alcarbone Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I always get confused in these situations. I am sometimes approached by women who are "taken." They are evidently taken when they wear a wedding band. I am also approached by women who are accompanied by a man they are dancing intimately with. I never know what to do in these situations. Since I am being approached, the woman is interested and has taken initiative to let me know. OTOH, well, she is taken. Do I just continue ignoring these women?
Author alcarbone Posted March 25, 2017 Author Posted March 25, 2017 The married women are usually very attractive. Typically 30's and 40's. Not fat.
central Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Ask them if they are swingers or in an open relationship. If they say yes, then if you want to pursue the opportunity, ask to have their husband or bf confirm that. This will weed out the cheaters, leaving those who are ethically available for casual sex. 1
act00 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I'm not sure what this "approach" is. Are they just talking to you? Just want to dance? Do you feel a conversation with someone means they want to sleep with you, ulterior motives, or they are just plain conversing? You're in a bar and people drink, let their guards down, flirt, friendly, but this doesn't mean they want to jump your bones. What is happening that these women who seem otherwise attached, are glomming on you? I just wonder if you're confusing general conversations and friendliness and wanting to dance with come-ons and a desire to take you to bed. 1
smackie9 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Some taken women who know they are attractive will go out and flirt, chat up guys with no intention of anything but getting attention to prove they still have it. 6
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I'm not sure what this "approach" is. Are they just talking to you? Just want to dance? Do you feel a conversation with someone means they want to sleep with you, ulterior motives, or they are just plain conversing? You're in a bar and people drink, let their guards down, flirt, friendly, but this doesn't mean they want to jump your bones. What is happening that these women who seem otherwise attached, are glomming on you? I just wonder if you're confusing general conversations and friendliness and wanting to dance with come-ons and a desire to take you to bed. I am wondering this too. Some men think any time a woman engages them socially, they want the D. The truth is that we are taught/told from the cradle onward that we are supposed to be social, fill in quiet gaps, make people who look uncomfortable more at ease in a social setting and so on. We don't all like this, obviously, and we don't all do it, especially if we've had bad experiences from being friendly, but culturally, it is still expected that women "act" social. As a married woman I am *more* likely to strike up a conversation out somewhere in public with a man if I have a my wedding ring on. The reason: I assume he knows I'm not looking for "something" because, well, there's my ring, advertising that I am not looking for a dude. Wow, maybe I was wrong. 2
TheTraveler Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I am wondering this too. Some men think any time a woman engages them socially, they want the D. The truth is that we are taught/told from the cradle onward that we are supposed to be social, fill in quiet gaps, make people who look uncomfortable more at ease in a social setting and so on. We don't all like this, obviously, and we don't all do it, especially if we've had bad experiences from being friendly, but culturally, it is still expected that women "act" social. As a married woman I am *more* likely to strike up a conversation out somewhere in public with a man if I have a my wedding ring on. The reason: I assume he knows I'm not looking for "something" because, well, there's my ring, advertising that I am not looking for a dude. Wow, maybe I was wrong. Here's an example from two days ago. I'm at the gym standing next to an attractive woman. She makes a comment about me, we talk(why not? what else are you doing in between sets/resting), she mentions she's married(I see her ring), she's in town for business, and eventually ask me out for drinks after we are done working out. I declined Point of all this. How does the conversation flow...tells you everything
mikeylo Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 It depends how they approach you. Since you have posted, I guess its more on the flirting and interested in you kinda rather than normal friendly. If its the friendly, no harm. If its the interested in you kinda, well, their could be number of reasons. They are looking for BBD, are in open relationship,affair, validation, ego boost , etc. etc. In either case, if you are single, all kind of people will approach you.If you are in a relationship, make it known, wear your ring and dont indulge.Reject.
act00 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Well, this could go in two directions. 1) Woman is in town for business and enjoyed conversing with you with a shared interest, and wouldn't mind having someone to hang out with, with no intention of going beyond friendship. 2) Woman is in town for business for a couple days and is open to a one-nighter, talks with a buff dude at the gym, extends an invitation for drinks. Women talking to you does not mean they're coming on to you, and purposefully mentioning they're married means they don't want to give you any ideas that talking to you is anything more than friendly banter. Certainly there are women who would be more than happy to have a romp in the sack with you, and maybe you're a magnet to these women, but I think overall, you should expect a conversation is not anything more than just a conversation. Continue to decline invitations if you feel the interaction is moving in a direction you are not comfortable with.
harrybrown Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 if you want to avoid an angry husband with a gun, keep declining the invitations. One nice lady that I helped was with her son, a young adult. She made some comment that she wanted to kiss me. I declined, because I am married. But also, I do not want anyone taking shots at me. Besides, it would hurt my wife of over 40 years if I did something like that. I do not want her out kissing other men, so i should not be out kissing other women.
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Here's an example from two days ago. I'm at the gym standing next to an attractive woman. She makes a comment about me, we talk(why not? what else are you doing in between sets/resting), she mentions she's married(I see her ring), she's in town for business, and eventually ask me out for drinks after we are done working out. I declined Point of all this. How does the conversation flow...tells you everything OMG, nooooo way, LOL! That is so 70s! "I'm married, I'm on business, want to have a drink?" I don't know, then. Are you eyeing these women? Are you hanging out at lots of Warren Beatty film festivals? I don't know. They're horny and want an ego boost, and for some reason, they think you're approachable in that way. Just say no and go your way, I guess.
stillafool Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I always get confused in these situations. I am sometimes approached by women who are "taken." They are evidently taken when they wear a wedding band. I am also approached by women who are accompanied by a man they are dancing intimately with. I never know what to do in these situations. Since I am being approached, the woman is interested and has taken initiative to let me know. OTOH, well, she is taken. Do I just continue ignoring these women? Absolutely ignore them. Who would want to be with a woman who was that disrespectful and desperate anyway. I would be afraid she had something.
stillafool Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Here's an example from two days ago. I'm at the gym standing next to an attractive woman. She makes a comment about me, we talk(why not? what else are you doing in between sets/resting), she mentions she's married(I see her ring), she's in town for business, and eventually ask me out for drinks after we are done working out. I declined Point of all this. How does the conversation flow...tells you everything To me it says she is looking for sex on the side. 1
Author alcarbone Posted March 25, 2017 Author Posted March 25, 2017 Here's an example from two days ago. I'm at the gym standing next to an attractive woman. She makes a comment about me, we talk(why not? what else are you doing in between sets/resting), she mentions she's married(I see her ring), she's in town for business, and eventually ask me out for drinks after we are done working out. I declined Point of all this. How does the conversation flow...tells you everything I am usually approached on the dance floor. The women either start to dance close and closer and closer or grab me or start to grind on me. Conversation is usually minimal to nonexistent. Strictly physical approaches usually. Some are married with ring others are with a single male others with mixed groups.
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I am usually approached on the dance floor. The women either start to dance close and closer and closer or grab me or start to grind on me. Conversation is usually minimal to nonexistent. Strictly physical approaches usually. Some are married with ring others are with a single male others with mixed groups. So...you're out dancing. With no date at your side, I'm assuming. I'm guessing everybody's been drinking in this scenario? How often do you go out dancing all alone, get out on the floor and start dancing, not expecting anyone to approach, whether taken or, as you point out above, single? Is this a club? If so, grinding and grabbing aren't exactly rare.
Tressugar Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 You are considered a "safe" guy with these women. Women like to feel safe.
coolheadal Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I always get confused in these situations. I am sometimes approached by women who are "taken." They are evidently taken when they wear a wedding band. I am also approached by women who are accompanied by a man they are dancing intimately with. I never know what to do in these situations. Since I am being approached, the woman is interested and has taken initiative to let me know. OTOH, well, she is taken. Do I just continue ignoring these women? i know 3 women who are married. Woman #1 - Still married since 30 years, but Going through a Divorce because the husband cheated with her best friend in the family swimming pool at a party they had when she was drunk. Odd relationship - Currently not speaking with her since 11/16 Woman #2 - Still married since 30 years, husband was a player/cheater has 9 kids and 4 with her. Shes still buddies with him. He calls her up for all occasions including her birthday. She even slept with him when he had returned in 2015 until for 6 months. I finally got her to go for a divorce. Got to see if you actually does it this time. Woman #3 - Still married to Army COL. I guess she married for title and wealth. She has a nice car, house and maid but she's unhappy in her marriage with the COL. Told me she wants to come and visit me later this year with him. I like to see that happen. She sends me all sorts of pictures of herself. I allow this to go on because I would like to see what else she has planned. Her game plan is this she will get the visa to come to here with her Husband. Both stay in my house he will be here 1 month and then she'll stay even after he lives for 3 months with me. I still found the idea of what she has plans odd behavior. I do not mess around with married women, I can have them as a friend only. Woman #3 is the most crazest one of them all. She skypes with me and the husband always smiling at me. He will not divorce her. Oh well. They could be swingers who knows.. I don't care they're not here yet.. Anyway so many women are in unhappy marriages, those with kids are more baggage to deal with.
Author alcarbone Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 Things went much more smoothly this time. I was approached mainly by groups of women: in pairs, but also in larger groups of 4 or 5. I still have a bit of a tendency simply to ignore people who want to talk to me, simply because I don't know them and also because I'm a bit cautious at night.
Author alcarbone Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 I define it as the following: 1. physical contact 2. conversation 3. proximity so close that social interaction becomes inevitable 4. other actions that are meant to initiate interaction, such as pointing, waving, asking for high five etc.
stillafool Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 You are considered a "safe" guy with these women. Women like to feel safe. How is grinding up on a complete stranger feeling safe? If they want to be safe they should dance with their gfs.
Tressugar Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 I must have missed that bit of info. I was addressing the part if the OP keeps attracting married/taken women he must put out that harmless safe guy friendly vibe.
Author alcarbone Posted March 27, 2017 Author Posted March 27, 2017 How is grinding up on a complete stranger feeling safe? If they want to be safe they should dance with their gfs. I had a great time this weekend. I won't say how many women approached but it was a lot. :-)
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