How do I continue this "friendship" I have without ruining it and overthinking?

[moonchild94]

I don't believe a woman should sit on her tuffet waiting for the guy to contact her. If you like the guy, send him a text for crying out loud. If he doesn't respond, then you have your answer....why wait fretting for a text. If you come off as needy then the guy was never that into you in the first place.

 

Maybe he felt you were not interested because you paid for your half of the date. Oh my goodness now it just gets even worse! lol *rolleyes*

 

I'll wait until later after I do things for myself today.

I know forsure on our hangout he can tell I'm very mature for my age.

So idk if he can handle that or not.

We will see... it's the waiting game all over again.

[rester]

Is this the same guy you've been writing about in your last 5 threads?

[d0nnivain]

If Rester is spot on and this is the guy from your last 5 threads I think you may be way ahead of yourself. (I gotta remember to review the history before answering Qs)

 

 

He rescheduled on you 3 times. He told you he doesn't want anything serious. A stead stream of texting & a 1 hour meeting doesn't change that. When you make this really easy for him -- allowing him to sit on his phone & text you -- he's happy to play along. Now that he's been somewhere . . . he's not exactly all about effort.

 

 

I do think you may need to downshift.

 

 

Also I withdraw my advice to send Happy St. Patrick's Day. Instead sit back & see if he makes any effort. I suspect he won't. That will be your answer.

[moonchild94]

If Rester is spot on and this is the guy from your last 5 threads I think you may be way ahead of yourself. (I gotta remember to review the history before answering Qs)

 

 

He rescheduled on you 3 times. He told you he doesn't want anything serious. A stead stream of texting & a 1 hour meeting doesn't change that. When you make this really easy for him -- allowing him to sit on his phone & text you -- he's happy to play along. Now that he's been somewhere . . . he's not exactly all about effort.

 

 

I do think you may need to downshift.

 

 

Also I withdraw my advice to send Happy St. Patrick's Day. Instead sit back & see if he makes any effort. I suspect he won't. That will be your answer.

 

Wait, he didn't reschedule on me 3 times.

He rescheduled once due to his moms surgery.

I rescheduled the 2nd time due to my schedule.

We finally met yesterday after texting for the whole 3 weeks.

I don't make any efforts he's always the one texting me first but initiated the hangout. I will wait and see because I did my part.

It was a 3 hour meeting not 1 hour.. which doesn't make a difference but I'm saying. This meeting wasn't as nervous because I didn't expect much. I was myself and he didn't jump up and leave/be rude. We just talked.

But again he doesn't make that "effort"...

If he doesn't then it's his loss because I think I was pretty cool to hangout with and it would suck not to get to know me. *shrug*

[moonchild94]

Is this the same guy you've been writing about in your last 5 threads?

 

Rested he is the guy I made the posts about texting and him rescheduling due to his moms surgery. We did meet in person so he wasn't all talk but this was the outcome of the hangout. I kept it as CASUAL as possible. I showed no date signs, I paid for my own meal and we just talked.

 

But I thought he showed interest because he said we were very similar at the dinner table and then he double texted me to make sure I got home safe but idk. We were drinking so maybe it was just for politeness. So idk if he's just going to disappear or continue our friendship we had.

[moonchild94]

Update: He texted me saying he had a good time as well.

Let's see how this goes and if he plans anything later on..

[d0nnivain]

Glad you got the outcome you wanted!

[VeveCakes]

Update: He texted me saying he had a good time as well.

Let's see how this goes and if he plans anything later on..

 

Great! :)

[Redhead14]

I don't want to seem needy though?

Or too excited is the thing?

i want to take my time but I don't want to seem disinterested.

 

Sending 1 text isn't going to come off as needy -- sending 10 texts in a row would.

 

Aside from that, sit back a little. Let him reach out to you again. Let the man lead for the first few dates, then you can do some initiating.

 

He didn't text you this morning . . . so what? See what happens later. Or, there's nothing wrong with you reaching out later since you have been exchanging texts for some time now anyway. If you reach out first, let it sit and wait for him to respond. If he doesn't respond, you keep letting it sit . . .

[moonchild94]

Everything has been ok so far. We text each other everyday. We've met in person once with talk about meeting a second time. He always says I'm awesome, hilarious or fun. But I'm always the one initiating hangouts however he intiates the texting. I'm a bit nervous because if he's texting so much.. what does that mean?

We both told each other what we wanted out of this.

His exact words are: Mostly something serious but not in a rush for anything.

Mine is: Looking for more but I'm ok with being friends first.

 

So I'm not sure where we stand right now.

We obviously get along.

I'm starting to like him.

Not a lot but like I want to hold hands and kiss him kind of way.

Idk if he feels the same too.

 

I notice that when we hung out he said we are very similar, he doesn't bring up anything sexual, and we just have fun.

 

I don't want to be an option because how this is going I may like him more and I don't want it to be one sided like the every other guy I'm involved with was. When I ask him to hangout he says sure and yes to everything.. even if it's a girly cafe. I always overthink and rush and analyze and it's the death of everything I do. I'm being patient and trying to understand things now.

 

How should I continue this?

Should I ask him if he sees going on dates with me?

Or if he's seeing anyone at the moment?

He DOES NOT intiate hang outs or dates with me yet which makes me nervous.

[mikeylo]

Try not initiating the next time and see if he does ?

 

Are you feeling sexual tension? That should tell a lot.

[moonchild94]

Try not initiating the next time and see if he does ?

 

Are you feeling sexual tension? That should tell a lot.

 

He just initiated texting today but nothing else.

I replied like always.....

Now he's not texting.

I think I'm becoming needy and now I'm waiting on him a lot and I dont like that at all. Idk what to do....

 

I do feel a little sexual tension.

[moonchild94]

Try not initiating the next time and see if he does ?

 

Are you feeling sexual tension? That should tell a lot.

 

I just told him I would text him later and I'm not going to text him for a while. I just feel like he's not interested in me like I'm interested in him.

[moonchild94]

What does that mean?

 

He said: I guess we are more than "just friends". I'd like it if we were more than that.

 

I told him it doesnt seem like he would because he never invites me out.

We talked and he said he did but I pushed the date back so he thought I was busy.

 

He says he likes that I told him what's on my mind and said maybe we can do something this week.

 

We are supposed to meet Wednesday...

But I'm not sure if this is good or not...

I don't want to be swayed too easily.

I'm nervous that he's playing around or drunk or something.

I havent heard from him today either so that's making me even more nervous.....

 

Is this normal?

[CaliforniaGirl]

He could be shy/hesitant. I say, give this a shot. It took a lot of guts for him even to come out with "I'd like us to be more than just friends."

 

Go SLOWLY, don't take this as a wedding proposal, have wild donkey sex on the first date and then be crushed afterward if it turns out he wanted something casual. But do give it a shot if you're having feelings for him. See what the first few dates hold.

[CaliforniaGirl]

He could be shy/hesitant. I say, give this a shot. It took a lot of guts for him even to come out with "I'd like us to be more than just friends."

 

Go SLOWLY, don't take this as a wedding proposal, have wild donkey sex on the first date and then be crushed afterward if it turns out he wanted something casual. But do give it a shot if you're having feelings for him. See what the first few dates hold.

 

ETA: It looks like at least two threads were merged, or maybe three. OP, you need to stick with one thread because without the background my answers might have been completely different. (???)

 

I was going through this thread thinking "Huh?" to the varying answers and now I see that it's all the same guy with you stating certain problems on some of the threads, but leaving those out entirely on others...

[moonchild94]

He could be shy/hesitant. I say, give this a shot. It took a lot of guts for him even to come out with "I'd like us to be more than just friends."

 

Go SLOWLY, don't take this as a wedding proposal, have wild donkey sex on the first date and then be crushed afterward if it turns out he wanted something casual. But do give it a shot if you're having feelings for him. See what the first few dates hold.

 

Do you really think it took a lot for him to say it?

Idk... I mean hes a nice guy from what I saw.

He hasn't said anything sexual or touched me in any way.

I'm trying to go slowly but I'm so impatient and I get highly nervous and anxious he might change his mind and leave me in the dust. That's what I'm afraid of.

Is this considered a date on Wednesday? I do not know how to date at all... I've only had one bf and he used me for my naiveness.

[moonchild94]

ETA: It looks like at least two threads were merged, or maybe three. OP, you need to stick with one thread because without the background my answers might have been completely different. (???)

 

I was going through this thread thinking "Huh?" to the varying answers and now I see that it's all the same guy with you stating certain problems on some of the threads, but leaving those out entirely on others...

 

Idk how to merge threads.

 

Yes this is the same guy I've been talking to for a month that slowly does things right as we go further but idk if I'm getting played. I do not want to get played. I have high anxiety and idk if I can handle that. He hasn't texted me today which is weird. Now I'm thinking he is messing around with me.

[Robert]

Moderation merged 4 threads for context. Please update this thread rather than starting new ones. Thanks. ~6

[CaliforniaGirl]

Idk how to merge threads.

 

Yes this is the same guy I've been talking to for a month that slowly does things right as we go further but idk if I'm getting played. I do not want to get played. I have high anxiety and idk if I can handle that. He hasn't texted me today which is weird. Now I'm thinking he is messing around with me.

 

Considering all four threads and your amount of questions and amount of times you've said you don't want to be played by him/you feel he may not be into it, I have to say that it doesn't seem like this is a good association for you. It makes you nothing but insecure, frightened and suspicious.

[preraph]

Just as an incidental note, a guy who does smoke pot a lot may not want a girlfriend who doesn't at all. I'm not asking if you do, just an fyi.

[moonchild94]

Considering all four threads and your amount of questions and amount of times you've said you don't want to be played by him/you feel he may not be into it, I have to say that it doesn't seem like this is a good association for you. It makes you nothing but insecure, frightened and suspicious.

 

Given that my suspicion was correct he ghosted me...

or he's avoiding me now..

I haven't heard from him today. So I'm guessing I scared him off or he said things he didn't mean to..? Or he got scared? Idk.

I don't see why he couldn't just say the truth?

I asked why was he texting me everyday... like what was the point?

Especially if we met on a dating website.

If he wanted to be just friends for now say you want to be "just friends"

I had a panic attack today just because of it. I tried hard to be patient and show my vulnerable side but it wasn't enough... again.

[moonchild94]

Just as an incidental note, a guy who does smoke pot a lot may not want a girlfriend who doesn't at all. I'm not asking if you do, just an fyi.

 

Yeah maybe. He asked if I've ever done drugs and I told him no. He then asked me why. I said I didn't want to and my body probably can't handle it... I have done weed but nothing extreme.

so I could be boring or something. I've been asked before if I do drugs and guys rejected me because I don't do them.

Guys you would never suspect reject me because I don't do certain things and it sucks.... they say I'm fun but it's never enough.