Boyfriend doesn't have a plan for me and my children in the event of his death

[mima74]

You're not his life partner, though. You're not married, and you've never gotten a firm confirmation that he's going to take care of you if he dies. Just assigning yourself that title doesn't make you entitled to his money. If you're just "shocked," or "offended," or insulted, why not just leave him?

 

 

 

YOU haven't even thought about what would happen to yourself and your kids -- you're very unprepared. How on Earth can you feel "offended" that someone else hasn't agreed to gift you his fortune? I'm sorry, but this doesn't make any sense.

 

If he dies, you expect his kids to split his million dollars+ six ways as opposed to two. Instead of a pre tax $500K, they instead each get ~$166K just because you were "offended" and totally unprepared. The responsibility lies on you, not some guy you conveniently decided to call your "life partner" two thirds of the way through your life. If you die, his kids get to keep their money. They are actually better off. Do you really think it's fair for you to pocket $664K for yourself and your kids just... because? If you die, his kids don't inherit a small fortune from you, they just get to keep what they were going to get anyways and don't have to split it with someone who felt "offended."

 

It sounds like you're asking for a lot more than you bring to the table, and I totally understand your boyfriend's (not husband, not life partner yet) reluctance. Sorry.

 

Let me be very clear .... I'm ONLY talking about putting aside about $1500 for me to be able to put money down for an apartment when we leave his residence. I'm not sure where you got this "split 6 ways" stuff. I would urge you to read what I posted. In no way am I looking for his "fortune". Again, go back and read what was actually written. Thanks for the feedback though.

[mima74]

I must have missed something. Where did the OP say that she wanted him to split his assets six ways?

 

EXACTLY. I didn't. This person doesn't know what they're talking about. The only dollar amount I mentioned was $1,500 (one thousand five hundred dollars) maximum so I can put a deposit on an apartment so my kids and I wouldn't be homeless. That's it.

[Whoknew30]

This is the problem with "life partners" vs spouses. Marriage is a legal binding contract, if you want benefits & or think you should receive anything, you need to be the spouse. I don't care how long a couple is together, boyfriend & girlfriend is only boyfriend & girlfriend.

 

If two people make the choice to never marry, it's usually bc of finances & or a open to be able to walk away with no real issues bc legally they can. Everyone can

 

You're planning your wedding, so I don't understand the issue? IMO no one owes anyone anything unless actually married. It's why gays fought for the right, so they didn't have these benefit issues.

 

This is why, unless married I would never in a million years mix finances. In fact not one person I know would either. He has his a kid to think about & until he's legally a step dad, his child should come before you, just as your kids should too. IMO he doesn't owe you anything & you're the one that put yourself & your kids in that position.

 

He's not in the wrong nor selfish for putting his interests first, he's smart. Not only would I do the same but I'd advice anyone that's not married to also do the same. Youve been though a bad divorce, you ought to understand where he's coming from...he has his ex on his will bc he figures she's not going to screw over his own child. I'd do the same for my kids.

 

Just get married & you won't have to worry but don't ruin the relationship bc he's waiting for that...he's already been through a relationship that didn't work, he's covering him & his kid's butt.

[Whodatdog]

OP. The clock is ticking. You are one accident or health incident away from being homeless with 3 kids. There is no support for you here. None.

 

You need to talk to him about getting a life insurance policy on him....but I have a funny feeling he will refuse to do this. I hope Im wrong.

[Sweetfish]

OP. The clock is ticking. You are one accident or health incident away from being homeless with 3 kids. There is no support for you here. None.

 

You need to talk to him about getting a life insurance policy on him....but I have a funny feeling he will refuse to do this. I hope Im wrong.

 

 

Look... your title says your boyfriend doesnt have a plan for me...

 

Your boyfriend is not responsible for the situation your in...

 

 

You are....

 

You could leave and he will be fine.

 

You cannot say the same if he leaves.

 

You need to make a PLAN for you.

 

Thats is the ultimate advice... if you feel if he is using you

 

Leave.

[Sweetfish]

I must have missed something. Where did the OP say that she wanted him to split his assets six ways?

 

If he has a life insurance policy he will claim her children and in the event he dies... assets will be delegated between his children, her and her kids.

 

O.P. I suggest you read into the policy and how they effect the allocation of moneys or show him how getting married will reduce his taxes.

 

You are asking him to make fiscal decisions... are you aware how they effect him?

 

Your looking at it from your perspective...you are telling your boyfriend how he should cut his money among his kids, you, and your kids when he dies.

 

Does your job offer life insurance... have you put him on it.. and no it does not matter he makes x amount of dollars..

 

 

You are putting all your chips on him.. that is not fair.

[basil67]

If he has a life insurance policy he will claim her children and in the event he dies... assets will be delegated between his children, her and her kids.

 

O.P. I suggest you read into the policy and how they effect the allocation of moneys or show him how getting married will reduce his taxes.

 

You are asking him to make fiscal decisions... are you aware how they effect him?

 

Your looking at it from your perspective...you are telling your boyfriend how he should cut his money among his kids, you, and your kids when he dies.

 

Does your job offer life insurance... have you put him on it.. and no it does not matter he makes x amount of dollars..

 

 

You are putting all your chips on him.. that is not fair.

 

A life insurance policy is not sum total of his assets. She isn't looking for his house, superannuation or a part of his income. She talked about a modest policy to get her back on her feet.

 

That said, I have reconsidered and am now not sure a life insurance policy is the best idea. Given that he's cancelled the wedding and has anger issues, the odds of this relationship lasting till death is low. It's pretty clear that he isn't going to help her with anything in a financial sense, so the OP does need to take responsibility for her own financial future so that when they break up, she has somewhere to go.

[mima74]

This is the problem with "life partners" vs spouses. Marriage is a legal binding contract, if you want benefits & or think you should receive anything, you need to be the spouse. I don't care how long a couple is together, boyfriend & girlfriend is only boyfriend & girlfriend.

 

If two people make the choice to never marry, it's usually bc of finances & or a open to be able to walk away with no real issues bc legally they can. Everyone can

 

You're planning your wedding, so I don't understand the issue? IMO no one owes anyone anything unless actually married. It's why gays fought for the right, so they didn't have these benefit issues.

 

This is why, unless married I would never in a million years mix finances. In fact not one person I know would either. He has his a kid to think about & until he's legally a step dad, his child should come before you, just as your kids should too. IMO he doesn't owe you anything & you're the one that put yourself & your kids in that position.

 

He's not in the wrong nor selfish for putting his interests first, he's smart. Not only would I do the same but I'd advice anyone that's not married to also do the same. Youve been though a bad divorce, you ought to understand where he's coming from...he has his ex on his will bc he figures she's not going to screw over his own child. I'd do the same for my kids.

 

Just get married & you won't have to worry but don't ruin the relationship bc he's waiting for that...he's already been through a relationship that didn't work, he's covering him & his kid's butt.

 

We don't mix finances.

[mima74]

If he has a life insurance policy he will claim her children and in the event he dies... assets will be delegated between his children, her and her kids.

 

O.P. I suggest you read into the policy and how they effect the allocation of moneys or show him how getting married will reduce his taxes.

 

You are asking him to make fiscal decisions... are you aware how they effect him?

 

Your looking at it from your perspective...you are telling your boyfriend how he should cut his money among his kids, you, and your kids when he dies.

 

Does your job offer life insurance... have you put him on it.. and no it does not matter he makes x amount of dollars..

 

 

You are putting all your chips on him.. that is not fair.

 

I am not telling him how he should cut his money among his kids, me, etc. Please read what I actually wrote. Thanks.

[mima74]

A life insurance policy is not sum total of his assets. She isn't looking for his house, superannuation or a part of his income. She talked about a modest policy to get her back on her feet.

 

That said, I have reconsidered and am now not sure a life insurance policy is the best idea. Given that he's cancelled the wedding and has anger issues, the odds of this relationship lasting till death is low. It's pretty clear that he isn't going to help her with anything in a financial sense, so the OP does need to take responsibility for her own financial future so that when they break up, she has somewhere to go.

 

Thank you so much!

[mima74]

He is getting all the benefits of a wife without any commitment. I can't believe he takes your money for rent when he makes do much compared to you. How about suggesting you lower your rent pymt and financial contributions and save that money? Personally, I wouldn't stay in a situation that is clearly one sided. If you let it go on you're to blame.

 

Thanks for the comment.

[Sweetfish]

I am not telling him how he should cut his money among his kids, me, etc. Please read what I actually wrote. Thanks.

 

Please read what I wrote...

 

You need to make YOUR own plan... point blank.

 

You... not him.

[Whodatdog]

If he has a life insurance policy he will claim her children and in the event he dies... assets will be delegated between his children, her and her kids.

 

O.P. I suggest you read into the policy and how they effect the allocation of moneys or show him how getting married will reduce his taxes.

 

You are asking him to make fiscal decisions... are you aware how they effect him?

 

Your looking at it from your perspective...you are telling your boyfriend how he should cut his money among his kids, you, and your kids when he dies.

 

Does your job offer life insurance... have you put him on it.. and no it does not matter he makes x amount of dollars..

 

 

You are putting all your chips on him.. that is not fair.

 

A life insurance policy goes to the person who is the beneficiary. He can have several life insurance policies, or just one. He could purchase another one with the OP as the beneficiary. They arent very expensive.

 

It would be the easiest solution to this problem, if the OPs boyfriend were so inclined to be looking out for her and her kids interests.

[mima74]

Please read what I wrote...

 

You need to make YOUR own plan... point blank.

 

You... not him.

 

Yes, I agree with you. That is not in dispute. What I dispute is your assertion that I am making him do anything with his money. That is not what I wrote. Read it again.

[mima74]

A life insurance policy goes to the person who is the beneficiary. He can have several life insurance policies, or just one. He could purchase another one with the OP as the beneficiary. They arent very expensive.

 

It would be the easiest solution to this problem, if the OPs boyfriend were so inclined to be looking out for her and her kids interests.

 

Thank you.

[mima74]

I think your immediate goal should be seeking ways to financially support yourself without help. You simply must be able to do that. What about going back to school?

 

Your situation is like so many women's. So many women are with men who don't want to marry them, but, instead of moving on, they stay and accept whatever the man is willing to offer. Your situation is tricky because you can't financially support yourself without him. So you either have to find a way to do so or stay in this relationship until he breaks up with you. I would start stashing money ASAP and go back to school because you need to get out of this situation. The insurance money is a symptom of a larger problem.

 

Thank you for your feedback. Yes I went back to school this semester - night classes. I work full time during the day and take care of the kids/home afterwards. Some money in savings. Slowly but surely.

[Sweetfish]

A life insurance policy goes to the person who is the beneficiary. He can have several life insurance policies, or just one. He could purchase another one with the OP as the beneficiary. They arent very expensive.

 

It would be the easiest solution to this problem, if the OPs boyfriend were so inclined to be looking out for her and her kids interests.

 

However... she is inclined to believe he will die first. What happens if she dies...thats the flip side... life insurance is not super expensive.. She can have life insurance policy to cover her kids also if she becomes disable.

 

This argument is one sided and your going around that she is responsible for her children at the end of the day in the event something happens.

 

You can take the advice and make the proper moves to learn more about how to make a safe net for you kids or get someone else to have plans for you...

 

 

 

Btw are the arguments about the will/policy or something else... are there other problems in the relationship other than this?

[mima74]

I agree with this post. OP: May I ask how old the kids from both sides are? How is the relationship between your boyfriend and your own kids? I'm not sure if your boyfriend has already paid off his mortgage, but 130k/year is really not that much for a father of two in the Bay Area. Does the $1m asset include the value of the house? What was your living situation before moving in with your boyfriend?

 

I also wanted to add that if he passes away or if you guys break up, you'll just have to move to a smaller place in a more affordable area (e.g., Oakland in the East Bay). Depending on the situation and the location, you might be qualified for some support for low-income households.

 

Yes, I would definitely move from the area we are now. The kids all get along well. They're all really best buddies and consider each other siblings. Ages 6, 10, 11, and 12. My oldest is grown and out of the house.

[mima74]

However... she is inclined to believe he will die first. What happens if she dies...thats the flip side... life insurance is not super expensive.. She can have life insurance policy to cover her kids also if she becomes disable.

 

This argument is one sided and your going around that she is responsible for her children at the end of the day in the event something happens.

 

You can take the advice and make the proper moves to learn more about how to make a safe net for you kids or get someone else to have plans for you...

 

 

 

Btw are the arguments about the will/policy or something else... are there other problems in the relationship other than this?

 

I already have made the proper moves. My initial post was wondering if it was normal for an unmarried couple to not have plans for the other person in the event of death. I'm not looking for all his money. I believe that some people actually do plan such things in the event of a death. Married AND unmarried. There was actually one person already on this thread that talked about it. So I'm glad that I'm not off base. My question was because I wanted to figure out if I was totally wrong for feeling this way. That's all. It went from that to all of a sudden me supposedly telling him what to do with his money - which i never did -, wanting all his money - which i don't - wanting him to support my kids - which I never said - , etc. I thought my post was clear. Apparently I needed to be more careful with what I wrote.

[anna121]

I already have made the proper moves. My initial post was wondering if it was normal for an unmarried couple to not have plans for the other person in the event of death. I'm not looking for all his money. I believe that some people actually do plan such things in the event of a death. Married AND unmarried. There was actually one person already on this thread that talked about it. So I'm glad that I'm not off base. My question was because I wanted to figure out if I was totally wrong for feeling this way. That's all. It went from that to all of a sudden me supposedly telling him what to do with his money - which i never did -, wanting all his money - which i don't - wanting him to support my kids - which I never said - , etc. I thought my post was clear. Apparently I needed to be more careful with what I wrote.

 

I think it was maybe a little unclear in that when someone talks about their partner having a "plan in the event of his or her death", it sounds a bit more extensive than, literally, first and last month's rent.

 

But you have been pretty clear in your subsequent posts.

[mima74]

I can understand your frustration. I'm by no means an expert but here are my initial observations:

 

 

 

You "committed your life" to him 4 years ago and brought along three other mouths to feed. Providing for one child takes a lifetime of work and sacrifice. He has two kids of his own, and, quite understandably, probably wants to make sure they're taken care of before yours. If I was one of his kids I wouldn't too happy if my dad had saved and planned to split everything two ways, and all of sudden it's getting split 6 ways because his girlfriend didn't bother to plan as diligently.

 

 

 

Serious question: why haven't you planned for yourself? Why is he at fault for not planning for you when you haven't even planned for you?

 

 

 

So was your plan for yourself just to be dependent on him? What about your ex husband? Why doesn't he provide for his children? Why is it solely your boyfriend's responsibility and not your ex-husbands and/or yours? I don't understand the hypocrisy here.

 

 

 

Calling yourself a "life partner" after you've already been married previously and had 3 kids with someone else is a bit much. I understand your frustration but I can also understand your boyfriend's reluctance. I doubt your life plans were to marry other people first, have kids, get divorced, and then try again with someone else who also wasn't expecting it. You can see how expecting his house and money after simply stepping into the role of "dutiful wife" is sort of expecting more than you bring to the table.

 

 

 

That's very easy for you to say because the tables never realistically would be turned. It's totally hypothetical. Not to mention, you haven't ensured the security of yourself and your kids now on your volition, and your plan is to rely on his house and money -- saying that if the tables were turned you'd so quickly give it all to his kids just doesn't add up to me. You currently haven't taken the steps to provide for your own or yourself, how can you even begin to say you'd provide for his?

 

Think about this: let's say the tables were turned, and you were the one making all the money, you planned well, you worked hard to get your high paying job, you realized having 3 kids will cost you a fortune so you only have 2, you live frugally and want to provide for them, but you get divorced from the person you built your life with. Then, you decide to enter a relationship with a guy who makes a fraction of what you do, but for some reason has even more kids and his plan to take care of them is to rely solely on you. Then he dies. Granted, you're adults and are hopefully aware of the implications of getting into relationships and the complications thereof. I don't think you're expecting anyone to die suddenly. But if that were the case under those circumstances, you probably wouldn't feel so great about the situation you inherited. Maybe that's why you were hesitant to marry this person.

 

Realistically, you want his money and house to provide and protect for you and your kids after his death -- what do he and his kids get in the event that you die? Well for one, they won't have to split their money with you and your kids, so more for them. And if he wants, he can be with someone who won't expect him to give away his kid's nest egg. I know it's hard to hear, but you need to consider things from his perspective. Maybe there's a reason he's being so hesitant about all this.

 

 

 

 

So you say you don't care about the money, you're just offended, but...

 

 

 

...this makes it sound like you're actually worried about the money and simply want to avoid seeming like a gold digger while you write this. The thing is, this is not a binary issue. You can be offended that he doesn't have a plan for you and still want the money too, as I suspect is the case. That's understandable. But it's better to forthright if you really want to solve this problem. If he had planned to leave his kids his house and money, and he left you and your kids of incredible sentimental value, would you still be "offended?" I imagine you would. So if you're that worried about the money, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to be honest with him about it.

 

 

 

Look, I can understand your frustration. But saying you're "building a life together" is sort of a broad stroke. My guess is that you were "building a life together" with your first spouses too, you both had kids, invested a lot of time, resources, blood, sweat, and tears into it, and thought that would be your life. It didn't work out. The "building" phase of your lives is basically over, and it was with other people, for the benefit of your own children. Your current relationship isn't so much one of "building," it's more one of comfort, convenience, and luxury. The luxury of having a person of the opposite sex there even though he's already had his wife and kids. The convenience of having him to pay bills and him having you handle some of the responsibilities. Your lives were "built" previously, this is just a different building you both moved into. It's very convenient for you to now say "I'm building my life with you now," and suddenly present him with all sorts of complicated obligations, because it doesn't seem as this man thinks of it as "building his life" with you. It sounds like it translates to "you and your kids need him for your survival, but he doesn't necessarily need you" and you're understandably anxious about it.

 

While I'm sure it's an unfavorable opinion, I don't think your boyfriend is that far wrong. He wants to make sure his own kids are provided for, and for him, this relationship seems more like one of convenience than one of necessity (I could be completely off here, so correct me if I'm wrong). If I were him, I'd be telling myself that I worked hard my whole life to house and feed my own children and to leave them with my house and money, not 4 other people who came into the picture 15 years later -- who conveniently didn't take the time or precaution to get their own home or money -- and suddenly are so "offended" that they can't have mine. That seems pretty ridiculous and I can empathize with your boyfriend.

 

Maybe I'm biased. My parents lived below their means, spent their years planning carefully, living frugally, and making endless sacrifices for me and my brother. All that sacrifice and planning manifested itself into quite a bit of money ~25 years later. They built a life together successfully for themselves and their children. After my mom died, my dad was lonely and bored and decided to date. He met a woman who was very eager to insert herself into his life, my 65 year old dad became enamored, and proposed to her. I doubt the expectation for them was to "build a life together," they were both retired and done building careers, and my dad done raising kids. There was little life left to "build" and "develop," it was a relationship predicated on having someone to talk to spend remaining days with. So a few days after the proposal, my dad had a prenuptial agreement drawn up, and to his new finance's horror, it stated that in the event of his death, he wouldn't leave her his money, just use of (not ownership of) the house. She then decided the relationship wasn't working out and left him. I wonder if she would've been in that position, or as subsequently offended, if she didn't think she could live comfortably off my dad's money after he died.

 

I'm sure you can draw some slight comparisons here. I'm not saying you don't love your boyfriend or that he doesn't love you, or that you aren't a great step mom or caretaker. But saying that you're "building a life together" when that entails you and your kids largely benefitting at the expense of his kids is cause for concern for him, and that I largely understand. Your lives are basically "built" already. It's not his (or his kids) fault that he's more prepared than you are. Why aren't your kids provided for already? Why isn't your childrens' father providing for them? Why are you suddenly saddling your boyfriend, who had no say in their creation or lack of provision, with the obligation to provide for you and them at the expense of his own after his death?

 

If this is really about you being just "offended," then you should just leave the guy and move on with your life. You aren't married, and maybe this is part of the reason. Perhaps he can't fully commit to someone whose sole plan this late in her life is to be totally reliant on someone else. If it's about money as well, I think you should be a little more understanding. If money is such a concern, you should get some yourself and/or from your children's father -- it's his responsibility to pay for the kids he brought into this world (yours too, to be honest), it's not your boyfriend's. Your lives have been built before you met each other. I'm guessing he's with you out of convenience and luxury because it's nice to have someone around -- he has his kids provided for already -- you're with him out of love I'm sure, but also necessity. You need his money to survive. If he didn't have yours or the lack thereof, he'd still survive, I'm imagining. I could be wrong.

 

Keep that in mind when you consider things from his perspective. I'm sorry, I know it's a confusing situation and I'm not trying to be harsh but I hope you can consider a nuanced view on this. If you consider his position in all this you might be able to come to some sort of a compromise. What I would do is carefully consider and have a very frank discussion about marriage and the implications thereof. Be realistic. He's providing a lot of value to your lives, but you aren't married yet. I'm being totally harsh yet realistic here, but think about how his death would benefit your kids and detract from the well being of his own if you had things your way. But if you died, his kids wouldn't have to lose a large portion of everything their father worked for. Those are extremes of course -- you bring a lot to the table by handling a lot of responsibilities that have value of their own. You and your husband need to consider the value of those things, whether or not you'd continue to raise his kids if he died, etc. It's a complicated issue of course, but you've got to realize that on the most practical level, you're expecting more than you're providing. It's up to you both to see if that's a situation he, and you, are ultimately comfortable with. It's something you really need to hash out before marriage.

 

I never said I wanted all his money.

I never said I expected all his money.

I never said I wanted my kids and his kids to split his money

We got together with him KNOWING about my financial situation.

He asked me to move in anyway.

HE told me that he wanted to build a life together.

HE told me he was going to take care of me, retire with me, etc. etc.

HE knew how much money I made.

We blended our FAMILY regarding it as such. ONE UNIT.

 

Let me clarify, yet one more time ... this is NOT about me having an entire inheritance, getting his house, getting his money, cutting his kids out and whatever else you THOUGHT I wanted. This is about him not even giving a thought to what would happen with my living situation with the kids (i.e. being homeless quickly) if he passed on. Again, he KNOWS about finances. We have been together for 4 years! Of course he knows and he chose to be in this relationship anyway. Is it really out of line for someone to think that MAYBE their partner would at least have a little plan (like $1500) for a security deposit on an apartment? Because that's all I'm saying.

[Sweetfish]

Yes, I agree with you. That is not in dispute. What I dispute is your assertion that I am making him do anything with his money. That is not what I wrote. Read it again.

 

 

 

I read what you wrote... you expressed money was a touchy subject. You expressed the well being of your kids if he dies and also how long you have to leave. You continued on about rent and your credit.

 

No matter how you word everything... this issue relates to money.

 

The other posters here will tell you here what should happen in a relationship or if your being used or if he is having the benefits of wife without marriage. They will discuss your feelings and your position as the women in the relationship.

 

My key point is you... you have no nest egg.. no safety blanket, no protection on your kids or your self. Im going by your thread title and the resolve is to start figuring out how to not depend on a man. As your kids get older they will cost more and your bf will have the advantage... you will feel submissive to him and trapped.

 

You can grab the bits of support from the other posters telling you what your entitled to, whats not fair, or what is fair.

 

Im telling you to get the ball rolling and figure out your future if the relationship fails.

 

The guy has been thru a divorce and has 1mil$ in assets... you dont just sign the dotted line until you are SURE.

 

You clearly say you have arguments and things you two have to work on.. if you do not trust his word... if you think he is stringing you along... time to leave.

 

Sweetfish

[mima74]

I read what you wrote... you expressed money was a touchy subject. You expressed the well being of your kids if he dies and also how long you have to leave. You continued on about rent and your credit.

 

No matter how you word everything... this issue relates to money.

 

The other posters here will tell you here what should happen in a relationship or if your being used or if he is having the benefits of wife without marriage. They will discuss your feelings and your position as the women in the relationship.

 

My key point is you... you have no nest egg.. no safety blanket, no protection on your kids or your self. Im going by your thread title and the resolve is to start figuring out how to not depend on a man. As your kids get older they will cost more and your bf will have the advantage... you will feel submissive to him and trapped.

 

You can grab the bits of support from the other posters telling you what your entitled to, whats not fair, or what is fair.

 

Im telling you to get the ball rolling and figure out your future if the relationship fails.

 

The guy has been thru a divorce and has 1mil$ in assets... you dont just sign the dotted line until you are SURE.

 

You clearly say you have arguments and things you two have to work on.. if you do not trust his word... if you think he is stringing you along... time to leave.

 

Sweetfish

 

Thank you sweetfish. I appreciate the help!

[mima74]

I think it was maybe a little unclear in that when someone talks about their partner having a "plan in the event of his or her death", it sounds a bit more extensive than, literally, first and last month's rent.

 

But you have been pretty clear in your subsequent posts.

 

Oh yes, I see where I went wrong! Definitely should have titled the post differently. Just a security deposit on a place would be nice. That's all. Nothing else. Thank you.

[Sweetfish]

Thank you sweetfish. I appreciate the help!

 

Your boyfriend was ready for marriage... something happen. Something turned him off.

 

What was the argument?