JayMT Posted March 24, 2017 Posted March 24, 2017 My ex and I broke up a couple of months ago. During the course of the breakup I made it clear that I wanted distance and space. However, my ex kept trying to prevent me from doing this. She offered to lend me things, tried to make other plans, etc. I tried to deflect these offers as tactfully as possible. In the following months I have done everything I can to maintain NC. But my ex kept making attempts to talk and see me. She sent me the random "how are you text". She also started showing up to weekly events that we used to attend together (but that she had only ever gone to without me once or twice). The first time she showed up she came to my table several times but did not talk to me until the end of the night. At that point, she waited around for some time and then finally walked up to say good night. Today, out of nowhere, I get a text from her saying that she found an item in her car and wondered if it was mine. This is not, by any means, a high priced or emotionally valuable item. In fact, if she had just thrown it out I would not have held it against her (I probably would have without a second thought). As it had been over 2 months of NC I thought it was safe to break radio silence. I kept the conversation short and kept it strictly on topic. Why as I wrong to do so? Any insight on what she may be thinking? Is this just an innocent inquiry or another attempt to see if Im still on the hook, so to speak? Thanks for any comments.
staggerlee71 Posted March 24, 2017 Posted March 24, 2017 do yourself a favor. Ask her why she wants to maintain contact if she wanted out of the relationship. Does she want you back or to be friends? Then, act according to what you want. This can anxiety can be over with tonight. Let us know how it went I'm being very serious 1
PegNosePete Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Why as I wrong to do so? Look there is no "right" or "wrong" here. The only question you should be asking is, did this interaction help me or hinder me? And judging from the fact that you're twisting yourself into knots trying to analyse her actions and words and motivations and making forum posts asking what she's doing... it did a lot more harm than good. Next time I would advise you to IGNORE her totally. You're not ready for short on topic conversations yet, judging by the fact that you're here asking about it. The day you can have a short conversation and carry on with your day like water off a duck's back... then you are ready for it. Until that day, maintain NC, for your own good.
Marc878 Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 This is your fault. If you wanted space you'd have blocked her. It's your phone, etc. You're NC only if you want to be.
breadbin Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 She probably wants you back if you ask me. You might not have said it clearly enough that you are not interested or she might have taken your replies up wrong. If you don't want her in your life don't reply.
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