rov Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 (edited) Hi guys, Im just hopeless. Im almost 30 years old and just feel hopeless in the love apartment. Most of my friends are marrying and people I know and that makes me feel bad and sad because I think I will end up alone forever. In my life I have gone on first dates with over 91 women, 3 of those became my girlfriends and other 4 almost became "girlfriends", I ended up screwing things with those 4. My first and second relationship were disastrous, the third one was better but was a conflictive one and she didn´t like the idea of me becoming a full time musician. I ended up ending things with her and within two months she entered a rebound relationship. I feel the most loneliness on the weekends. By the way I am a good looking guy, I studied business and a masters degree, I am a person of good values. I am also a talented musician: I play the piano and the guitar and I am aspiring to become a professional. Music is my biggest passion. Is there any hope for me in love?. Here are two very old videos of me playing the guitar haha Edited March 19, 2017 by rov 1
Marc878 Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 It usually happens when you least expect it. You're young and love is something that can't be pushed.
TheTraveler Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 Hi guys, Im just hopeless. Im almost 30 years old and just feel hopeless in the love apartment. Most of my friends are marrying and people I know and that makes me feel bad and sad because I think I will end up alone forever. In my life I have gone on first dates with over 91 women, 3 of those became my girlfriends and other 4 almost became "girlfriends", I ended up screwing things with those 4. My first and second relationship were disastrous, the third one was better but was a conflictive one and she didn´t like the idea of me becoming a full time musician. I ended up ending things with her and within two months she entered a rebound relationship. I feel the most loneliness on the weekends. By the way I am a good looking guy, I studied business and a masters degree, I am a person of good values. I am also a talented musician: I play the piano and the guitar and I am aspiring to become a professional. Music is my biggest passion. Is there any hope for me in love?. Here are two very old videos of me playing the guitar haha I would think on weekends you would be playing gigs at bars, restaurants, and clubs?
AT15 Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 I would think on weekends you would be playing gigs at bars, restaurants, and clubs? That's true. I feel like I'll never find true as well. I'm 37. Will be 38 in June. Was married, but married someone who really wasn't a good match. Met someone after, fell really hard, he then left me...Now I'm single again. Part of me thinks I'll never know "relationship" love and only experience self love. If that's my destiny then so be it. I make something be, that isn't. I live in a big city. Being single at "almost" 30 is the norm here.
normal person Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 What do you think has been stopping you from getting what you want? You said you messed p a few relationships (as we all have, at some point), surely you learned from your mistakes and can apply what you learned next time around, right? So maybe the 92nd first date is the one, or the 99th, or the 109th. What's stopping you now?
Author rov Posted March 19, 2017 Author Posted March 19, 2017 What do you think has been stopping you from getting what you want? You said you messed p a few relationships (as we all have, at some point), surely you learned from your mistakes and can apply what you learned next time around, right? So maybe the 92nd first date is the one, or the 99th, or the 109th. What's stopping you now? Im just starting to get discouraged and then I see people marrying, happy, etc. I have been a long time trying :S
rapandu Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Hi guys, Im just hopeless. Im almost 30 years old and just feel hopeless in the love apartment. I saw your other threads here on loveschack. My advice: take a look in the mirror, you have to change yourself. If something is not working, is not the world that has to change but you. You are needy, clingy, over-thinking (why didn't she wrote me back, she read my message and so on). How cannot you be not needy if you search a woman to work on your hopelessness. Making mistakes, making a foul out of you is ok. What is not ok, is staying the same. You can change, you can grow but you need a lot of work. So start reading books about dating, relationships, self improvement: Corey Wayne, Mark Manson, Tony Robbins, Jen Sincero and so on, and so on. Read 93 books from these guys and let me know after that if something changed.
ZA Dater Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 I saw your other threads here on loveschack. My advice: take a look in the mirror, you have to change yourself. If something is not working, is not the world that has to change but you. You are needy, clingy, over-thinking (why didn't she wrote me back, she read my message and so on). How cannot you be not needy if you search a woman to work on your hopelessness. Making mistakes, making a foul out of you is ok. What is not ok, is staying the same. You can change, you can grow but you need a lot of work. So start reading books about dating, relationships, self improvement: Corey Wayne, Mark Manson, Tony Robbins, Jen Sincero and so on, and so on. Read 93 books from these guys and let me know after that if something changed. Read books yes BUT. We are not generic people, what works for one doesn't work for another and so on and so forth, I'd also be carefully putting unquestioning belief in books. Sure read them but do that actually help practically when you are on a date or looking for one, I suspect not. However, perhaps the benefit is in reading experiences, in which case this forum is superb for that and the advice here has real value. I think there is always hope, you need to make life about more than dating because if you make life about something negative, all you land up with is a negative life.
rapandu Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Read books yes BUT. We are not generic people, what works for one doesn't work for another and so on and so forth, I'd also be carefully putting unquestioning belief in books. Sure read them but do that actually help practically when you are on a date or looking for one, I suspect not. How many books did you read? Jen Sincero, Tony Robbins don't write about relationships and dating. There are three categories of men: - those who are not able get women in bed - those who are able to get women in bed but they failed at relationship (short or toxic) - and are those who find happiness in a long and beautiful relationship - a small percentage To be in the last category you don't need advices about dating and picking-up. You need advices about yourself. Read this damn books. I don't always agree with everything but they force you to take a look inside of yourself.
kendahke Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 and other 4 almost became "girlfriends", I ended up screwing things with those 4. How, exactly, did you screw things up 4 times? It might be time to examine why this happened; what you did to bring this about 4 times but didn't learn from it after the 2nd time it happened. Taking time off of trying to find the next woman, your time would be better spent on developing what to look for now to see the situation forthcoming. Also, you may have to get to a point where you are OK with being single a little while longer because there's a good chance you will be single for a little while longer. If music is your life, then put your focus on that since you have no one in your life telling you that your music career is getting in their way. With no one to answer to, you can focus on getting to where you want to be without having a bad attitude waiting on you at home (or worse, having someone who cheats on you because she doesn't have self discipline). Amass your career dividends while you are young enough and free enough to do so. Don't saddle yourself with someone just to keep you from being lonely--that will pass; but ridding your life of a bad choice in partners may take a pound of flesh out of you.
preraph Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 This is easy. You have to find someone who is as much into music as you are or who is at least artistic and understands about following your passion. Now, I had a whole crowd of people when I was young who understood that. So date women who intensely love music, preferably the kind you play, and who aren't centered on a conventional life-style choice. You need someone similar to you, artistic, who follows their dreams and gets it.
kendahke Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Im just starting to get discouraged and then I see people marrying, happy, etc. I have been a long time trying :S I'm 57 and never married and am at peace with that. And yes, I've wanted to be, but I'd never met anyone in my younger days to whom I'd wanted to bind my life. Most people I know who married in their late 20's and early 30's are now twice divorced. Try not to get discouraged. At least you're not forking over half your assets.
OnlyHonesty Posted May 15, 2017 Posted May 15, 2017 Im just starting to get discouraged and then I see people marrying, happy, etc. I have been a long time trying :S Worrying about what, or when other people are doing things in their life does not make any sense. What does it solve? What's the point? That has to be one of the most useless things people seem to do in this age of social media. Life is not a race, it is unique, it is incomparable. As soon as you compare your life to another, you create a thief of joy.
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