caldwellb Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 I'm 26 and have recently found myself attracted to an older superior at work. He seems shy and awkward, but will present himself effectively when the need arises. He stares for afar, but will not speak in passing - i.e. "Good Morning". Could he potentially be interested, from the little information that I have given? I would like to get to know him, but I don't want to do anything dumb given that he holds a major title at our place of employment.
Kitchen Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 I'm 26 and have recently found myself attracted to an older superior at work. He seems shy and awkward, but will present himself effectively when the need arises. He stares for afar, but will not speak in passing - i.e. "Good Morning". Could he potentially be interested, from the little information that I have given? I would like to get to know him, but I don't want to do anything dumb given that he holds a major title at our place of employment. You're right, it's such little information that it can be anyone's guess. He might just be shy. He might be interested but knows he can't mess with the job. He might be interested and may be willing to make a move eventually if you give him clear signals. So (assuming it's okay with your work) just give him clear signals. Smile, make eye contact. As a guy, we need the signals in order to make a move or approach. If he's non-responsive to those, then most likely he's not interested or too afraid even if he is. Good luck!
act00 Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 The fact he doesn't share general pleasantries in the workplace is a bit bothersome. Staring and looking at you, if he can't even say "hello" or "good morning," really doesn't come across as good. The thing is, not only does he come across as socially awkward to you, he is also your superior. He may not want to cross that line, and he may even be behaving the exact opposite, because he is attracted to you, and he doesn't want to appear to be flirting or giving you extra attention. A simple, "good morning" does not announce "I want her," but he feels like everyone will know, so he shuts down in the opposite direction...does that make sense? You need to tread lightly here. Getting involved at work can be a slippery slope, and you don't want the reputation of "banging the boss," so I'd say just let sleeping dogs lie for now and see how things progress. Ask yourself, "If we date and it doesn't work out, how will this affect my professional life and reputation?." "Will I be able to work with this man who is a jerk?" "Can I handle it when he sees other women, and how will this affect my professional life and my interactions with this man in the work place?" Worse, will your reputation be soiled by coworkers, or this man who is bitter towards you when you break up with him? Will he make your job harder, criticize, gossip, treat you poorly because you're a b**, but as a boss, he'll just pick at every flaw? You get fired because of his bitterness towards you and bad reviews? Be careful.
girlinNYC Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 I'm 26 and have recently found myself attracted to an older superior at work. He seems shy and awkward, but will present himself effectively when the need arises. He stares for afar, but will not speak in passing - i.e. "Good Morning". Could he potentially be interested, from the little information that I have given? I would like to get to know him, but I don't want to do anything dumb given that he holds a major title at our place of employment. Guys mostly need signals to approach if they're going too. They are just as afraid of rejection as females (also an ego/pride thing for them too) Just smile subtly, make eye contact for a few seconds. Often that is enough of a cue to show him interest and an inviting demeanour. No guy will approach you if you're frosty looking, not saying you are but playing it safe like that can come across that way. Good luck!
Miss Spider Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 I think he thinks you're very nice to look at and is physically attracted to you..but that's as far as he wants to take it. And understandly so, given your situation. Just from reading these boards and others, women approaching 'the guy who looks but never makes a move' rarely leads anywhere. Do you know if he's single?
shrah25 Posted March 22, 2017 Posted March 22, 2017 I'm 26 and have recently found myself attracted to an older superior at work. He seems shy and awkward, but will present himself effectively when the need arises. He stares for afar, but will not speak in passing - i.e. "Good Morning". Could he potentially be interested, from the little information that I have given? I would like to get to know him, but I don't want to do anything dumb given that he holds a major title at our place of employment. I agree with the other comments - you want to be a little careful about how you approach the work situation. It can get very messy and lead to all sorts of complications down the line so you might want to double and triple check your approach on this one. For guys, rejection is incredibly painful. This is the very reason why so many guys hang with their mates and talk on and on about how many women they've been with etc. And as one of the other members stated, you need to give off some sort of cue that shows him you're interested. Or at least, make it a nice easy starting point for him to kick off a conversation - whether that's through a "hi" or "Hows your day going?" etc etc. Good luck!
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