Relationships without love?

[The Next Big Thing]

Nowadays the relationships are of course much different than they were generations ago. People are different. But how much is it different?

To be more exact, I want to know your opinion on one thing: do you think there are relationships without love? (I am talking about relationships between people in their early twenties let´s say)

I am 23 years old, I have never been in a relationship or intimate with a girl, so I don´t know how it works in a relationship really. That´s why I want to know your opinion.

One friend told me that he thinks many girls have boyfriends "just because". Maybe a girl is not all that crazy about her boyfriend at first, but he was the only one who made a step forward lets say. Or maybe she just wanted relationship to have sex. Or just not to be alone. And therefore was not that picky about her partner.

This friend thinks that many girls in relationships are looking for something better (unless they are REALLY in love with their boyfriend).

 

Now let me say, that I know couples who are really in love and these girls have eyes only for her partner. You can see that it is love actually. When I talk with these girls, usually they are really "unapproachable", if you know what I mean. Their heart belongs to someone else clearly.

But then there are girls who are in relationships also but they don´t seem like they think about their partner all day long. I know several girls like that and when I meet them they are really communicative, when we meet at university they always stop by me, always want to talk with me even when there is nothing to talk about, so we just look at each other or talk about various things and laugh, very strong eye contact..I feel like they have time just for me.

And it feels kind of weird because they have boyfriends, but they behave completely different than the other type of girls I mentioned sooner. Maybe they like their boyfriend, but don´t neccessarily love him? Maybe they are looking for something better as my friend said? He says to use this chance when the girl is allowing you to flirt with her because that means even though she is in a relationship with her boyfriend, she is not really "his".

 

 

 

So how its possible? I know guys who are in relationships and they are there just for their girlfriends but I know guys who look at other women. One friend talking about how he wants to f.ck this and that girl etc...but he has amazing girlfriend. Another friend looking interested in other girls when alone but he has a perfect girlfriend and they seem really cute together. Another friend was checking out one girl and saying she has nice ass but he has girlfriend too. Don´t they really love their girlfriends or what?

 

Same with girls. Do you think there is such a thing as being in a relationship "just because" , without love, and still "waiting" for somebody better , "looking for something better" ?? Because that is what this friend told me and it made me think about the girls I know and how they behave with me even though they have boyfriends.

[Shanex]

It would be called keeping the options open but quite frankly I don't know many people from either gender who settle for that only because society think it's best to be coupled up.

 

Rather be single than with someone you don't respect, this goes for men and women.

[The Next Big Thing]

So if a girl keeps her options open it means she doesnt really love her partner?

[basil67]

So if a girl keeps her options open it means she doesnt really love her partner?

 

Yes. And likewise for a guy who keeps his options open.

[basil67]

Another thought - how long have the couples been in the relationships? Love in a relationship doesn't happen instantaneously. First there are things like fondness and infatuation before love comes along.

[somanymistakes]

Wait, anyone who doesn't think about nothing but their partner, day in day out, and deigns to speak to other people... feels no love at all and is planning to cheat, in your eyes?

 

Because while there are people who are in relationships without really loving their partner, or who would trade up if a better thing came along, it sounds like you're being weirdly over-judgy to me. As you say, you don't really understand how relationships work.

 

Please, please, please do not assume that just because a girl with a boyfriend is polite to you that she is really still on the market and wants you to hit on her. This is creep territory and may get you labeled as a sexual predator.

[The Next Big Thing]

Wait, anyone who doesn't think about nothing but their partner, day in day out, and deigns to speak to other people... feels no love at all and is planning to cheat, in your eyes?

 

Because while there are people who are in relationships without really loving their partner, or who would trade up if a better thing came along, it sounds like you're being weirdly over-judgy to me. As you say, you don't really understand how relationships work.

 

Please, please, please do not assume that just because a girl with a boyfriend is polite to you that she is really still on the market and wants you to hit on her. This is creep territory and may get you labeled as a sexual predator.

 

Thank you. All I wrote was just the philosophy of my friend. Honestly, I dont think it is right to mess with a girl in a relationship.

But can you elaborate briefly how a relationship wroks then? (since I dont understand)

[Chilli]

So if a girl keeps her options open it means she doesnt really love her partner?

 

Of course. lf you really love your partner your not still looking are you.

[Filip83]

I know guys who are in relationships and they are there just for their girlfriends but I know guys who look at other women

I think the problem is that u can't understand how u like to behave towards women. There can be various relationship patterns.

To my mind you need to break it bad, going wild with girls. Why?

This will let u reflect on this less but live ur life instead of thinking over too much and this is a real man's behaviour.

Go in for some boxing, wrestling as this also raises ur manhood spirit.

I am writing this for ur good cause you appear to be a bit

unconfident which is devastating for a young( I might be wrong though)

Cheers!

[todreaminblue]

i know people behave differently for different reasons nature nurture values goals etc...and i cant say anything about them ......all i know is how i am...and that is if i am with a guy i am his and he is mine...hopefully he is mine......i don't like my relationships any other way.....i like to focus the best of me in the relationship and bring out the best in him ...so i can be intense...but...thats me....and i am protective of my relationship..ill notice a good looking guy...like i would notice stunning women....my idea of stunning is probably not the conventional ideal i look for different things ...i find beauty ....in nearly all.........i hear different things adn a way a guy speaks is actually really important to me...............im creatively minded...... the best guy for me however....is the one i have who feels the same for me who puts up with me......no other guy comes close.....deb

Edited March 29, 2017 by todreaminblue

[springblossoms]

I'd have to say, that the dynamics of relationships today (in general) have changed, in comparison to "way back when".

 

I'm an old school believer when it comes to any kind of relationship.

 

Today, in the modern world, very few hold old school relationship values.

Things are very lax (anything goes).

 

I think you would really have to be slow and patient and keep your eyes wide open in this day and age, when it comes to relationships and finding love.

Don't be too quick to jump in, or assume anything.

[The Next Big Thing]

I'd have to say, that the dynamics of relationships today (in general) have changed, in comparison to "way back when".

 

I'm an old school believer when it comes to any kind of relationship.

 

Today, in the modern world, very few hold old school relationship values.

Things are very lax (anything goes).

 

I think you would really have to be slow and patient and keep your eyes wide open in this day and age, when it comes to relationships and finding love.

Don't be too quick to jump in, or assume anything.

 

Thanks a lot!

[Chilli]

I'd have to say, that the dynamics of relationships today (in general) have changed, in comparison to "way back when".

 

I'm an old school believer when it comes to any kind of relationship.

 

Today, in the modern world, very few hold old school relationship values.

Things are very lax (anything goes).

 

I think you would really have to be slow and patient and keep your eyes wide open in this day and age, when it comes to relationships and finding love.

Don't be too quick to jump in, or assume anything.

 

 

Yeah damn true for the general.

l was married 20 yrs and when we split and even to now , even when l read through love shack.

l couldn't believe what the singles world and views, attitudes had become, still can't..

Soooooo fkd up , it's mind boggling and very often sickening.

No thanks, l'll always be old school in this department.

[springblossoms]

Yes. I'm in my mid forties and married.

If that ends and I had to do it all again I would seriously stay single.

 

I've always been a straight shooter with solid values.

Don't have patience for guessing games and drama.

 

If someone lacks integrity in any way, I'm gone!