cosis Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 My girlfriend of 4 months dumped me on Sunday. She was seperated for a year and recently her divorce was finalized this past weekened. Friday night we went out and I admit I acted like jerk (mostly because I had to much to drink) and did some stupid things. I still had know idea this was coming. Lately I felt her being a little distant from me but not enough to think things were going to end. It's so hard because this is the first girl I loved and now she just seems to have completely shut me out. I still want to talk to her to see if I can patch anything up. I miss her so bad right now. I sent her a long email explaining my feelings towards her and I haven't gotten any reply or phone call. I know in the back of my head it's over but I just can't help but feel I want to try and patch things up with her. Please give me some advice anyone...........
SummerRae Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 I feel your pain. I know where you are coming from. I recently had a short but intense relationship end as well and I really loved this person too so I know how hard it can be. There are no easy words or advice that can be given to you. But like you said yourself, you know in your head what you need to do. Your heart will repair itself on it’s own, the important thing is that you know in your mind that it’s over. Time will make it easier. That is the only solution that I’ve found. That and if you are taking a while or feel like you just need someone to talk to, there’s therapy. Therapy has helped me tremendously, putting things into perspective and to be able to realize that he and I weren’t meant to be. Please just let it go. I know it’s hard but you’ve already poured your heart out to her and she hasn’t responded yet, so you ultimately have no choice unless you want to humiliate yourself, which none of us want to do… trust me, just let it go. I wish I had let mine go sooner. I sent an email, and called and I wish I just had of walked away the minute he told me he wasn’t ready. It’s a pride thing I suppose. And not giving away your power… Good luck sweetie.
Author cosis Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 Thanks for your words. I really appreciate it............ I just need to move on I guess. I know she is going to call me at some point and I don't want to feel like some wimp anymore. I am just going to hold my head up high, if she doesn't want to date my anymore it's her loss I suppose. I just regret writing that email right now pouring my heart out and getting no response at all. I don't see how someone can say they love you one day and the next day completely break it off. I just think that is so cold.
SummerRae Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 I know, it's tough, trust me, do I ever know that. You did what you needed to do. Don't beat yourself up over it. I felt the same way until I realized that hey at least I cannot regret not trying. You let her know. Now the ball is in her court. And now you can move on knowing that at least you are able to love. I know it sucks to say that, but it's true, we have no choice but to just go on.
Author cosis Posted July 27, 2005 Author Posted July 27, 2005 your right, some part of me just hopes she realizes what she's lost. atleast i just want to talk to her one last time to get some more closure...............
SummerRae Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 I know... of course u want to talk to her one last time for closure. That is natural. But please just give it some time. Chances are if she loved you, she will be back, if not, would you really want to be in a relationship with her? You will get through this, promise. So how was your relationship together? Did you get along really well?
Author cosis Posted July 27, 2005 Author Posted July 27, 2005 Thanks, we had a great relationship, I know 4 months isn't long but it seemed longer. Lately I noticed I was getting somewhat of a cold shoulder but I never knew it was that bad. It's just hard losing someone you see 4-5 day's a week and talk to on the phone a few hours a day. The weird part was she just met my parents on Friday and decided it was over on Sunday. I still can't believe she never called or emailed me. In the past when we've broken up she would have atleast responded. I just think someone has influenced her to break it off with me such as a friend. If she never loved me your right I wouldn't want to be with her, I truly though she did love me and was even wanting to move in with me...............
Author cosis Posted July 27, 2005 Author Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae hold on here, so you've broken up before? LOL yeah a bunch of times, when she get's mad she breaks up instead of trying to work things out. This time I think it's for real because she hasn't contacted me. Usually after she breaks up she calls the next day.... Pretty immature eh? Sad thing is she is 28 and I am 24..........
SummerRae Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by cosis LOL yeah a bunch of times, when she get's mad she breaks up instead of trying to work things out. This time I think it's for real because she hasn't contacted me. Usually after she breaks up she calls the next day.... Pretty immature eh? Sad thing is she is 28 and I am 24.......... Cosis, since this is the case, you obviously seem much more emotionally mature than she does. 28 years old and still doing this crap??! Come on. You need to stand your ground. Whether she tries to come back or not, that is NO WAY to have a relationship. Not too secure, you know? I would just cut your losses and find something better. After 4 months, you will be fine, promise. Write about it, vent about it, get pissed about it, but move on with your life WITHOUT her, trust me, you'll be much better off finding a good relationship where the person knows what they want.
Author cosis Posted July 27, 2005 Author Posted July 27, 2005 Thanks Summer! One time I called her insecure and she blew up........... Sure sign she knows it's true huh?
SummerRae Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by cosis Thanks Summer! One time I called her insecure and she blew up........... Sure sign she knows it's true huh? Yes, the relationship def sounds tumultuous... not something I would try to hang onto unless you enjoy drama?? lol, it doesn't sound like you do. We all have these types of relationships at least once in our lives... just think of it as an experience and then keep on going...... Summer
fundamental Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by cosis LOL yeah a bunch of times, when she get's mad she breaks up instead of trying to work things out. This time I think it's for real because she hasn't contacted me. Usually after she breaks up she calls the next day.... Pretty immature eh? Sad thing is she is 28 and I am 24.......... The lady is treating this like a high school relationship and she is 28 years old!?!?!?! She thinks she can just break up and get back together whenever she wants. The bad part about it is if she wants to get back together, she knows you love her and would try to work it. She likes the dramatics, stay away!!! The woman is a leech slowly draining your blood.
Author cosis Posted July 27, 2005 Author Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae Yes, the relationship def sounds tumultuous... not something I would try to hang onto unless you enjoy drama?? lol, it doesn't sound like you do. We all have these types of relationships at least once in our lives... just think of it as an experience and then keep on going...... Summer Nah don't really enjoy drama, I thought dating an older woman would have cut that down......
Author cosis Posted July 27, 2005 Author Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental The lady is treating this like a high school relationship and she is 28 years old!?!?!?! She thinks she can just break up and get back together whenever she wants. The bad part about it is if she wants to get back together, she knows you love her and would try to work it. She likes the dramatics, stay away!!! The woman is a leech slowly draining your blood. Thanks your right.......... Feeling better today. Starting to feel if she did want to get back together I would think twice. Sucks that last correspondence I had with her gave her the feeling I was willing to do what it took to get her back!
SummerRae Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Well, that's ok, let her think that she could "have you back" and then if/when the day comes and she tries, I would tell her that she lost her chance. Too bad, so sad. She has not shown you the respect and love that you deserve. From here on out, don't chase, REPLACE! (My own personal motto).
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by cosis Thanks for your words. I really appreciate it............ I just need to move on I guess. I know she is going to call me at some point and I don't want to feel like some wimp anymore. I am just going to hold my head up high, if she doesn't want to date my anymore it's her loss I suppose. I just regret writing that email right now pouring my heart out and getting no response at all. I don't see how someone can say they love you one day and the next day completely break it off. I just think that is so cold. If you hadn't printed the ages I would have thought you were my exBF. Only I am hurting probably as much as he is but I wouldn't know cuz he hasn't called. We did the break-up/make-up thing too. You call it immature at 28 LOL we are 40 and still doing this! We both admitted it felt like we were in HS again. His last email said "I love you xoxox bottom line" (he was working out of town for a few months) and then....nothing, no calls, no returning my msgs, nothing. I don't even know if he's back home and left him a "have a nice life" msg on his voicemail last week so that I wouldn't feel guilty about dating again. If he does call, like you, I will hold my head up high. It's his loss and he knows it. I regret alot of the "pouring out" I did because now my heart is broken into a million pieces. But I'm moving forward with my head first as Summer mentioned, my heart will repair itself.
Author cosis Posted July 28, 2005 Author Posted July 28, 2005 I feel a lot better today.... she sent me a text message last night saying 'Hope your doing alright'. I replied 'I will be okay". I am happy thats all I sent. I realized today I shouldn't let this get me down. Of course I will miss her but you have to move forward. It's the only way. Can't wait till next week I will be in FL and hopefully by then forget all about this........... If she calls or emails in the future I will act civil but I won't be weak anymore. It isn't me but I thought it was what she needed during the times she was going through.
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