ML Hammer95 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 I'm not getting a good feeling about this girl I am going on a date with this week. Matched through Tinder on Friday, got talking and arranged to go out for drinks during the middle of the next week. Conversation was good, quite flirty and once we had finalised the day/time of the date we stopped talking - don't want to rinse the conversation before meeting in person. So, I text her the day before asking if we're still on for the date. Her replies included 'I thought you had forgot about me', 'why haven't you messaged me' and 'thought you weren't interested'. There were only two days where I didn't message her and she seemed off and moody after. Seems to be a bit of insecurity or clinginess but my mate said you should have kept texting her so I may be wrong. This seems a red flag to me because my ex (who ended up being emotionally abusive towards me) acted very similarly when we first started talking. I mistook that intensity for interest when alarm bells should have been ringing. I remember she thought I didn't trust her because I said 'Loyal' was my favourite Chris Brown song! And this was before we met and got properly close. Don't want to make the same mistake, or am I just projecting my experience from my ex onto this new girl. Or just being crazy?!
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 I'm not getting a good feeling about this girl I am going on a date with this week. Matched through Tinder on Friday, got talking and arranged to go out for drinks during the middle of the next week. Conversation was good, quite flirty and once we had finalised the day/time of the date we stopped talking - don't want to rinse the conversation before meeting in person. So, I text her the day before asking if we're still on for the date. Her replies included 'I thought you had forgot about me', 'why haven't you messaged me' and 'thought you weren't interested'. There were only two days where I didn't message her and she seemed off and moody after. Seems to be a bit of insecurity or clinginess but my mate said you should have kept texting her so I may be wrong. This seems a red flag to me because my ex (who ended up being emotionally abusive towards me) acted very similarly when we first started talking. I mistook that intensity for interest when alarm bells should have been ringing. I remember she thought I didn't trust her because I said 'Loyal' was my favourite Chris Brown song! And this was before we met and got properly close. Don't want to make the same mistake, or am I just projecting my experience from my ex onto this new girl. Or just being crazy?! Right now, so early, you are projecting. Go on the date and work from there. It should be noted that some people do expect communication up until the date. Not much, but total quiet does make some people wonder. Good luck. 4
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 If you communicated regularly before arranging the date, then why stop? Change in behavior raises alarm bells. In early stages most (not all) women expect the guy to do most of the pursuing. You thread is one of many we see with the same issue......it's like a Mexican stand off...who should initiate the text first lol. 8
Author ML Hammer95 Posted March 22, 2017 Author Posted March 22, 2017 If you communicated regularly before arranging the date, then why stop? Change in behavior raises alarm bells. In early stages most (not all) women expect the guy to do most of the pursuing. You thread is one of many we see with the same issue......it's like a Mexican stand off...who should initiate the text first lol. Well not really. We had conversations on Friday and Saturday in which we arranged to meet and then I messaged Tuesday to touch base/confirm? So I don't think I'm unreasonable and acting uninterested considering this is a girl I have just met. If I wasn't interested I wouldn't have arranged to meet up anyway.
DontBreakEven Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 I disagree Hammer. I talk to my online date every day up until meeting. It only ramps upwards. It's weird that you just stopped talking to her. If I were her I would be confused too 2
fromheart Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Yes she's insecure. Having also had an abusive ex, these are indeed the signs.
hippychick3 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Well, I have never been abusive in any way to a man. And I would have felt exactly how she felt if the communication had come to a sudden halt after a few days of talking. A simple "good morning" or "how was your day?" or "looking forward to our date" would have sufficed and taken less than 30 seconds of your time to write.
Ieris Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 @ML Hammer95 ~ You don't text her for 2 days and she thinks you've lost interest? Some people just over think and over analyse, she could have messaged you. 1
frigginlost Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 @ML Hammer95 ~ You don't text her for 2 days and she thinks you've lost interest? Some people just over think and over analyse, she could have messaged you. This is Tinder! Tinder is *known* as a hook-up app. You can bet her radar was up regarding him. To go ghost for two days after conversing up til that point would raise a flag that he might be looking for just a hook-up. Notice *she* brought up the loss of interest question? She's cluing you in... I have a date this Friday with a girl I've been conversing with for the last week and I'm talking with her daily. Stop the f'ing games. If you want to text her, text her. Don't hold off because you don't want to "rinse the conversation". What the hell kind of excuse is that anyway?? If you two click face to face, there is going to be a ton to talk about...
Author ML Hammer95 Posted March 22, 2017 Author Posted March 22, 2017 Well spoke to her today and re-arranged the date for Friday so all calm! I'll see how the date goes, but after the experiences with my ex any red flags are going to be heightened!
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