pick up the phone and hear his voice, simply ask that he not call you again and HANG UP.

 

Short, sweet, and straight to the point!

[totallyconfused]

thanks, i will def. take your advice enigma and just simply tell him not to call me anymore. i dont know how women can put up with this crappola. thank goodness im out.