nobodyIam Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 I met a girl (call her M) and went on a few dates with her,but we decided we are better fit as friends (well I decided that I'm not into her and she keeps saying we're just friends). We went out with my (male) friend and her (female) friend (call her T) in order to get them to meet each other. My friend began messaging this T girl immediately. We find ourselves go out again and me and T really have great conversations and click amazingly (something that doesnt really happen to me). Everybody gets drunk and it turns out the original girl (M) wants something more with me, I state clearly I'm not interested in that way in her. Yesterday we go out again,similair thing happens,me and T click right away,with really nice conversation and have some fun. She keeps looking at me through the night and would playfully punch me and try to touch my muscles to "try them out". I'm really confused as to what to do here. I really like this girl T but she's good friends with M and my friend has a crush on T (even though they have almost nothing in common). Should I just cut my losses or try something more? T and me made plans to go on some event in may that interests both of us but doesnt interest my friend and M at all.
act00 Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 T's and M's and "my friend," become very hard to read and keep straight. So let me see if I have this straight. You initially started off dating M(ary), but you both seemed to not really be a match and are "just friends." You and Mary decided to set up your "(male) friend," let's call him Bob, with her friend, T(onya). Bob is crushing all over Tonya, but hasn't made any moves, they have nothing in common, and Tonya isn't particularly interested in Bob. You and Tonya are really hitting it off, and you want to go out with Tonya. Mary, at some point, has decided she's really into you, the "original couple," and wants you, but you're not really into her; you like her friend, Tonya. I think it's best not pursue this. Bob likes Tonya and Mary likes you, and relationships are going to get obliterated. If you pursue Tonya, you lose Bob as a friend. If Tonya pursues you, she loses Mary as a friend. You and Tonya could pursue this this relationship with each other, and your friendships with Bob and Mary may suffer, and will possibly end. What is more important? Your friendship with Bob or pursuing Tonya as a long-term relationship with no guarantees at this point? Tonya needs to make this choice as well. 1
Author nobodyIam Posted March 19, 2017 Author Posted March 19, 2017 Yes,you got it right. My original date fits much much better with my friend than T. They have the same interests in music, pride themselves in the same thing,etc... It's a stupid situation to be in. I guess it's better I remove myself out of this equation.
GoldSparkz Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 Always put friends first in these situations. Because if the relationship with Tonya comes to an end then you've lost her and Bob. Best cut your loses and leave Tonya alone. Just explain to her that you respect your friendship with Bob too much to throw it away for the sake of a girl. 2
act00 Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 Yes,you got it right. My original date fits much much better with my friend than T. They have the same interests in music, pride themselves in the same thing,etc... It's a stupid situation to be in. I guess it's better I remove myself out of this equation. Are you now saying that you think Bob and Mary are a better match? Bob is sweet on Tonya and Mary is sweet on you, and Mary seems to take no interest in Bob, nor Bob to Mary, and it really doesn't matter what you think about their love interests and what should happen. Were you hoping that Bob and Mary would hit it off as a couple so that you and Tonya could pursue your own thing? Wishful thinking. If you and Tonya want to keep your relationships with your friends, you need to not pursue each other. If YOU want to keep your friendship with Bob, YOU will back off of Tonya because you know how he feels about her. Tonya can do what she wants to do with her relationship with Mary, not your business, don't play a role. If you put your friendship with Bob as a higher priority, you will not pursue Tonya because you know how he feels about her. Since Mary has decided she wants to be more than "just friends" with you, you need to separate from Mary as well, since you don't want her the same way.
Author nobodyIam Posted March 19, 2017 Author Posted March 19, 2017 Well, Bob and Mary are better match. He even talks to her all the time, in fact he started talking to her when I went on my first date with her. But it doesnt mater. I dont talk to Tonya outside of when we all hang out together, I found it to be disrespectfull to Bob at the moment. About Mary, I told her straight that I dont have any feelings towards her and it will not change,so I told her it's ok (and for the best) if she doesnt talk to me. But she decided she can be friends with me so I take it this way.
Versacehottie Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 Hmmm, try giving it some time and space. Then when the time is better you can try with T again. right now if she is a decent friend, she should be girl coding it up and not try to get with you out of respect for her friend M. And you the same for your guy friend--though guys seem to be less rigid about this. it could possibly break a friendship forever among girls and she may be hesitant to move forward because of that. It's also not so cool for you to do that to M. But if you pick it up several months from now, each of the people might be onto something else. 1
kendahke Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 We went out with my (male) friend and her (female) friend (call her T) in order to get them to meet each other. Was this the first time you'd met T?
preraph Posted March 20, 2017 Posted March 20, 2017 Lay low. If this woman goes around poking her finger in guys' muscles, nothing she does with your friend is likely to last long. Or you, though, either. 1
Author nobodyIam Posted March 20, 2017 Author Posted March 20, 2017 Was this the first time you'd met T? Yes it was. Lay low. If this woman goes around poking her finger in guys' muscles, nothing she does with your friend is likely to last long. Or you, though, either. Well,it wasnt in this random way. Mary grabed my arm and said something along that I must be working out and then Tonya said she wants to try and grabbed my arm too,she didnt push it after I said I'm not comfortable with it. I wont be trying anything for now. I'll let things go with the flow. Honestly I dont even know if Tonya is interested in me,and it doesnt even matter. We'll see how things play out in few months.
smackie9 Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 Act cool and aloof....will make you more desirable.The harder you are to be caught, the harder they will chase.
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