avvril3000 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 My ex, a narcissist (which can i say, was a toxic person in my life during our relationship a while ago) continues to email me and try to contact me and try to get attention from me every 2-3 months, when i'm well into a new (and wonderful) relationship. My ex knows i'm in a relationship (we work in the same industry, so we have mutual friends/colleagues/etc) yet he still does it and doesnt respect the fact that i've moved on. about a year ago, i stopped responding to his msgs because me being polite and turning him down each time just wasn't working for him to stop. I thought the silent treatment would make him stop, but even after a year of not responding, i will get an email or a text or a social media msg from him telling me about his life (LIKE I GIVE A SH... !). I have tried blocking him so i dont get his texts but theres other ways, he sends msgs to me, on all sorts of social media things. We've been broken up for nearly 3 years now, i'm with someone else now and happy, why is he continuing to do this? its crazy to me. And how can i get him to actually stop and realize that i dont want to talk to him, i want nothing to do with him, and i certainly do not want to get back with him or be friends or whatever it is he is seeking. ps. he was the one who broke up with me in our past relationship.
magnesium Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 He is a narcissist, like you said. He doesn't have the awareness to realise how he is coming off. His brain is wired differently from that of a normal human being. Don't bother being polite in any way. Everything he is doing is an attempt to gain control. Block him everywhere, and if you can't avoid him, use the 'gray rock' method when interacting with him. 'Gray rock' is exactly as it sounds...you act as interesting (or as boring) as a rock, show no emotion, use one word responses and then back to ignoring him, etc. There is no need to avoid certain places where he is either, just do your thing, and do it with confidence. Once the narc realises you can blow him off without a care in the world, his fragile ego will be destroyed. Just remember you can't deal with him like a normal person. It is a waste of time, and anything he says will be a manipulation tactic anyway.
preraph Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Narcissists place what every little petty thing they want over your deepest emotion and have little conscience about that, so about all you can do is block to keep the person out of your life.
Alpha_Male Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Block him, and never respond to his any future text
hindsight2021 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Block him. Plain and simple. Dissapear. 3 years and still trying to contact you to tell you about his life? This guy has a majorly wounded self. Why haven't you blocked him yet? Maybe worth looking into in yourself, maybe not. Either way, cut this guy out. 3 years of this is almost..... I don't know. Just creepy and unhealthy man.
Author avvril3000 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Posted March 23, 2017 Block him. Plain and simple. Dissapear. 3 years and still trying to contact you to tell you about his life? This guy has a majorly wounded self. Why haven't you blocked him yet? Maybe worth looking into in yourself, maybe not. Either way, cut this guy out. 3 years of this is almost..... I don't know. Just creepy and unhealthy man. Im a bit scared of him. Over time, ive come up with more confidence which is why i started not responding to his msgs. And then ive recently blocked his texts and email. He gets so mad and he is a major high up person in my industry, small industry and i worry that his anger over me may turn ugly and he will say **** about me within the industry. his word goes a long way. i dont know, i shouldnt be so scared. but i am a bit. he treated me so badly, so why would he stop now just because we're not together anymore?
magnesium Posted March 23, 2017 Posted March 23, 2017 Im a bit scared of him. Over time, ive come up with more confidence which is why i started not responding to his msgs. And then ive recently blocked his texts and email. He gets so mad and he is a major high up person in my industry, small industry and i worry that his anger over me may turn ugly and he will say **** about me within the industry. his word goes a long way. i dont know, i shouldnt be so scared. but i am a bit. he treated me so badly, so why would he stop now just because we're not together anymore? I understand this guy is someone important in your industry, but the THREAT of him harming you via gossip is ruining your present moment. You do not deserve that, and you can't control his actions. The FEAR of him doing something, which he actually hasn't done yet, is giving you anxiety. You have to stand up for yourself. Block him, and Gray rock him, like I mentioned before. If you must, keep records of everything he does. It may prove useful later on if things get ugly. Do not confront him ever about anything, as that won't work.
Rockdad Posted March 23, 2017 Posted March 23, 2017 My wife's narcissistic ex of 19 yrs now still does things to remind her and me he is still around and not happy she got the courage to walk out on him and is happily married to me. He has an explosive temper and still tries to put the fear of god in me face to face when I run into him. We ignore him totally no matter what he says or does. We will not give him power by being intimidated or fearful. Block your ex every way you can and don't acknowledge him.
Steffi Posted March 23, 2017 Posted March 23, 2017 This is a difficult situation and like all difficult situations I've found my self in I've tried to change them. Blocking him every which way will be the only solution (unless he has a mental transplant). This blocking could extend to finding another job. I know it's a big step but how bad do you really feel about all this. I would make all efforts to improve myself and get a new job to end this threat.
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