leeroy1985 Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Youve probably heard me moaning on about my girlfriend on her before because shes the first girl ive ever loved (im only 19) and i dont want my heart breaking! Too late... she broke my heart, i mean she really shattered it, she cheated on me last night and i feel so hurt My friend phoned me at 3 this morning (he was at same club as her) and told me he'd seen her kiss another lad! I couldn't get in touch with her so i sent her and sms telling her we were over and that i cant beleive shed do this to me. Well she phoned me about 6 o clock this morning crying her eyes out saying she was really sorry and that she was drunk and it was only a little kiss and that she pulled away before it turned into a full on frencher! She was histerical with tears and i couldn't help but feel sorry for her, she said she didn't want to lose me and that shes nothing without me, the convo went on for hours. Well ive just got back from seeing her and she looked really distraught and i think she genuinely is sorry and she kept calling her self a stupid cow/bitch! I just said we wont split up and that well work on it but i dont know if i can trust her any more but she said shed never go out again without me (we always go out together anyway apart from odd times-like last night) if it would help me trust her again. I feel a bit happier because it would take forever to get over her but i still feel hurt.... have i done the right thing in forgiving her? Does everyone deserve a second chance?
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by leeroy1985 but i still feel hurt.... have i done the right thing in forgiving her? Does everyone deserve a second chance? Yes, because she was sorry. But don't let her get in the same position again.
Athena21 Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 You did the right thing. I did the same thing to my boyfriend and I felt so terrible the only difference is I waited two years to tell him because I was so afraid of losing him. If she truly is sorry for her actions, she should be givin a second chance in order to redeem herself, but if she puts herself in that type of situation again, she should be cut off because she obviously didn't learn her lesson. I definitely learned mine and discovered that my man is the one I want to marry. Hopefully this has helped her figure out that she only wants you, otherwise, keep looking! Good luck, I know it's hard.
Spooon69 Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 I may be missing part of the details, so let me see if I got this correct... She goes out to a club, kisses a guy, gets caught by your friend. Friend tells you, you try and contact her, she doesn't respond, you send her an sms. She gets in touch with you 3 hours later and her excuse is that she was drunk and it wasn't really a "full on frencher". Doesn't sound like she would have told you about this if she didn't get caught. Makes you wonder if it has happened before or will happen again. For me that would ruin the relationship and I wouldn't have taken her back.
Cecelius Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by leeroy1985 I feel a bit happier because it would take forever to get over her but i still feel hurt.... have i done the right thing in forgiving her? Does everyone deserve a second chance? Chances are you can feel "happier" with another girl too. This one happens to have been around for a little while and you have some time invested in her. Under what circumstances would you trust her again? She did not confess; your friend told on her. How do you know she ever would have told you? What was she doing in a club, drunk and dancing with dudes anyway? Will she stop drinking? Stop going to clubs? Stop talking to guys in clubs? How will you square the fact that THIS may just be the tip of the ice berg? How do you know a kiss was all that happened? Perhaps your friend only saw so much? Questions like these generally show why its not worth the trouble of keeping a cheating g/f around. No woman is worth troubling yourself over these issues. If she were, she wouldn't have cheated. Most importantly, if you stay with her you will always feel she is a lesser woman. Your friends' girlfriends? You will always consider them superior to yours. Female friends, sister, mama? You will always consider them paragons compared to yours. Do you want, at the age of 19, to settle for someone who is already less than what you thought?
Author leeroy1985 Posted July 28, 2005 Author Posted July 28, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius Under what circumstances would you trust her again? She did not confess; your friend told on her. How do you know she ever would have told you? What was she doing in a club, drunk and dancing with dudes anyway? Will she stop drinking? Stop going to clubs? Stop talking to guys in clubs? How will you square the fact that THIS may just be the tip of the ice berg? How do you know a kiss was all that happened? Perhaps your friend only saw so much? Im not sure if i can ever trust her again but isnt it worth trying? i mean wouldn't it make us stronger (providing that she really didn't mean to do it) I think she would of told me because before we were going out she was my best female friend for a year (which does make it sound a little worser that shed do this to me!) As for going to clubs, i dont mind because i usually go with her but sometimes we got to have time with our friends and theres nothing wrong with talking to guys just kissing them that bothers me! Anyway.... all very good points but you need to understand that this is my first love and i dont want to walk away at the first sight of trouble, we can work at it! Theres just something about the things she said to me that makes me beleive that she didnt mean it... shes different with me. Shes been with 2 of my friends and ive always been there hanging around with my guys so ive learnt from thier mistakes. They used to, if they had an argument, go chasing after her like little puppies (even if argument wasnt thier fault) but i dont, she chases me. She used to walk all over my 2 friends but im more confident and i just come out with stuff if i dont like it! So in a way i beleive that shes truely sorry and she darent do it again because she knows i wont take the crap her other boyfriends took from her! Well thanks for your help guys/girls were working on it but just one more thing.... i cant help coming out with sarcastic comments about it on occasions, is this childish? i mean ive forgave her so should i just forget (try 2) about it or let her know im not letting this go easily?
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 Originally posted by leeroy1985 Well thanks for your help guys/girls were working on it but just one more thing.... i cant help coming out with sarcastic comments about it on occasions, is this childish? i mean ive forgave her so should i just forget (try 2) about it or let her know im not letting this go easily? Sarcasm will pop out naturally from time to time, but try not to, as far as you can. Unless she wants to put herself in the same situation again, in which case a bit of sarcasm is called for.
Shana Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 I would forGET a cheater not forGIVE! She'd be out the door if it was me in your shoes.. let her cry! And don't just say " it was only a kiss" that's bull. Next time it will be "It was only sex" .. then what? Once the door is open they will cheat again.. There are so many faithful good people out there and your young, go find one of those before this girl screws you up for the future. If your friend did not tell you, would she have? Think about it.
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