Risha7 Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 So here i am after the break up which happened about 2 weeks ago.After the desperate messages i send him 3 weeks ago. Now i can completely control myself to not make any effort to contact him anymore.i don't call him or accidentally bumping into him.basically he have no idea what I'm doing in my life ofc I'm in NO contact for my own good.for the past 3 days i felt good bout myself.I can feel the positive vibe around me.I don't cry anymore thinking the past,no sad songs I'm just going with the flow.but then sometime i get the feeling that he wants to call me.this tricky because its not me who thinks he will call its likes suddenly I'm feeling but ofc i don't get call from him hahaha !! And I'm also feeling like this doesn't end i mean the relationship although we broke up!! Can anyone tell me why i feel this way? I feel a connection towards him !! 2 weeks before i felt like he missing me and he messaged hi but then he covered it by saying sorry wrongly send. Why i feel this way towards him ?
teddyzain Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 If I understand you correctly I know how you feel. My ex-fiance left me after I was diagnosed with a serious illness. All I could think was how the hell she could do that to me?! So, I suppose I engaged in wishful thinking, sitting there imagining she wanted to check in, as if I was reading her mind. I suppose it's our brain trying to ease our torment. Who knows. But if your ex dumped you and you have made it clear you want him back and he hasn't taken you back then you have to try to accept that. Time heals all wounds. Week one I was suicidal now I'm just angry and trying to go forward with life. It sucks but what can you do but suck it up, vent with those who will listen, and wait for time to pass. All the best
Altair0770 Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 Sorry to hear that teddy... and to the OP as well. Basically I felt the same way. My ex has PTSD. Met her online, flew to her place after 4 months of "online dating". When we met, I triggered her (relationships in general are a trigger. She was diagnosed when she talked to a crush and had a panic attack). I went through hell for 3 months while we were still "together". She treated me so bad as a reaction to her PTSD and being rather mentally unstable. After 3 months I convinced her to go to therapy, and she broke up with me the day before she went. For 2 months I was stuck in the denial stage as well. It didn't feel like it was over (and me being stupid saw how terrible she was doing by peeking at her social media). Felt like she needed me. Right after the breakup I had to go to the crisis center, be put on meds, and nearly attempted suicide multiple times. Luckily I had friends and family that were very supportive and I wasn't shy about my feelings of suicide. The stuck feeling you have now is the denial stage. He may be thinking he wants to call you or text you, but you won't know unless he actually does. Not when, but if. It will take time to exit the denial stage. Basically people go by the stages of grief. Denial - Bargaining - Anger - Depression - Acceptance. Obviously not the case for everyone, and nor is there any real order (besides acceptance being the last).
breadbin Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 When my ex dumped me - nearly 5 months ago I was reading up on the human emotions and the grief process and i read all about the stages of grief. I had convinced myself on the first day after that I had gone through all stages and it was gonna be grand. Roll on 5 months later and I guess I am just coming out of the denial stage...again. I went through all stages for real but when she contacts me for whatever reason I go back to the denial stage after a bit of false hope about getting back together. I would suggest no contact is the best way to get yourself to a healthy happy place. It's alot easier said than done. I joined these forums too late and although my friends and family were giving me good advice it helped me so much reading the stories on here similar to mine. Keep up the good work with the no contact. Maybe share a few details as to how long you were together and why he ended it? Sounds a bit childish to text you and then say he sent it in error. I guess he wants to see if you are doing ok. If he cares about you he won't want you to be hurting because he probably blames himself. Or then again if he is angry and hurt he might be doing it on purpose to hurt you. It's hard to know.
Author Risha7 Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 When my ex dumped me - nearly 5 months ago I was reading up on the human emotions and the grief process and i read all about the stages of grief. I had convinced myself on the first day after that I had gone through all stages and it was gonna be grand. Roll on 5 months later and I guess I am just coming out of the denial stage...again. I went through all stages for real but when she contacts me for whatever reason I go back to the denial stage after a bit of false hope about getting back together. I would suggest no contact is the best way to get yourself to a healthy happy place. It's alot easier said than done. I joined these forums too late and although my friends and family were giving me good advice it helped me so much reading the stories on here similar to mine. Keep up the good work with the no contact. Maybe share a few details as to how long you were together and why he ended it? Sounds a bit childish to text you and then say he sent it in error. I guess he wants to see if you are doing ok. If he cares about you he won't want you to be hurting because he probably blames himself. Or then again if he is angry and hurt he might be doing it on purpose to hurt you. It's hard to know. Breadbin we were together for almost 6 years. From high school n had a break up then back together after 1.5 years.since 2014 we never had break up like the serious one.this time he is 9 hour distance from me.he was doing good till last month and suddenly demand freedom and space said to leave alone.and to completely make me out of his life he lied to me he likes someone else and alrdy showed her to family which made me suspicious because the last time he came hometown i was still with him.i understood that he just want to be free from me heis a very stubborn guy so whenever he is angry his only intention to hurt me.he never said the word break up but asked me to leave him alone and not to question him anything bout His sudden change. Although he miss me he will never show it.he is that type of guy.When i was in last week NC he was still reacting to my posts in fb but then he himself unfriended me which later i thought he had problem moving on.he hasnt block me on WhatsApp.I never know what happen to him.about 4 months ago he said that no one can replace me in his life but yet he used the word i have new gf please leave me to make me leave him.maybe he thought I'm clingy he knows that I'm a strong woman even i know but what can i do when he became my weakness
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