hachiko Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 (edited) I recently discovered that i have truly fallen in love with my junior who is 8 years younger to me. Ever since i expressed it to her , my life hasnt been the same. I truly love her and I am crazy about her. We talk over phone n chatt for hours. She told me at the first instance that she cant see me in that space. I am truly devastated with this but kept on emoting to her in the best way i could. I sing for her, i buy her gifts, we have even gone out for movie n dinner and recently even for a long drive. I am in constant thoughts about her and cannot come over her. I feel jealous if she talks to any other guy in office or otherwise n i constantly wait for her msg or talk with her. On her recent visit to her hometown, i dropped her to airport n i was lost since the time i left her there. I am too much in love with her, I am nt able to come to the terms with dis rejection. Very recently she said, I am scared of myself that despite knowing all i am coming out with you and holding your hand, even resting on your shoulders.....I dont know how to deal with this. I love her crazily and i have told her i will wait for you till my dying day. What should I do to change her mind towards me. Edited March 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
preraph Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 I'm sure she's flattered by the attention, but if she doesn't feel that sort of attraction to you, then you can't make her change her mind. If you press her, you will lose the friendship. You need to stop buying her gifts. Some girls would hang around just to get gifts, but without having mutual feelings. I mean, if she's holding hands and stuff, then maybe it's not a totally lost cause, but usually if a woman tells you she doesn't like you that way, there is just no coming back from that. Her best level of interest would be reluctance and feeling guilt not being attracted back, not a great combination. 4
FoundLove Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 This girl made it clear to you that you are only a friend to her and she is not romantically interested in you. You can't make her fall in love with you. If you don't end your friendship with her, you will never be able to go out and find someone who will love you back. 6
smackie9 Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 You are not in love you are obsessed with her. For your own good cut her off completely.....because right now you are being a doormat, as she wipes her feet on you and walks off to talk to other guys. To be desired is to be unavailable.....be unavailable to her. Maybe she will miss you or realize she has feelings....but right now she sees you as a love sick slobbering weak little puppy that follows her around. Be a man and cut her off....show her you are not going to be weakened by her anymore. 1
smackie9 Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 Tip: never ever be so available to a woman that you are not even in a sexual/romantic relationship with. YOU CANNOT BUY someone's affection by buying gifts, being there for them, doing anything for them at the drop of a hat....you just get taken advantage of. 3
preraph Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 I agree with the above about gifts. We see that type thing in the romance movies, but they get to write their own happy endings and in real life, what happens if you try to buy love is you attract women who want to sell their bodies, not their hearts.
lurker74 Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 Wow, man...I feel for you. You're in a tough position and unrequited love - if it is love - is the worst. Some will tell you that love that is not return is not love and they may be right, but that won't make it hurt less. But here this: Everything you're doing is pushing her further away from you. She knows how invested you are in her despite a return in investment from her and that will cause her to keep herself further and further away from you romantically. It's practically a scientific law. Now, that is not license to treat her like crap and "neg" her. But you have to find happiness inside of you without regard to her. If you can do that and are able to approach her on equal or even higher footing, you might have a chance, but you have to stop begging (which is what you are doing).
Author hachiko Posted March 26, 2017 Author Posted March 26, 2017 Hi guys...yesterday we went for a day out .had a good drive n were laughing and talking n even had a nice lunch where i gifted her a pendant ...she did resisted saying why did u got it and as i had got it jus for a good luck charm i myself put it in her neck n kissed her head saying take care. One thing i rem she saying to me while we hit the beach is...You gifted me cellphone i cudnt help it, today u gifted me dis pendant n am not able to help it n i feel helpless. She also said its not about d pendant its beautifull bt am not liking its comming from you. I got very hurt by this n it shattered me inside. We then hit the beach n in knee deep water i held her very closed to me many times as we clicked selfies on her cellphone. She did not shrugged me bt dint held me d way i held her n all her pics her hands are folded bt she happily posed for all selfies..we held hands many times as well. While driving back i even kissed her hands many times n even on her head. Dose 13hrs wer d best hours i evrr had n will be. I dropped her home holding her hand n driving by other as she felt asleep. She looked pretty n beautifull so much...I really love her and wanna be with her but I dunno what shd i do further...I am missing her so much today dat i am not meeting her today as she got nother plans wid friends....
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 (edited) Hi guys...yesterday we went for a day out .had a good drive n were laughing and talking n even had a nice lunch where i gifted her a pendant ...she did resisted saying why did u got it and as i had got it jus for a good luck charm i myself put it in her neck n kissed her head saying take care. One thing i rem she saying to me while we hit the beach is...You gifted me cellphone i cudnt help it, today u gifted me dis pendant n am not able to help it n i feel helpless. She also said its not about d pendant its beautifull bt am not liking its comming from you. I got very hurt by this n it shattered me inside. We then hit the beach n in knee deep water i held her very closed to me many times as we clicked selfies on her cellphone. She did not shrugged me bt dint held me d way i held her n all her pics her hands are folded bt she happily posed for all selfies..we held hands many times as well. While driving back i even kissed her hands many times n even on her head. Dose 13hrs wer d best hours i evrr had n will be. I dropped her home holding her hand n driving by other as she felt asleep. She looked pretty n beautifull so much...I really love her and wanna be with her but I dunno what shd i do further...I am missing her so much today dat i am not meeting her today as she got nother plans wid friends.... You really need to stop seeing, contacting her as much as you are able! All of your gift giving, uninvited touching, etc. is likely making her feel very uncomfortable. She's told you that she's not interested and has been blunt about your gift-giving. STOP. It is now bordering on intimidation and harassment or moving in that direction if you do not control your impulses and/or desire to impress when you've already been rejected. Please leave her alone. Edited March 26, 2017 by simpleNfit 1
spiderowl Posted March 26, 2017 Posted March 26, 2017 She is not comfortable with you giving her gifts. She should be refusing them really because she does not feel the same way as you. If you really do like this girl, you need to back off and not be there so often for her. Let her miss you and seek you out but make it clear you are interested in a romantic relationship and not just friendship. Draw the boundaries of what kind of relationship you want. It will show her you are strong and not prepared to be just a friend in her life. She may just drift off and meet someone else or she may start to see you in a new light. There are no certainties in this situation but she is more likely to be attracted to a strong and independent man than someone who spoils her so much all the time.
Author hachiko Posted April 4, 2017 Author Posted April 4, 2017 Dear Folks, some unusual circumstances have happen over past weekend. On saturday I asked her out to a long drive and she accepted it. We were together till 0400hrs in the morning. It was usual chat n drive which she too liked it. We had a nice coffee at restaurant atop and hill and i dropped her back. On Sunday as she was free in the evening i asked her out to dinner and she said i dunno whether to say yes or no. I replied saying if you feel like coming out, i am free too and we went to a nice beautiful restaurant for dinner which was on 40th floor. We had a quality time together, however while returning back I am not sure what happened while we took selfies. We ended up coming near to each other and kissed, not only did we kissed but we continued it until it came to a point where we had intimate session where it was nothing short of making love except for the sex. On Monday she requested for a leave from office , I asked her if she would want me to come over fr tea n jus to chatt and she said yes. In afternoon I went to her house and we ended up again on the bed this time too and it was very intimate and her expressions said all to me that she really enjoyed every moment of it. What should i sense from this. She said i am confused wt it is. In the night she said please promise me this should never happ again and said I cant control atleast you control me and urself. Lets not do this again as i feel guilt while speaking to my parents who are not in mumbai. I have reluctantly promised her but i really wanna it to happen again. What should i sense from all this. please help.
Author hachiko Posted April 4, 2017 Author Posted April 4, 2017 One more thing to add here. I asked her about why would she not choose me and i very successful, educated , ready to commit too. She said the age gap is much. But did say that i wanna think. What should I do to? She says she cant think of me in such way but we also ended up being physical and now she suddenly wants me to be stop coming close to her. She too confessed that she coudnt stop herself and doesnt knows why? Dis was the first ever time she came close to a man, kissed a man, n allowed to be touched everywhere.
Recommended Posts