Am I The One Wrong

[grik]

I hadn't spoken to my ldr gf for about 5days and I alwys worry when she goes queit and things play in my head eg maybe someone is giving her attention things like that.

 

Yesterday she texted me finally saying work had been hectic and she hopes I dont think shes neglecting me and I replied I've been worried uknw me and she never replied after.

 

What bugged me was she wasnt at work it was her off day and was online the whole time but never spoke to me afterwards.i sent her a message says maybe u really are avoiding me because you off and have been online but you dont even try talk to me I gues im not as important anymore and she replied in the morning saying she doesnt have the strength to deal with this I should believe what I want.

 

I feel maybe I should apologize but dont I deserve to know whats going cause I feel something is wrong or maybe its insecurity talking

 

Any Advise

[smackie9]

LDRs lose their flavor when you can see each other physically.....the infatuation period is over, and yes it's possible someone else is giving her attention. You deserve honesty but when you don't get it, then you either put up with it or walk. There is no easy way.

[SevenCity]

"Believe what you want" is a glaring sign she has lost interest.

 

I would not talk to her ever again. If she reaches out you can decide what you want to do but stop all pursuit now unless you want to push her father away.

[kendahke]

I hadn't spoken to my ldr gf for about 5days and I alwys worry when she goes queit and things play in my head eg maybe someone is giving her attention things like that.

 

Yesterday she texted me finally saying work had been hectic and she hopes I dont think shes neglecting me and I replied I've been worried uknw me and she never replied after.

 

What bugged me was she wasnt at work it was her off day and was online the whole time but never spoke to me afterwards.i sent her a message says maybe u really are avoiding me because you off and have been online but you dont even try talk to me I gues im not as important anymore and she replied in the morning saying she doesnt have the strength to deal with this I should believe what I want.

 

I feel maybe I should apologize but dont I deserve to know whats going cause I feel something is wrong or maybe its insecurity talking

 

Any Advise

 

You need to figure out which of the two this is first before you say anything to her.

 

If you feel something is wrong, accusing her without proof is going to sink this faster than it's already sinking from not being in close proximity. Get your proof first, put it to her and then make the decision whether or not she's worth getting past it and moving on together.

 

If it's your insecurity talking, then you need to take some time to get a handle on your insecurity and perhaps not do LDRs.

 

Also, is she prone to cheating?

 

Was she with someone when you met her and she dumped him to be with you?

 

Is she a sketchy person to begin with? How well do you even know her? How long have you been dealing with her? How long have you had face to face interaction and how long has this LDR been taking place?

 

also, don't play fishing games with her. That's what that "I guess I'm not important enough to you..." comment was and she wasn't taking that bait.

 

Is this the position you always start from? The "poor me" stance? That can get old if you use it too much. It's manipulative.

Edited March 22, 2017 by kendahke

[DontBreakEven]

Wow no I don't think you are in the wrong at all. First off, 5 days is a ridiculously long amount of time and now she is just dismissing your feelings with the "believe what you want".

 

I would cease all communication until she comes to you. She's being weird.

[DontBreakEven]

Also, "doesn't have the strength to deal with this"? Eww. I can't stand when people that I'm involved with start trying to talk to me like I'm a bother suddenly. Eff that. Get mad and don't get insecure. Stay away.