Bigmess2 Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 My friend introduced me to a guy. He's a cop and works with her husband. Says he's a great guy, amazing with her kids, has his act together, etc... so we all go out together and had an amazing night. We hit it off, he asked for my number and texted me when I got home that night. That was about a month ago since date 1. Since then we text here and there. He always says things like can't wait for another date, how he wants to see me again, and telling me how he's so attracted to me. He's not a huge texter but when he does text it's all positive. He also told my friends husband how when we went out he had a great time and felt we had a lot in common. I went on vacation for a week a few days after we met and he works A LOT which my friend had wanted me about in the beginning. When I got back from my vacation he was working nights so we didn't hang out and then last Sunday he invited me over. We drank wine and talked a lot. Very easy to talk to and he told me how he liked that I was hot and also had a very normal personality. We wound up kissing a lot and basically just doing a lot of touching but we didn't do anything else. The next 2 days that followed we both texted each other all was fine. Tuesday he was telling me how he wants to meet my dog and just making small talk with me and on Wednesday he left to go to Canada until tomorrow for his brothers bachelor party. I haven't heard from him since Tuesday.... I'm interested in him and very attracted and I thought he was too but since he hasn't texted now I'm not so sure... do you think I should give up hope? Or that it could just be he's enjoying his time away and will hopefully text me when he's back? I can't help but keep thinking about it. I don't want to bother him while he's away. Do you think I should text tomorrow when he gets back or wait and see if he reaches out?
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 My friend introduced me to a guy. He's a cop and works with her husband. Says he's a great guy, amazing with her kids, has his act together, etc... so we all go out together and had an amazing night. We hit it off, he asked for my number and texted me when I got home that night. That was about a month ago since date 1. Since then we text here and there. He always says things like can't wait for another date, how he wants to see me again, and telling me how he's so attracted to me. He's not a huge texter but when he does text it's all positive. He also told my friends husband how when we went out he had a great time and felt we had a lot in common. I went on vacation for a week a few days after we met and he works A LOT which my friend had wanted me about in the beginning. When I got back from my vacation he was working nights so we didn't hang out and then last Sunday he invited me over. We drank wine and talked a lot. Very easy to talk to and he told me how he liked that I was hot and also had a very normal personality. We wound up kissing a lot and basically just doing a lot of touching but we didn't do anything else. The next 2 days that followed we both texted each other all was fine. Tuesday he was telling me how he wants to meet my dog and just making small talk with me and on Wednesday he left to go to Canada until tomorrow for his brothers bachelor party. I haven't heard from him since Tuesday.... I'm interested in him and very attracted and I thought he was too but since he hasn't texted now I'm not so sure... do you think I should give up hope? Or that it could just be he's enjoying his time away and will hopefully text me when he's back? I can't help but keep thinking about it. I don't want to bother him while he's away. Do you think I should text tomorrow when he gets back or wait and see if he reaches out? Me personally I would wait. He on vacay let him enjoy. Do what you find enjoyable and don't sweat it. Trust me if he wants get in contact with you he will
Ami1uwant Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 If I read correctly you said he was on travel out of the country. it likely costs extra charges to text internationally. same with calling. wait till he comes back and text him then. 1
hippychick3 Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 The fact that he hasn't ever actually taken you out for a real date is not a good sign. Inviting you to hang out at his house to drink wine is not a date. Him wanting to meet your dog was his way of getting you to invite him to your house next. Until and unless he asks you out on a date, I would not initiate any more communication with him. Keep yourself from getting invested and keep yourself open to dating others. 6
Author Bigmess2 Posted March 18, 2017 Author Posted March 18, 2017 Well our first date he was very gentlemanly. Even though it was with my friend and his coworker we went to a nice dinner and out for drinks and he didn't let me pay for a thing even though I offered.
hippychick3 Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 Well our first date he was very gentlemanly. Even though it was with my friend and his coworker we went to a nice dinner and out for drinks and he didn't let me pay for a thing even though I offered. Since it was a setup by your friend and a first meet, I wouldn't really classify that as him asking you out on a date. Yes, it was gentlemanly of him to pay but not so gentlemanly to invite you to his house the second time you meet. 5
Quiet Storms Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 I wouldn't worry so much about defining "date" vs "not date". And same for him inviting you to his house. Not everything has to be a formal date, at least not to me. He's out of the country on vacation. Relax. Go about your business and don't worry about it. If he is interested, you will hear from him. It's that simple.
TheTraveler Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 The fact that he hasn't ever actually taken you out for a real date is not a good sign. Inviting you to hang out at his house to drink wine is not a date. Him wanting to meet your dog was his way of getting you to invite him to your house next. Until and unless he asks you out on a date, I would not initiate any more communication with him. Keep yourself from getting invested and keep yourself open to dating others. Hippychick knows what's up. And we all know where he's trying to lead this... 3
Tressugar Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 (edited) OP, I apologize in advance for being so blunt, but as a person who works with and professionally deals with law enforcement officers for a long time now (LEO) and I don't trust them as far as I can physically throw him. Now he may be a different breed, but honestly most of them are very jaded, cynical and corrupted...depending how long they have been an officer. A lot of them are players and opportunists. Keep an open mind and consider my mother's words...if they are single there may be for a reason. Edited March 19, 2017 by Tressugar
GoldSparkz Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 I agree with Hippychick on this one. This guy hasn't made any real effort from the beginning as far as initiating dates are concerned and the "not a big texter" excuse is typical for these 'flakey' types. They give you that impression so that they can go cold on you without having to explain themselves. Also showering you with compliments and then not following them up with real dates is a type of 'lovebombing'. With this guy, I would pull away and wait to see what he does to initiate real dates going forward. If you returns from this bachelor party and blows hot and cold then move on. 1
smackie9 Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 You are not getting it.....he hasn't the time to be date you so stop investing in this guy. 1
coolheadal Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 My friend introduced me to a guy. He's a cop and works with her husband. Says he's a great guy, amazing with her kids, has his act together, etc... so we all go out together and had an amazing night. We hit it off, he asked for my number and texted me when I got home that night. That was about a month ago since date 1. Since then we text here and there. He always says things like can't wait for another date, how he wants to see me again, and telling me how he's so attracted to me. He's not a huge texter but when he does text it's all positive. He also told my friends husband how when we went out he had a great time and felt we had a lot in common. I went on vacation for a week a few days after we met and he works A LOT which my friend had wanted me about in the beginning. When I got back from my vacation he was working nights so we didn't hang out and then last Sunday he invited me over. We drank wine and talked a lot. Very easy to talk to and he told me how he liked that I was hot and also had a very normal personality. We wound up kissing a lot and basically just doing a lot of touching but we didn't do anything else. The next 2 days that followed we both texted each other all was fine. Tuesday he was telling me how he wants to meet my dog and just making small talk with me and on Wednesday he left to go to Canada until tomorrow for his brothers bachelor party. I haven't heard from him since Tuesday.... I'm interested in him and very attracted and I thought he was too but since he hasn't texted now I'm not so sure... do you think I should give up hope? Or that it could just be he's enjoying his time away and will hopefully text me when he's back? I can't help but keep thinking about it. I don't want to bother him while he's away. Do you think I should text tomorrow when he gets back or wait and see if he reaches out? Not really interested in you the way you want him to be, plus this wasn't a good way to meet him. You see he's doing other things without you. Do not sit and wait for him. Treat this guy a distant friend for now. Move on and find a man that wants to be with you 100% not a guy like this who doesn't want to spend more time with you. Not really a good situation for you. You know it's not right. Yet you put up with it. Never settle for less than you want out of life. This man might be good otherwise but he's not the man for you. The man for you would have taken you out more, communicate with you 100% and other things that you would deem a relationship. Right now your two are both strangers and leave it as that. Go and find a man that wants to be with you. Do not sit and wait on this man you have met through a friend. Not working. I don't care he's out of the country way are you just waiting on him. Wasting your life on him so many men out there would treat you a lot better than this guy.
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