My ex wanted to kiss me, i backed off. Does she still like me?

[Protec]

I had to make a new thread. Please don't close this one as things are progressing. I just want opinions and if someone has been in similar "place".

 

So i saw her today, she came to pick me up, came at my apartment and she gave me a cooking book. After that we went on a exhibition together. We had fun there and after that she asked "do you have tea or something at your place?". I said "yes i have some tea". So she came to my place.

 

We talked and she sat on my bed (i don't have a sofa). I put us some tea and showed her my music software (i make music). I even let her play some piano with my keyboard and then suddenly...suddelly "i need to hug you!". So we hugged and held each other for 5 minutes!

 

We played some more music together, i showed her some things and than sat back on my bed. We talked this and that and then we hugged each other on the bed...

 

Finally she had to leave but we ended up hugging ourselves for 25 minutes! We were standing the whole time...

 

We even held hands, you know, fingers locked, i don't know how to properly say it. Fingers crossed? I don't know, anyway. We held hands, we leaned to each other with our foreheads touching and she help her hands behind my neck and i had my hands behind hers. Things lead to another and she pushed me against the wall "This is the the only and LAST time we are doing this..." she wanted to kiss me...our lips almost touched but then i heard her whisper "this is wrong..." so i backed off too.

 

She has a new man. And.. i know, even hugging her for almost 30 mins total was wrong. IT's not normal hug. It's like a dance.

 

Is she just confused what she wants?

 

She constantly tells me things like:

 

"I cannot even look at my man in the face for this long time"

"I don't like his kids at all. I kinda even hate them."

"You make me feel so warm and even feels like my pain is relieved"

"I don't want to let you go.I could hug you forever".

"i feel so relaxed next to you, i could fall asleep"

 

Does she still love me? Or is she just confused what she wants?

 

I know i crossed the line. I had no right of hugging a taken woman so long. It was not a normal hug...she even touched my neck, my hair and sniffed my scent.

 

 

Please don't hate me for this.

 

I am very confused myself. I really, really enjoy spending time with her and it seems the chemistry is still there.

 

But, as someone already told me, if she really wanted to be with me, she probably would.

 

 

I mean, if her new relationship has worse chemistry than what we had...I know i could not be in a relationship with no chemistry. They have been together for only 3 months and already they are out of sparks.

[Blanco]

You're a smart guy so I don't think you aren't already aware of what most people will have to say about this. We cannot babysit you. People have tried to help out regarding this woman and, unfortunately, nothing has really come of it other than many people having their posting privileges restricted.

 

Best of luck with this pursuit, but don't fool yourself in thinking you aren't in for a world of agony.

[SevenCity]

Regardless of no sex, she is cheating on her bf by being with you.

 

Here's my litmus test for cheating:

 

- Did she tell him about it?

- Would she have acted the exact same if he were there with the two of you?

 

She is using you as an emotional tampon and she will dump you for good (and this other guy) when the full package comes along.

 

It's like you are addicted to a drug with her - best to go cold turkey.

[Protec]

Regardless of no sex, she is cheating on her bf by being with you.

 

Here's my litmus test for cheating:

 

- Did she tell him about it?

- Would she have acted the exact same if he were there with the two of you?

 

She is using you as an emotional tampon and she will dump you for good (and this other guy) when the full package comes along.

 

It's like you are addicted to a drug with her - best to go cold turkey.

 

She did tell about the movie afterwards, her man did not like it.

I doubt she would hug me like that if her man was seeing. She even said "someone would explode if knew about this...". So yes, she was secretly at my place.

[Protec]

You're a smart guy so I don't think you aren't already aware of what most people will have to say about this. We cannot babysit you. People have tried to help out regarding this woman and, unfortunately, nothing has really come of it other than many people having their posting privileges restricted.

 

Best of luck with this pursuit, but don't fool yourself in thinking you aren't in for a world of agony.

 

Yes.

 

I am just wondering. I know what everyone has to say. Block her etc. I know you don't have the answers, but i would just like to hear some similar events.

 

I didn't kiss her because for a moment i had the feeling i had when i found out she cheated me. I don't want her to tell her man "oh btw, i kissed my ex".

 

As far as i know, he seems to be a good guy. I've never met him, and probably never will. But i don't want some angry guy behind my door "you kissed my GF you bastard!!!"

 

Well, hugging for 30 minutes is maybe actually worse than a kiss....

 

I don't actually feel that bad as i used to. As i told in the previous thread, i have actually healed a bit.Sure, i am not saying i am immune to her, but i am definitely stronger (mentally) than what i was 4 months ago.

 

I did not kiss her. I had the chance. I have dreamed about kissing her again ever since we broke up. And now i had my chance and i pulled back. I know she would have responded. She was very confy to my touches and we do have great chemistry. We always did. That is something you cannot make-up.

 

But yeah, if she would've been single i would have kissed her. I can't really resist her that much.

[ExpatInItaly]

To answer your question from the thread title - no, she doesn't like you in the way you hope she does. She'd be with you if that were the case.

 

She plays with you.

 

You confuse this with genuine care and interest.

[spiderowl]

I am not surprised you are confused. She is with someone else but completely flirting with you and messing with your head. You need to keep away from her until she has properly decided who she wants to be with. Even then, do you want to be with someone who behaves like this? Would you ever trust her to commit to you without sneaking behind your back? I'm really sorry you are in this situation because it is very hurtful and confusing.

[montie1]

She doesn't seem like someone to be with don't ya think. I'm no relationship expert but cmon man. Why are you putting yourself through all this drama.

 

This kind of relationship is for high schoolers. Either you got something or you don't. No too. For anything else. The amount of energy you already wasted behind this you couldve had a fully functioning relationship.

 

Just let her go. This doesn't seem like its going anywhere.