Guys: Could you ever forgive your girlfriend if they were to punch/slap you?

[ZayKayWill]

In the face, body, whatever? If they were to do a few body shots I may be able to look past that...slap or punch me in the face, though? Automatic dealbreaker.

[neowulf]

In the face, body, whatever? If they were to do a few body shots I may be able to look past that...slap or punch me in the face, though? Automatic dealbreaker.

 

If a gf ever struck me in anger, with real intent to injure me? Yeah sorry, door is that way.

 

People who lash out like that in anger *always* escalate. If I can avoid smacking my gf's around when I get pissed off, they can show me the same courtesy.

 

Zero time for that garbage.

[todreaminblue]

no one should hit someone in anger theres play fighting and then theres antagonism....if you hit a guy its the same whether female or male expect to be hit back.....punching a male is the same as punching a female.....and to me kidney shots on a person are to disable not to play fight either....no body shots no headshots...no shots at all...as said play fighting is different....

 

 

training together is also with pads and head gear...even then ...wouldnt be comfortable with a guy kicking me in the head or aiming for my face......only people who really want to hurt me have done that and i have never aimed for a guys head training either...i aim for the mitts or blocker...i have with a kick aimed at a pad....knocked a guy off his feet....and punching unhinged a punching bag.....i dont punch people.........when i play fight i am more likely to wrestle punching people can get dicey real quick...no one deserves that..my punches hurt...most females if riled can pack a punch.....doesnt mean they should..because they can..if a guy si in your face pushing him away from you is a better option and cooling off for both.....unless it is to try to escape in self defense..adn the only way is to go for the kncok out........punches can kill....and if you punch get ready for the reply....female or not.....deb

Edited March 17, 2017 by todreaminblue

[KBob]

Yep, violence is a swinging door, and it doesn't matter whose walking through it.

[dichotomy]

I have been punched many times by women - in the face and body, elbows, knee, and even hit with a stick. Of course that was at my MMA school.

 

But seriously - my wife twice in my marriage has back handed me in the stomach when she was very angry. It was connected to negative emotions and that was not healthy.

 

I sometimes wish I could have a passionate spirited and light fighting tousle in the bedroom with a female. Its the intent and spirit of the thing.

Edited March 17, 2017 by dichotomy

[gaius]

Are you worried about her knocking you out or something?

[Woggle]

Nope. Violence is not part of any healthy relationship.

[ZayKayWill]

Are you worried about her knocking you out or something?

 

*le sigh* question was hypothetical. Lol

[d0nnivain]

Violence can't be excused or justified no matter who is the aggressor.

 

 

Would you ever ask a woman if she could forgive some guy who hit her? Of course not. Too many do forgive but it's not right. A man shouldn't put up with that treatment either.

 

 

While I don't believe in violence, even as a woman if a woman hits a man, I think he can defend himself even if that means hitting her back & it shouldn't be held against him, the victim.

[stillafool]

 

While I don't believe in violence, even as a woman if a woman hits a man, I think he can defend himself even if that means hitting her back & it shouldn't be held against him, the victim.

 

I completely agree with this.

[central]

I might forgive her, but would never have anything more to do with her once she got out of jail.

 

 

It's no more acceptable for a woman to hit a man, than it is for a man to hit a women - other than self-defense.

[CptInsano]

While I don't believe in violence, even as a woman if a woman hits a man, I think he can defend himself even if that means hitting her back & it shouldn't be held against him, the victim.

 

Sorry, but I have to disagree with this. Even defending himself will be interpreted as a form of violence from his side. He simply needs to get out of there. (Aside from the fact that many men simply won't use force against a woman, no matter what.)

Edited March 17, 2017 by CptInsano

[Shanex]

Violence in a relationship is unacceptable, yep even when it's the dude getting beat on or even a mere slap..

 

It did happen to me with my first girlfriends when I was just 18, in her defense I was being a total ass (you know at that age) and she punched me! Wow, Ok I'll stop now honey...

 

Violence is never a solution to disputes and feuds, in the case of my then relationship with that girl yeah I have forgiven her because I was somewhat in love and didn't really have any other options around so I kept her.

 

Lesson learned, don't be an ass and I'll not punch you.

[WaitingForBardot]

Sorry, but I have to disagree with this. Even defending himself will be interpreted as a form of violence from his side. He simply needs to get out of there. (Aside from the fact that many men simply won't use force against a woman, no matter what.)

This happens quite a bit actually, with the man facing domestic violence charges, and all their consequences, as a result. Women are typically perceived as the victim in most of these kinds of cases, even when they were the initial aggressor. Not always, but usually.

 

Violence not for the immediate needs of self-defense is a hard and fast deal breaker for me. Whether perpetrated by women or men, one event is enough for me. Even when you're not the target, hanging around people prone to violence is not a recipe for good health and a long life.

[somanymistakes]

I think I (accidentally? it was confusing) whapped someone I was dating on the head once (not in the face, and not particularly hard, but it was still 'in anger' and I felt fairly bad about it). Certainly never escalated.

 

A slap to the face is usually intended as a gesture of 'I never want to see you again', isn't it? I'd think it being over at that point was the whole idea.

[somanymistakes]

This happens quite a bit actually, with the man facing domestic violence charges, and all their consequences, as a result. Women are typically perceived as the victim in most of these kinds of cases, even when they were the initial aggressor. Not always, but usually.

 

It goes both ways really. Whoever started it, if the person being attacked responds with more force (or more damage) than the initial attack, they are likely to get punished for it. So yeah, you see cases where a woman slaps a man, he punches her back, and he gets charged with DV... but you also see cases where a man is beating the crap out of a woman, she picks up a weapon to defend herself and ends up killing him, and gets charged with murder. In both cases MAYBE the retaliator will get off if the jury is sympathetic but not always.

[WaitingForBardot]

It goes both ways really. Whoever started it, if the person being attacked responds with more force (or more damage) than the initial attack, they are likely to get punished for it. So yeah, you see cases where a woman slaps a man, he punches her back, and he gets charged with DV... but you also see cases where a man is beating the crap out of a woman, she picks up a weapon to defend herself and ends up killing him, and gets charged with murder. In both cases MAYBE the retaliator will get off if the jury is sympathetic but not always.

The key is being able to describe (to a jury) why one felt endangered and needed to act in self defense. I don't think a single slap rises to that level. OTOH, a continuous onslaught of slaps, scratching, etc., likely would. And yet even in such circumstances men are usually regarded as the aggressor unless great bodily harm is actually inflicted on them.

 

As you point out though, it really depends on the prosecutor, jury, locale,...

[CptInsano]

The key is being able to describe (to a jury) why one felt endangered and needed to act in self defense.

 

Yes, and the self-defense needs to be proportionate to the threat. And herein lies the rub for men defending themselves against women, unless a woman attacks the man with some form of weapon, the man is assumed to be physically stronger than the woman. A woman punching a guy in the gut may result in a distinctly different outcome compared to a guy punching the woman. A guy may not be able to justify a similar action in order to defend himself.

 

This logic is why senior citizens usually win self defense claims, because their frailty implies that almost any force used against them might be deadly, hence very strong means of self defense are justified.

 

As a guy, you better just extract yourself from the situation as fast as you can.

[WaitingForBardot]

Yes, and the self-defense needs to be proportionate to the threat. And herein lies the rub for men defending themselves against women, unless a woman attacks the man with some form of weapon, the man is assumed to be physically stronger than the woman. A woman punching a guy in the gut may result in a distinctly different outcome compared to a guy punching the woman. A guy may not be able to justify a similar action in order to defend himself.

 

This logic is why senior citizens usually win self defense claims, because their frailty implies that almost any force used against them might be deadly, hence very strong means of self defense are justified.

 

As a guy, you better just extract yourself from the situation as fast as you can.

In fact, the best course of action for any situation that might turn violent. How does it go: There are no winners in a violent confrontation, only various levels of losers.

 

I actually fundamentally disagree with the whole proportional defense argument when one is subject to an unprovoked attack. If I am attacked, and fear for my safety/well being, I should be able to defend myself as I deem necessary until the attack is stopped. I will agree that continuing to attack someone after their attack has been stopped is a different matter. As is any altercation that you yourself precipitated or in which you were a willing/mutual participant. Cases such as these should be prosecuted.

[thefooloftheyear]

Its never happened in my life......Well...Not anyone I have ever been with...Years ago a gf farted on me while I was sleeping...She did it as a joke though...

 

When I was bouncing at clubs, I have had women try to hit me(maybe they did-it was a long time ago), but that doesn't count, they weren't anyone to me, other than people that needed to be put outside..

 

It's weird, though...I get a bit of a turn on when I see women get angry to a point of getting physical-mostly to other women.....I can't explain why, it just does.... I know...strange..

 

TFY

[ChatroomHero]

Happened to me once. 100% her fault due to issues of her I won't get into, but she tried to take something from my hand and punched me in the side of the face and scratched my neck with her nails.

 

 

My first thought was that the state she was in she could call the cops, show a mark on her hand, my neck was bleeding, and the cops probably would have dragged me to jail because "something happened" and pretty much the guy goes to jail. My only saving grace might have been proof of what she was trying to take from my hand, but if she had called I probably would have been arrested for getting hit. $10,000 later I might have been able to prove my case in court and then again they might not have really cared.

 

 

For me that was it. Total deal breaker. A woman that will do that easily knows if I do anything or even if I don't, they can call the cops and I'd go to jail. It would have been very easy for her to scratch her arm and say I did it, whatever.

 

 

As a guy if that happens I think you expose yourself to so much and the woman has little to lose so you need to get away asap.

[preraph]

If the violence is out of anger and not just play fighting, then of course you shouldn't stay in that relationship, and of course no one doing that should have children. An anger management course might help but it wouldn't cure the worst cases. What anger management will do is make you embarrassed to act out because the main reason most people act out like that is childish fear. But again, not all of them. Some are just sadist or sociopaths and lack empathy and just want to control.

 

I used to have some knockdown dragouts with one of my unusual boyfriends but we enjoyed it and it was just play fighting, clothing being the main victim.

[WomenWubber]

Unforgivable to me.

[dragon_fly_7]

It goes both ways really. Whoever started it, if the person being attacked responds with more force (or more damage) than the initial attack, they are likely to get punished for it. So yeah, you see cases where a woman slaps a man, he punches her back, and he gets charged with DV... but you also see cases where a man is beating the crap out of a woman, she picks up a weapon to defend herself and ends up killing him, and gets charged with murder. In both cases MAYBE the retaliator will get off if the jury is sympathetic but not always.

There is a major difference in both cases. The man's life wasn't threatened by a single slap from a woman. He had the option of walking away and reporting it but instead chose to respond to a slap with a closed fist. That's not self-defense but retaliation and excessive force. He could have hurt the woman badly.

 

In the other example, the woman had to get a weapon to stop him from beating her up more because she was really in fear of her life but not in ''Oh yeah, I'll teach you a lesson now'' retaliatory reply.

 

Now if a man was literally getting chocked by a woman to the point he's running out of breath and he had to punch her once to get her off him before getting away then that's self-defense.

Edited March 17, 2017 by dragon_fly_7

[KBob]

I actually fundamentally disagree with the whole proportional defense argument when one is subject to an unprovoked attack. If I am attacked, and fear for my safety/well being, I should be able to defend myself as I deem necessary until the attack is stopped. I will agree that continuing to attack someone after their attack has been stopped is a different matter. As is any altercation that you yourself precipitated or in which you were a willing/mutual participant. Cases such as these should be prosecuted.

 

Thats right. Any proven fighter can tell you that if you get the drop on someone and land even a couple well placed punches that they don't see coming, the fight could be over before it begins. There are many variables to fighting that don't make physical proportion such a cut and dry fact.