DayDreamer75 Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 a couple of weeks back I was at a conference in London and I met this man from US. He lives in US, I live in Europe. We hung out the whole night just talking and hugging. Nothing else. And we really had a great time together... He did seem to be into me too soon telling me things like I was the most beautiful woman he had seen in all senses (appearance, brains, sweetness, etc) and I was everything he was looking for in a woman. He came by to see me the next day to say goodbye before he left for the States. Then he spent last 2 weeks texting me often and he was being very sweet. He told me that he liked me a lot and even wanted to know if I could be in a relationship with him. I told him that I liked him a lot as well but we had to get to know each other before making such a decision. Anyways, fast forward to 3 days ago, out of the blue he tells me that he could really see himself with someone like myself for the rest of his life but this situation is very difficult for him because we are worlds apart and it is painful to invest time and effort into something that may never happen. So we decide to stop all the communications. I am OK with his decision, I just don't understand all this fuss. Nothing happened between us, we were not even in a relationship, I really liked having him in my life and talking to each other on a periodic basis. What I don't understand is simply this: why pursue me so intensely and then 10 days later tell me that you are too involved and can't continue this way. I can't say I am in pain for this guy because we did not really spend much time together and I did not really know him. But I liked him and I was confident that we could at least become excellent friends because we had so many things in common and even the same level of sensibility. Can someone help me understand what really went on the mind of this guy? He did not have to say all the things he did and I was not being in any way clinging or looking for a relationship. Thanks to all
preraph Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 Well, I think his rational side kicked in. I mean, you are not even in the same country. And you can't believe that an attractive man isn't already dating or has girlfriends or even a wife here already. I think he got caught up a bit but then knew it was impossible. 1
Author DayDreamer75 Posted March 20, 2017 Author Posted March 20, 2017 Thanks a lot for your reply. That could very well be... And I have thought of that as well... But since he is not a boy and is 56 years old, I would have thought that he would not behave like a boy. I know he was married before but is now divorced and based on the frequency of the contact over the 10 days before his "check-out" I would say that I believe he is not currently married. Regardless, as I said, I did not have time to seriously invest in this. We were not even in a relationship. I just found this whole behavior very peculiar for a 56 year old man who theoretically should be more mature and approach things in a more rational way since the beginning, not after 10 days. Anyways, thanks again for your post... It helped clarify my doubts to an extent KR
Chilli Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 Thinking he just got a bit carried away earlier but then later on at home he got to thinking about how awkward and complicated it would be to make anything of it. Some people are just very practical and when the come to their senses they just end it right there. Wouldn't be surprised if you hear from him again in a few wks though when he finds out that's gonna be harder than he thought.
Author DayDreamer75 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Posted March 21, 2017 Thank you Chilli for your kind response. I am OK with him not wanting a relationship with me. I was not looking for one, never asked to have a relationship with him and I knew him only for so long to even desire that! I am also pragmatic and it makes no sense to me to get into a romantic relationship with somebody I hardly know and who's thousands of miles away. The only thing I am upset about is that I thought we were getting along very well and I was confident that we could become good friends and maybe hang out together again in future when our lives bring us close again whenever that would happen. I just don't understand his desire to so abruptly interrupt all communications since we were not in a relationship and I was enjoying what seemed to be the beginning of a friendship. Well, if he did not think he would benefit from our friendship and it was best to end it here, then fine... Life is too short for me to keep dwelling on this. I am resolved to remove his brief appearance in my life from my memories and have already planned out some exciting vacation in the upcoming weeks .
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