Whodatdog Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 The term "wife material" can only be used by the person who is looking for a wife. You cant determine what is "wife material" because you arent looking for one. Number one, you have to find men who want to get married. Thats the first criteria. If you are having relationships with guys not that interested in marriage, it probably isnt going to happen. There are guys out there interest in marriage, and they will be looking for a girl to marry, "wife material". So its not up to you to determine what is wife material. Is marriage that important to you?
NTV Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 For me 'wife material' is 90% trustworthiness 3% ability to be reasonable 3% ability to get along with family and 3% abilities in bed. Actually it would be better said that untrustworthy is the number one screen out element and everything else is ranking factors. yes Physical attractiveness is may be what gets attention to begin with in some cases but never a factor used for the decision. Being financially independent helps too. Lots of factors. Men are seldom motivated solely by emotions. No emotion lasts forever. Just my 2 cents. Other dudes can probably say it better.
basil67 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Why did you break up with these long term guys? Did you ever discuss marriage? It might not be a case that you're not wife material or you are lacking something. Did you want to marry any of these guys? Were you just waiting with no mention? It might not have been a priority for them. Or they thought you weren't that bothered and neither were they. But you did break up with these people. That is much easier than a divorce. Something wasn't right or you wouldn't have broken up. Consider that a blessing. Yes, I was going to come back to this too. I was wondering if they were all 'husband material'
Chilli Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 (edited) Personally l think you attract long term relationships that's for sure. So it's only time now, even the next one. They just haven't been right yet that's all and too young so far, people get married later now. 2 or 3 long term bf or gf before the right one pops up is actually a pretty typical pattern. One pattern l notice in people that never get married though is most of them have trouble attracting or getting into long term relationships. If they even have one at all. They've usually had if any, all these short quickie things that go nowhere or fizzle in mths. Edited March 22, 2017 by Chilli
Jj66 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 There are lots of marriage-minded men out there. You need to find one. You are obviously LTR material which is the same as marriage material in my mind.
Fair Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 Well now THAT'S weird, considering all the studies stating men choose more attractive women to marry and less attractive women to have affairs with. Hmm. I suppose this all proves that whatever pool you choose from, how subjectively you rate attractiveness, what you assume is general attractiveness (in this case, they designated "more feminine" features as automatically the perceived beautiful ones and then went forward on that unproven assumption), you can get the results you're looking for. Either way, I know both beautiful and very very plain married women, and both beautiful and very very plain unmarried women. The majority of people either way, both male and female, fall somewhere in between. Now as the marriage, and time, go on, attractiveness can diminish, but that's going to happen to a percentage of people with age, illness, weight changes, stress and so on whether one has a ring on one's finger or not. However you slice it, sadly, I have noticed in 49+ years of observation now that the less attractive women are less likely to be either dating someone OR married, and the more attractive women are more likely to be snapped up...for flings, relationships, marriage or whatever. But MOST of us...married or not, are pretty much average, though often, beautiful in the eyes of our SO because our SO knows us in a three-dimensional way and loves all parts of us. That's pretty much universal too...again, just in my observation. Don't need studies, can see the truth of the article everywhere. Although there are scores of studies confirming it.
Author avvril3000 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Posted March 23, 2017 Personally l think you attract long term relationships that's for sure. So it's only time now, even the next one. They just haven't been right yet that's all and too young so far, people get married later now. 2 or 3 long term bf or gf before the right one pops up is actually a pretty typical pattern. One pattern l notice in people that never get married though is most of them have trouble attracting or getting into long term relationships. If they even have one at all. They've usually had if any, all these short quickie things that go nowhere or fizzle in mths. I hope you're right. I do want to get married one day, and i'm not going to feel bad for wanting that, however, i need to pick the perfect husband for me too and not get into a marriage with someone who isnt the best for me. and yeah those guys of the past were not "husband material". I guess i just wonder about myself. it's hard to gain perspective on yourself without asking others. I know i'm asking strangers here so maybe not the best peopleto ask but i was curious as to what changes a man's mind on just a cute girlfriend to "the one".
Author avvril3000 Posted March 23, 2017 Author Posted March 23, 2017 There are lots of marriage-minded men out there. You need to find one. You are obviously LTR material which is the same as marriage material in my mind. Thanks buddy! Appreciate your nice remark
Got it Posted March 23, 2017 Posted March 23, 2017 I hope you're right. I do want to get married one day, and i'm not going to feel bad for wanting that, however, i need to pick the perfect husband for me too and not get into a marriage with someone who isnt the best for me. and yeah those guys of the past were not "husband material". I guess i just wonder about myself. it's hard to gain perspective on yourself without asking others. I know i'm asking strangers here so maybe not the best peopleto ask but i was curious as to what changes a man's mind on just a cute girlfriend to "the one". I have been married twice. I would say that I have been pretty clear that my idea of dating is to lead to marriage and that there is some level of a timeline on it. I think it is fine to be upfront and not left wondering and you are allowed to bring it up. You have as much say in this process as the other person though both do have to ultimately agree on the pathway. I think switching your mindset of "are you good enough" to be selected as wife, is are they what you want in a husband? If they aren't then don't keep going in the relationship. There are no perfect husband candidates, but you find the person that meshes well with you, that actively shows that they love and respect you, and who meets you in the middle as much as possible; someone who is in the fight with you. And then you make a go at it. But stop waiting and take charge. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 23, 2017 Posted March 23, 2017 Don't need studies, can see the truth of the article everywhere. Although there are scores of studies confirming it. May we see some? I love studies.
SevenCity Posted March 23, 2017 Posted March 23, 2017 Yes, it makes a lot of sense to live together before marriage. After all you don't really know someone until you've lived with them 24/7 for a few months, at least. You know their bad habits, you know their laundry routine, you know what they're like when they're ill. All those things are unknowns until you live together. If that is after marriage, you could be in for a nasty shock. It's easier to break up and move out then it is to divorce. I agree with this. I want to see a woman acting like a wife before I make the offer. On the other hand, because it is easier to leave a RL over a marriage, people often take that easy route instead of sticking it out. I've read articles stating that is why older RLs lasted longer - divorce was taboo and people didn't move in together until they were within the confines or a marriage. Also, many people used to not move out of their parent's house until they were married. For me it's not about getting the milk for free - rather how this person acts in any situation. 2 years for me isn't enough to see how they are completely though
runningfan28 Posted March 23, 2017 Posted March 23, 2017 They weren't right for me long term. It would be interesting to look back over these relationships and seeing what made them not right for you in the long term, I think that'd also be a good way to work out what's right for you going forwards. I agree with a lot of the other people on this thread that it's less about you being wife material and more your partner being husband material, but also the you two together are marriage material for each other. I also agree about bringing up things like marriage early, I've made sure me and my partner both wanted the same things and have shared goals early on because I had a 5 year relationship that fell apart after we realised (too late) we wanted different things.
Fair Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) May we see some? I love studies. Why do u need me to dig them up? They're as close as your keyboard. Or go back and read the link I did post that I didn't have to look very hard to find. But wait, u already did, didn't you? You just want to ignore it because you're married and now you're insulted. Anyone with eyes can see this is true. Edited March 25, 2017 by Fair
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 Why do u need me to dig them up? They're as close as your keyboard. Or go back and read the link I did post that I didn't have to look very hard to find. But wait, u already did, didn't you? You just want to ignore it because you're married and now you're insulted. Anyone with eyes can see this is true. Beautiful women are much in demand and many, many get married. Men do not refuse to marry women because they are just too pretty. Single people aren't single because they just aren't unattractive enough. Anyone with eyes can see this is true. You don't need to be defensive just because you are unable to back up your claim. Just your opinion is okay to post, too, AFAIK.
SoleMate Posted March 25, 2017 Posted March 25, 2017 If you're willing and able to be a good wife, you're "wife material". I could put more detail around that, I suppose, but it's more important for you to be screening for "husband material". Some men want to be married, and it's useless to flaunt your wifely attributes in front of any man who doesn't.
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