wxboilermaker Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 About two years ago I met this girl on a hiking trip. Unfortunatly she lived 1000 miles away from me. Through talking on line and over the phone, we became really good friends and then REALLY good friends. The complication was, she had a boyfriend. Not being the kind of guy to try and pull her away, especially with the distance thing, I backed off. We both confessed to each other out feelings, but because of the situation didn't pursue them. Then in march, something happened. I met a wonderfull girl and what started off as casual dating soon turned into full fledged romance. She's absolutly devoted to me and I love her to death. We've even discussed her moving with me when I move away to go to school. The problem is suddenly this other girl who i have never lost feelings for breaks up with her boyfriend and reveals to me that she still feels the same about me. I still have really strong feelings for this first girl and feel that seeing how good of friends we are right now, that we could have an amazing relationship. I've been waiting for this oppertunity for 2 years. The connection we have is phenominal. I think better then with the other girl. The problem is I really love this other girl and it's hard to imagine my life without her. I really like both girls and really don't know what to do. She managed to coax some of this info out of me and was obviously hurt. More like devestated. She told me she needed time to think and that she'd call me after work. About an hour ago she called me to tell me she was alright, but she had something to say i probably wouldn't want to hear. I have no Idea what to do, think or feel right now.
katty Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 What is it with you men? I mean really, I am sorry but I can't help but get angry when I read things like The problem is I really love this other girl and it's hard to imagine my life without her. Have you ever thought that the first girl may have found you more interesting after you were taken. I hate to admit this but there is girls out there that do just that, but after she gets you away from the new gf she will then again lose interest. I feel sorry for your present gf bc she has invested her love, plans, etc. on a guy that is claiming to do the same but is thinking about dumping her for someone that lives 1000s of miles away. Has the distance changed? At least with your current gf you know you get along, etc. I guess it is another case of the grass looks greener on the other side. Be careful you are liable to lose both. Sorry if this sounds too harsh, I am just giving my honest opinion.
centered Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 I agree with katty on this. You are gushing about your girlfriend -- full fledged romance. She's absolutly devoted to me and I love her to death. We've even discussed her moving with me when I move away to go to school. -- but suddenly all that goes out the window when somene you had an emotional (maybe physical?) affair with is now available. we became really good friends and then REALLY good friends. The complication was, she had a boyfriend. Consider that having the affair may have added zest to the fantasy romance with woman #1. The way you described it, you didn't even have a real relationship with her as she was 1000 miles away and the girlfriend of someone else. And yet you *do* have a real relationship with someone now -- a lovely, real-life living breathing woman who is (was?) absolutely devoted to you, and you to her. (Enough to want to move in together!) You need to dig deep, figure out why you had an affair in the first place, and address that quirk about your personality. Otherwise, you'll never be able to sustain a committed relationship with any degree of genuine love and contentment. Meanwhile, let both of these women go -- the first has issues to deal with before she can be trusted and the second deserves a better boyfriend who is really *there* and *present* in the relationship.
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