GF and Happy Hour

[swyzr404x]

Girlfriend texted me to say she was going to happy hour with some work friends.

I reply - have fun.

At 9:00 pm I get a text to come join them.

Well, I'm on stand-by for work and don't feel like getting dressed to go out at 9:00 pm on a work night. And I figured it would be over soon anyway.

At 10:00 pm I get a text - they are all going to her house for a nightcap.

I wasn't invited and didn't respond. This seemed out of character for her, she is a terrorist about her sleep and bedtime.

 

She lives a block away.

Drive by on my way home from work @ 12:40 am and a couple lights are on.

Something didn't seem right.

 

Head home and sent her an text. I ask her to text me in the morning and let me know what time the guys left.

I was fishing for an answer like - "oh everyone left at 1:00 am or Julie and Ron sure got wasted," etc. Hoping for something to put my mind at ease.

She calls me back at 4:10 am and is hammered, leaves VM and says "what are you talking about, there are no guys here".

 

Well, the truth comes out - she met 2 younger guys (that no longer work with her) for happy hour.

Then, she asks them to come to her place. They bring more alcohol.

She says they left at 1:30 am. But she called me back at 4:10 am.

 

I guess my question is - What had to be said or done at her place, that couldn't have been done at the restaurant?

This is someone that will make sure I'm gone by 9:30 if I'm not sleeping over.

But she invited other men over at 10:00 pm.

 

Remember -

I wasn't invited (the 9:00 invite is hollow, she knew I wouldn't go).

She didn't say where she was going.

She didn't say who she was meeting.

 

When I let her know this bummed me out, she got aggressive and blamed me for not trusting her.

 

So the Happy Hour ended up being 7-8 hours.

BTW we are both 54 yrs old.

 

 

Thoughts ?

[preraph]

I guess she figured you didn't want to go since you declined the earlier invitation or that she knew you couldn't. I mean you did say you worked until midnight, right?

 

But yes, I see your concern her bringing guys over to her house. Were these work guys or not? I mean it is true some companies really do have happy hours regularly and maybe some after hours socializing at someone's house, so anything is possible, but I see your concern.

 

Have you definitely has the "we are exclusive" agreement or any further commitment? If you haven't talked about that but were just assuming, time to talk about it. If you're not exclusive, then she's feeling free to roam. Have a talk about your future and whether you two are exclusive or not. If she thinks you are, then ask her, then how do you justify having single men over to your house late at night?

[swyzr404x]

We have had the exclusive talk.

I'm ok with the happy hour and even meeting men you work with for happy hour.

But I've got a problem asking them to continue the happy hour at your house.