georgia girl Posted April 21, 2017 Posted April 21, 2017 OP, Just from what you have shared here, I do think you are overreacting and in doing so, hurting your marriage. Jealousy is pretty unattractive, to be honest. Now, if he had cheated on you, there may be some cause to be anxious but as you don't state that he has, this one is on you. We all have insecurities or anxieties, but it is a vital life skill to learn to control them. If you don't, you torture yourself while driving people away. Would it be possible for you to work with a counselor? A lot of the times, these out-of-control responses can be fixed, giving you a much better quality of life and potentially saving your marriage. It seems like you genuinely love your husband and you want to make this work. However, it doesn't seem like you truly recognize that this jealousy is really a problem (seems like you think it's more his behavior than your issue) and you continue to very closely monitor his interactions with women rather than attempt to control your response. I am married and I absolutely adore my husband. He has two very close female friends - one of whom is a sexy femme fatale. She literally turns every guy's head when she walks into a room and she is pretty flirtatious to boot. I don't have any qualms with my husband spending time with her. Why? It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him. He loves me and I know how highly he values our life and our relationship. Nothing comes before "us." Plus, he just doesn't have cheating in his DNA. For goodness sakes, he won't even tell a white lie because there is no reason in his mind to ever be dishonest. Think about your husband and his character. Is be honest? Committed to you? (I think he has to be to deal with the jealousy.) Does he value what the two of you have? If he does, I would encourage you to really work on your issues with insecurity and jealousy. Each time you falsely accuse him, it hurts him. He likely sees it as both your insecurity but also about how you think of him as a man... that you think he's untrustworthy, doesn't keep his promises, etc. Having his wife question his character like that has to kill him inside. Eventually, he will get hurt enough times that he will fall out of love with you. Once it starts to happen, it will be too late. You won't be able to save your marriage. Again, this is all predicated on what you shared here. But, if you have already talked divorce over this, some damage has been done. Please take this seriously. You seem like a very nice person but this is on you to fix. Good luck, GG
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