SweetnSassy Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Hi everyone I'm new here. I need some help with my situation. About 6 months ago my ex broke up with me because we fought to much.We decide to stay best friends. We were together for almost 7 years.At first he didn't act like he liked me anymore but as time pasted he started to act like he liked me again. He even told me he wanted to get back together but not right now because he doesn't want a girlfriend at the moment. He has been talking to a girl online since we got together. I had a bad feeling about her from the start. He promised me he wouldn't start dating her if we broke up but now he is. They have been together for about a month. At first it bothered me but I got over it because they were just dating online. About a week ago I found out she is moving here in a year. I'm crushed.He didn't want to tell me beacuse he knew it would upset me.He says he hates hurting me like this all the time and I mean to the world to him and he couldn't live without me. He says he loves me more than anything in the world and he would be lost without me.I'm worried we won't get back together now since she is moving here.He says he wants to get back together but he can't. I don't know if he is scared to or if he is confused about what he wants. I'm scared when she moves here he will act different and won't have any time for me.He says that won't happen and nothing will change but I don't know.He said I should get a new boyfriend and rub it in his face so I can hurt him and make him jealous.I don't know if that would really hurt him and make him jealous or if it would make things easier on him.What should I do? Should I stay friends with him and wait for him to come back to me or should I move on? How come he want to be with me but can't? Will we ever get back together? If he hates hurting me so much then how can he do it?
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 I don't know if he is scared to or if he is confused about what he wants. There are things he likes about you enough to keep you in his life, and it is those things he is scared of losing. Not scared enough to actually dump his girlfriend and come back to you though. He isn't at all confused about what he wants. He wants to date this girl (and other girls when this new relationship fizzles), and keep you around on a limited basis in his life even though he doesn't want to actually be in a relationship with you. I expect the most confused person in this mess is you: you know that you are in a hopeless situation, and yet your heart just won't let go and you don't really know why. That is confusion. The choice is yours: stick with him, and put your love/life on hold so that he can continue to benefit from the meager needs he has for you while he dates other people, or say your goodbyes and begin to put your head and heart back together so that you can begin to look for someone who can truly return the love you have to give. You want revenge? Tell him that you can't continue to put yourself through this heartbreak, request 'no contact' and then move on. When you find a guy who treats you well, and loves you like you want and need to be loved - and you find that your ex has no appeal for you anymore, then that will be all the revenge you could possibly want. You will be happy, and he likely will be kicking himself in the ass a little too late over letting you go.
SummerRae Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia There are things he likes about you enough to keep you in his life, and it is those things he is scared of losing. Not scared enough to actually dump his girlfriend and come back to you though. He isn't at all confused about what he wants. He wants to date this girl (and other girls when this new relationship fizzles), and keep you around on a limited basis in his life even though he doesn't want to actually be in a relationship with you. I expect the most confused person in this mess is you: you know that you are in a hopeless situation, and yet your heart just won't let go and you don't really know why. That is confusion. The choice is yours: stick with him, and put your love/life on hold so that he can continue to benefit from the meager needs he has for you while he dates other people, or say your goodbyes and begin to put your head and heart back together so that you can begin to look for someone who can truly return the love you have to give. You want revenge? Tell him that you can't continue to put yourself through this heartbreak, request 'no contact' and then move on. When you find a guy who treats you well, and loves you like you want and need to be loved - and you find that your ex has no appeal for you anymore, then that will be all the revenge you could possibly want. You will be happy, and he likely will be kicking himself in the ass a little too late over letting you go. Word.
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