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Should I cancel on this guy?

Miss Spider

By Miss Spider
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curiouslysearching Established Member

curiouslysearching

Posted
Posted
Speak of the freaking devil

 

 

He just sent me a text

 

 

"Hey. Thanks for coming out last night. I really enjoyed meeting you. I was a little intimidated because my first reaction was, "oh damn she's really hot". Such a charmer I know! I'd like to see you again if you're up for it ��"

 

 

Sounds like a humblebrag but I'm really wtf with this guy. Wait a freaking DAY (pretty much to the hour) to text me? Is it just me or is that another huge strike? He says he works a lot/long hours but I bet his dating like 20 girls and he met me last night after a date and just remembered to text me lol

 

I'm so sick of being back burner/last thing on his mind even IF it's work. Seven city, you are so right. I should have never gone on a date with him after he did not firm plans the day of or tell me. Last time I'll ever do that..even if I have to waste time getting ready

 

And the "intimidated l" thing again. I'm glad I'm not the only person who couldn't forget that comment. Trying to stroke my ego....make me think he's awkward instead of just disinterested.

 

 

Should I just ghost. Or say sorry I don't think it's a good idea (should have done that yesterday) I'm sooooo tired of dating.

 

Thanks for saying my standards aren't too high, but it's so hard not to feel that way after so many disastrous dates

 

 

YOU ARE NOBODY'S afterthought or second string...you are FIRST STRING

and the best of the best....you truly need to absorb that and accept it

  • Like 2
curiouslysearching Established Member

curiouslysearching

Posted
Posted
Speak of the freaking devil

 

 

He just sent me a text

 

 

"Hey. Thanks for coming out last night. I really enjoyed meeting you. I was a little intimidated because my first reaction was, "oh damn she's really hot". Such a charmer I know! I'd like to see you again if you're up for it ��"

 

 

Sounds like a humblebrag but I'm really wtf with this guy. Wait a freaking DAY (pretty much to the hour) to text me? Is it just me or is that another huge strike? He says he works a lot/long hours but I bet his dating like 20 girls and he met me last night after a date and just remembered to text me lol

 

I'm so sick of being back burner/last thing on his mind even IF it's work. Seven city, you are so right. I should have never gone on a date with him after he did not firm plans the day of or tell me. Last time I'll ever do that..even if I have to waste time getting ready

 

And the "intimidated l" thing again. I'm glad I'm not the only person who couldn't forget that comment. Trying to stroke my ego....make me think he's awkward instead of just disinterested.

 

 

Should I just ghost. Or say sorry I don't think it's a good idea (should have done that yesterday) I'm sooooo tired of dating.

 

Thanks for saying my standards aren't too high, but it's so hard not to feel that way after so many disastrous dates

 

 

You are nobody's "back burner", second date, or second string.....you are

FIRST STRING and as good as it gets...please accept that and absorb it

  • Like 1
KBob Established Member

KBob

Posted
Posted

He sounds clueless. He couldn't take the hint that you wanted to leave? My opinion is this guy has no idea what he's doing. He's most likely trying too hard not too try to hard, if that makes sense. The whole not texting you for a day, almost to the minute, tells me that he's following some kind of awkward advice that was given to him by someone that doesn't know how to date. If he's dating 20 other women, he's not being successful with it. Don't worry about being placed first right off the bat, you almost have to numb yourself to it on OLD, because even if someone is really into you, they tend to keep playing the game until the "one month" or whatever societal waiting period is filled.

 

Keep trucking girl!!

  • Like 1
act00 Established Member

act00

Posted
Posted

I don't know if I have my people straight on the board, but I think it's you that has a laundry list of what the "perfect man" is, so you're pretty much setting up yourself for disappointment at every turn.

 

This guy, meh, he really didn't put out the best first impression, or second for that matter, so consider this a wash, but by the time you met him, and throughout the evening, you seem to have ticker-taped his every flaw. If you made the decision to go out with him, at least put in the effort to see if this is something that could work out, or just enjoy the evening, despite the bad set of circumstances that ultimately got you two in the same place at the same time.

 

You could have said, "Sorry, it's too late to go out now." You could have said, "Thank you for a nice evening. I need to get home now" and gave him a dollar to cover your tea as you leave.

 

Tell him you had a nice time, but it's just not going to work out. After that, don't engage.

  • Like 2
CaliforniaGirl Established Member

CaliforniaGirl

Posted
Posted

Oh, geez, Cookie....why not give this guy a chance? :( Maybe he really was nervous.

  • Like 2
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted

She doesn't seem like she was at all attracted to him.

  • Like 2
TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted

I even said "so you wanna...go?" And he said "go where??" I meant like go home and he said no he doesn't so we stayed until the place closed.

 

I laughed at this:lmao:

 

Because if you suggested his or your place it would've been, "check please!"

 

:D

  • Like 1
TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted
Oh, geez, Cookie....why not give this guy a chance? :( Maybe he really was nervous.

 

How could you suggest this Caligirl? Read the thread how it all went from the beginning.

 

I would have never met and NEXT

  • Like 3
CaliforniaGirl Established Member

CaliforniaGirl

Posted
Posted (edited)
How could you suggest this Caligirl? Read the thread how it all went from the beginning.

 

I would have never met and NEXT

 

Only because (sorry Cookie) Cookie seems to be so hyper-judgmental and put up so many stumbling blocks.

 

It [just] makes me wonder, that's all.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Typo []
  • Like 1
DontBreakEven Established Member

DontBreakEven

Posted
Posted

 

I feel like I'll never find anyone I click with, that I find attractive. It makes me sad, but I'm just exhausted with the whole dating process after 1 "date" in months.

 

 

Maybe my standards are just too high.

 

Hopeless.

 

Ugh. Sounds straight out of my diary. :( Or, when I do find that, they are abusive or emotionally unavailable or something equally as red-flaggy.

 

I'm exhausted too

  • Like 2
bluefeather Established Member

bluefeather

Posted
Posted
Maybe my standards are just too high.

 

You went out with him. I think your standards are too low. Maybe you have low standards for yourself, as well. He seemed like a lousy date, but you were being crabby about this guy before the date even started.

 

Be a good person. Look for good people.

  • Like 3
Arieswoman Established Member

Arieswoman

Posted
Posted

He's clueless and/or just plain rude.

 

You weren't attracted to him anyway, so just let it go.

 

OLD is fraught with flakes, nutjobs, losers and players. Keep going but keep your eyes and ears open. :)

  • Like 2
curiouslysearching Established Member

curiouslysearching

Posted
Posted
You went out with him. I think your standards are too low. Maybe you have low standards for yourself, as well. He seemed like a lousy date, but you were being crabby about this guy before the date even started.

 

Be a good person. Look for good people.

 

I have not read anything that even remotely depicts Cookie's standards

as LOW. On the contrary, I would venture to say that she her standards

are HIGH and rightfully so. There is simply no reason for a woman like

her to SETTLE for anything less than a TOP NOTCH guy. I do not believe

being "weary" or "skeptical" denotes being CRABBY.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I have not read anything that even remotely depicts Cookie's standards

as LOW. On the contrary, I would venture to say that she her standards

are HIGH and rightfully so. There is simply no reason for a woman like

her to SETTLE for anything less than a TOP NOTCH guy. I do not believe

being "weary" or "skeptical" denotes being CRABBY.

 

 

Tysm, curiously ! You are so kind to me.

Thx everyone. I appreciate it.

  • Like 2
bluefeather Established Member

bluefeather

Posted
Posted
I have not read anything that even remotely depicts Cookie's standards

as LOW.

 

Well that's your fault. Learn to read between the lines.

 

he should be doing anything possible to make things easy for you. He is not yet clued into the FACT that

he is the fortunate one (to be able to spend time with a woman like you).

 

You sound like one of those overly nice guys. Doing anything possible to make things easy?? How do you know it is a "FACT" that he is "the fortunate one?" It's like I can almost see the pedestal you're trying to build for Cookies. So much cringe...

  • Like 5
curiouslysearching Established Member

curiouslysearching

Posted
Posted
Well that's your fault. Learn to read between the lines.

 

 

 

You sound like one of those overly nice guys. Doing anything possible to make things easy?? How do you know it is a "FACT" that he is "the fortunate one?" It's like I can almost see the pedestal you're trying to build for Cookies. So much cringe...

 

Not sure when being nice and polite became such a bad thing but OK....Maybe, I should have used another word instead of FACT but she really does seem like

a nice lady. Honestly, I would BET that she really is a wonderful woman inside and out. So, let's agree to disagree......COOKIE YOU ROCK

  • Like 1
Purepony Established Member

Purepony

Posted
Posted

Hahaha

 

I disagree if you have one date in several months somethings up and I'm going to Guess she bases it on looks

  • Like 1
Kamille Established Member

Kamille

Posted
Posted

I'm surprised you would even consider going on a second date with him. You weren't feeling it on the date itself. Why worry be concerned with how long it took him to get in touch with you.

 

Get in touch with how you feel and respect your instincts. Who cares if this guy is into you? You're not into him.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Hahaha

 

I disagree if you have one date in several months somethings up and I'm going to Guess she bases it on looks

 

I just liken the dating process in general to sticking needles in my eyes so choose not to participate in it often. I find it a little uncomfortable.

 

I base in part on looks. You date women you're unattracted to often?

 

I think part of me liked that this guy didn't make firm plans because it gave me an out until the very last minute too(which I should have taken) ....

  • Author
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm surprised you would even consider going on a second date with him. You weren't feeling it on the date itself. Why worry be concerned with how long it took him to get in touch with you.

 

Get in touch with how you feel and respect your instincts. Who cares if this guy is into you? You're not into him.

 

That's true. I guess I felt like maybe I screwed up somehow, so he didn't like me. And now I'm wondering how I can end this without ghosting(because I've read that ghosting hurts people a lot more than a verbal rejection) I don't see the point in seeing each other again if we aren't into each other

olivetree Established Member

olivetree

Posted
Posted
That's true. I guess I felt like maybe I screwed up somehow, so he didn't like me. And now I'm wondering how I can end this without ghosting(because I've read that ghosting hurts people a lot more than a verbal rejection) I don't see the point in seeing each other again if we aren't into each other

 

If I go out with a guy and he isn't picking up on my hints that I'm not interested, then I will come out and say, "hey, I enjoyed meeting you but I don't think we're a match".

 

Guys usually appreciate that.

  • Like 2
Purepony Established Member

Purepony

Posted
Posted

I gate women I find interesting

Of course there's some compromises I can live with for example... I'm seeing a girl who is great but features wise not my typ but we always have a great time and she's very sharp

 

If it's a compromise I can manage I think I am okay

  • Like 1
  • Author
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
  • Author
Posted
If I go out with a guy and he isn't picking up on my hints that I'm not interested, then I will come out and say, "hey, I enjoyed meeting you but I don't think we're a match".

 

Guys usually appreciate that.

 

Thanks..thing is I got in even deeper last night because I sent him a text back saying " haha thanks for the sweet words. I didn't notice. I had a nice time too:)"I just couldn't bring myself to say it after the nice words. Now he's texted me twice so far today..one a question and another a link to a song from a band we talked about. I think this evening I'm going to write exactly this.

"Hey. I enjoyed meeting you but I don't think we're a match"

Gah it's gonna be hard but we all meet ppl who aren't feeling it with us...I doubt he'll be that bothered by it. It's just hard for me for some reason.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I gate women I find interesting

Of course there's some compromises I can live with for example... I'm seeing a girl who is great but features wise not my typ but we always have a great time and she's very sharp

 

If it's a compromise I can manage I think I am okay

 

 

 

I see. Well, I can only see myself potentially romantically kiss, make love with someone I am physically attracted to in some way. I can't do it with someone I am physically turned off by. I admire your ability to do this, though.

 

 

I guess it's a personal weakness of mine.

olivetree Established Member

olivetree

Posted
Posted
Thanks..thing is I got in even deeper last night because I sent him a text back saying " haha thanks for the sweet words. I didn't notice. I had a nice time too:)"I just couldn't bring myself to say it after the nice words. Now he's texted me twice so far today..one a question and another a link to a song from a band we talked about. I think this evening I'm going to write exactly this.

"Hey. I enjoyed meeting you but I don't think we're a match"

Gah it's gonna be hard but we all meet ppl who aren't feeling it with us...I doubt he'll be that bothered by it. It's just hard for me for some reason.

 

I totally get it.

I used to have a hard time letting guys down too.

 

But I learned that it's way better than leading them on.

And they will respect you for your honesty and for not allowing them to continue their little mating dance ;)

  • Like 3
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