Jenny4 Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 Hello everyone! I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and some months. My boyfriend and i even share an appartment together. His family lives in a different country and i have visited them a couple of times already. They are very strict and didnt seem like very loving people but i still try my best to be myself around them and i think we get along good. I texted my boyfriends brother if he wants to come to our country as a suprise for my boyfriends birthday and he texted back that it seems like a good idea but will talk to his parents if they havent alreay planned something else for him. I told him to please let me know. But havent heard from him since. I would like to get a closer relationship to his brother but he never comes visit here anymore ever since i am together with my boyfriend. Now i recently found out through my boyfriend that in fact his mom is planning a surprise for him to fly out to them for his birthday weekend but they dont invite me? His brother also never let me know. I already had a whole thing with his friends planned for his birthday and now i find out my boyfriend will be spending it in a different country and i am not invited. I told my boyfriend that that makes me very upset that his family is not even thinking about inviting me and my boyfriend doesnt care and tells me i worry too much about it. I cried because i feel like my boyfriend doesnt understand why i am so upset over the situation and my bf literally walked out of the room as i cried and said he doesnt wanna deal with me. ....... MY family invites my boyfriend to everything and his family just never does. Its like they couldnt care less about me and i am upset that my boyfriend diesnt care my feelings are hurt. What can i do?
preraph Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 Had you already told him you had plans for him or not? If so and he accepted, he shouldn't have gone there right on the same date. If not, then he accepted their invitation first. They probably do not approve of him marrying you or whatever. They'll probably introduce him to some suitable young ladies hoping he'll move back there or something. You should tell him about your plans and at least make him feel guilty.
kendahke Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 What can i do? Buy your own ticket and book your own lodgings and go. Outside of that, understand that the way your family does things does not obligate anyone else's family to follow suit. For whatever reason: money, logistic, time constraints, they are not going to foot the bill for plane tickets and lodging for you. They are entitled to spend their money the way they see fit.
preraph Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 She's not even invited. Even HE did not invite her. They want to break them up and he's okay with that apparently.
VeveCakes Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 Buy your own ticket and book your own lodgings and go. Outside of that, understand that the way your family does things does not obligate anyone else's family to follow suit. For whatever reason: money, logistic, time constraints, they are not going to foot the bill for plane tickets and lodging for you. They are entitled to spend their money the way they see fit. Wtf first suggestion is crazy and second she wasn't invited so it's not about them paying for her. He walked away as you were crying and trying to tell him how it makes you feel? Yeah...married a guy like that. Never changes unfortunately. He doesn't care about your feelings. What are you going to do about it?
coolheadal Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 Walk or stay? Tough situation you have there to deal with. You can't please his family, your not living with them, so why do you care if they don't want you around them. Now he has to please his family so you can't go with him because his family doesn't want you there. That's his family they'll always be there for him as you can always walk out on him. So who matters to them is their son and not you. Different cultures you can't win with them. So again if your upset and the boyfriend doesn't show you enough respect for you being with him a year you need to consider some options. Right now you tolerate this as you are hurt because you love him but you are also hurt by him and his manner of behavior with his family towards you. The right way he should have gone was with you on this. But he lets his family tell him what to do. So now you know where you stand. You come second when it comes to his family, might come third if he places himself as first than you second. Again go and stay with your family while he's away with him, or just be quiet about your feelings and tell him to have a fun time with his family on his birthday. But you already shown weakness on your part thus he doesn't seem to care for a weak woman like you. So that's another issue that has popped up. What a mess your in there with him and his family. If I was you I would pack-up my things and move out and don't even bother to contact him again until he makes and effort to miss you? That's another option. But if you don't have pride you can give in or not? The choice is all yours to make.
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