Wishes23 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) My ex contacted me. Two options. Be polite? or treat her like [i feel]? She broke up with me. I care about her. My natural reaction is to ask how she's doing. But I'm not interested in breadcrumbs. If I'm nice, I don't want to be rejected twice. So.. Should I be myself, be nice, and probably get rejected again. Sound off on her and tell her to get her B ass together and leave my sexy ass alone. Or continue NC which makes me look like I'm still upset, when I'm not, I just want her [] to leave [me] alone. Edited March 25, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
basil67 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 As being a good person is your baseline, you need to find how to continue blocking her in a firm but not rude way. I would suggest "I have moved on and am not interested in staying in contact with you". Then block her from contacting you.
Author Wishes23 Posted March 25, 2017 Author Posted March 25, 2017 Sooooo how will that help me get makeup sex?
mrs rubble Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Stay no contact, although you say this makes you look like you're still upset, I disagree. I also think you are still upset, enough to call her names and make a thread about her....stay no contact, safest way to move on, don't worry about how it looks to her...you're not supposed to be worried about her any more. 1
Author Wishes23 Posted March 25, 2017 Author Posted March 25, 2017 Problem is. Most breakups don't involve seeing each other again. My ex is in my circle of friends. We go out together. Neither of us is going to avoid one another. We don't want it to be awkward for our friends either. This is why NC isn't really an option. I can either return the kickoff 100 yards to the friend zone or build the negative tension and put it on blast.
springy Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 You do not need to communicate with her outside of meetups with your mutual friends. Then you keep it cordial. Otherwise, no need to respond.
Altair0770 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I am incredibly confused... You say you want make-up sex and do not want to be rejected twice but then you say you want her to "leave your sexy ass alone". Which is it? Sounds like you haven't decided. I'd say, "hey, I'm kind of busy these next few days, mind if I get back to you later?" Or something along those lines until you make up your mind if you want to attempt reconciliation or not. Also we'll need a lot more info if you're asking for advice on what to do. You say it's breadcrumbs. What exactly is she saying? Unless it's a very clear indication of reconciliation, it's likely just breadcrumbs to test if you still have feelings for her. Sounds to me like you really do since you made this thread and would call her a "b". 1
Author Wishes23 Posted March 25, 2017 Author Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) I appreciate the advice. I am still into my ex. Problem is, we still see each other when in groups. She's friendly but is determined to friend zone me. She complains that she has to cold shoulder me because I'm still a flirt and sending signals that I want more than a friendship. I'm not about being her friend. She liked me in the first place because I pushed her away and was [a jerk]. Then she got me and I treated her well. I have no problem treating her [poorly] if that's what she wants. I want a relationship. She wants friendship. At the very least, I'm compromising with make-up sex. No friendship here. Edited March 25, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language
Sweetfish Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) what age range are you? Edited March 25, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact full quote of immediately preceding post
Author Wishes23 Posted March 25, 2017 Author Posted March 25, 2017 33 years old. Instead of saying hopefully not over 20, how about offering some advice. What should a 33 year old do?
Blanco Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 A 33-year-old should look for a relationship with healthier dynamics. You say you want a relationship so you shouldn't even be entertaining some sort of FWB agreement since it's unlikely you'll be able to separate the sex from you desire to have a relationship with her. 1
whatdeww18 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I understand it hasn't been too long since the break up and you are possibly in the anger/bargaining stage so talking about a FWB situation is understandable. Since it hasn't been very long since the break up, I think staying in No Contact is the best choice. I don't think you are at a good state to be conversing too much as your emotions may not be in the best place. Some things may be said that you may regret later if you choose to speak with her. It is your choice whether you choose to respond or not. Later, after the dust settles some more, you may be more cordial or decide it's not even worth talking to her. Explanations can come later for your decision to stay silent. 1
basil67 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 33 years old. Instead of saying hopefully not over 20, how about offering some advice. What should a 33 year old do? A <20yo would play the types of games you are talking about. A 33yo would move on and distance her to acquaintance status. 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 I appreciate the advice. I am still into my ex. Problem is, we still see each other when in groups. She's friendly but is determined to friend zone me. She complains that she has to cold shoulder me because I'm still a flirt and sending signals that I want more than a friendship. I'm not about being her friend. She liked me in the first place because I pushed her away and was [a jerk]. Then she got me and I treated her well. I have no problem treating her [poorly] if that's what she wants. I want a relationship. She wants friendship. At the very least, I'm compromising with make-up sex. No friendship here. I'm sorry but I don't think there is going to be any compromises here. If she has friend-zoned you and felt the need to shut down your attempts at flirting, then there is no amount of manipulating the situation will result in sex. It just isn't going to happen. In my experience, once an ex has drawn a line like that, they just don't see you that way anymore. For that reason I would interpret any contact from her to be platonic because you have a shared group of friends and she wants to keep the peace. If you aren't ready (or don't want) to be friends, then you should probably just ignore her message and keep your distance if possible. At 33, there is no point in wasting time on the wrong person. 1
EmilyJane Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 (edited) 33 years old. Instead of saying hopefully not over 20, how about offering some advice. What should a 33 year old do? Should stop being a wanker and playing about. You haven't at all broken up and you're both just creating a bit of drama. Quit wasting our time. If she just wants to be friends then you could also start respecting her requests as an adult you presumably cared about and stop trying to get her knickers down so that you don't feel rejected. Then find a new group of friends and think about growing up so that one day you might be a man Your absence from her world will grant you more respect from her than monkeying around for ex sex ever will. Edited March 28, 2017 by EmilyJane
mightycpa Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 Find a couple new girls, and always bring a different one along when you go see your friends. All wishes are fulfilled: 1) you get makeup sex, albeit with someone else (many others, if you do it right) 2) without saying a word, you tell her to leave your sexy a$$ alone 3) you friendzone her, which will fan the flames of her desire
EmilyJane Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 Find a couple new girls, and always bring a different one along when you go see your friends. All wishes are fulfilled: 1) you get makeup sex, albeit with someone else (many others, if you do it right) 2) without saying a word, you tell her to leave your sexy a$$ alone 3) you friendzone her, which will fan the flames of her desire ^^^^ assuming of course she's a thirteen year old girl. Or otherwise has the intelligence of a squashed fly and half the self respect.
Redhead14 Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 My ex contacted me. Two options. Be polite? or treat her like [i feel]? She broke up with me. I care about her. My natural reaction is to ask how she's doing. But I'm not interested in breadcrumbs. If I'm nice, I don't want to be rejected twice. So.. Should I be myself, be nice, and probably get rejected again. Sound off on her and tell her to get her B ass together and leave my sexy ass alone. Or continue NC which makes me look like I'm still upset, when I'm not, I just want her [] to leave [me] alone. NO CONTACT. It doesn't matter how it makes you look to her. It's not about her. It's about you and giving yourself the opportunity to move forward with your life. But I'm not interested in breadcrumbs -- The best way to deal with breadcrumbs is to not eat them . . .
keiji Posted March 28, 2017 Posted March 28, 2017 I appreciate the advice. I am still into my ex. Problem is, we still see each other when in groups. She's friendly but is determined to friend zone me. She complains that she has to cold shoulder me because I'm still a flirt and sending signals that I want more than a friendship. I'm not about being her friend. She liked me in the first place because I pushed her away and was [a jerk]. Then she got me and I treated her well. I have no problem treating her [poorly] if that's what she wants. I want a relationship. She wants friendship. At the very least, I'm compromising with make-up sex. No friendship here. It doesn't sound like you're that much into her if you're accepting casual sex from someone you want a relationship with. Sounds more like an ego bruise to me, so I think you should set your sights on someone else for your purposes, particularly when she's told you she's not interested anymore, and just be cordial when you see your ex.
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