Have you ever gone out with a friend and completely ruined the friendship?

[xxgreen20]

I was very good friends with a girl I work with for about 10 months and then I started having feelings for her, asked her out and we started dating. When we were friends, we did many things together. We went out for 4 months before she dumped me, and she dumped me for another guy. She was also a terrible girlfriend for the last month of the relationship, and she wouldn't post pictures of us to social media, pulled her hand away every time I tried to hold it, always said maybe to hanging out, and was just miserable with me. Then, she lost her feelings for me in August but didn't bother to tell me until a month later, dumped me through a mutual friend, and started dating another guy a week later. She even wanted to be friends. But I said no and we haven't spoken since, and I never intend to speak to her again after the way she strung me along and then kicked me to the curb. Being her boyfriend also revealed some qualities in her that I wouldn't want in a friend, so I'm much healthier without her. So anyway, I have learned a lesson NOT to date friends. Have you guys ever dated a friend, and how did it turn out?

Edited March 17, 2017 by xxgreen20

[todreaminblue]

I normally find by dating friends that after a break up and a little time depending on the intensity of the split.....we go back to being friends.....dating i normally do from friends.....all my relationships are over six months...from friendship.......i make it obvious the friendship is no longer friendship but intimate.....and when exclusive posting pictures on face book is ok ..not a fan of photos much but if a guy wanted to i wouldnt stop him....that includes sharing to my page..i am open about a boyfriend if i have one.......im sorry you have found moving from friends and after too hard

 

using people at all friends or not isnt right...beign dishonest isnt right...adn i think with friends first before dating you get to see enough of a person to feel safe ......i think beign a guys friend first allows them to know me better...the only time i couldnt handle friendship with a guy is if i am interested and they dont reciprocate.....i mean that to be also reciprocated friendship[....like ignore me or not talk to me and pretend like i dont exist ......i can deal with unrequited love .it hurts...but my caring overrides my hurt...i want to see them happy.......but not ignorance.....it gets to a point where the hurt is too much...the confusion so i let go and stop trying......

 

i make a good friend...and there are those that know that...im loyal....and i care....for those that put up with me.....i am extremely loyal.....and im there for them....they are there for me

 

thats friendship.....and i find it easy to transition to dating from friendship aand it normally goes exclusive relationship pretty quickly....the knowing you/dating phase is shorter....once i feel safe with the guy i intend on dating..and i feel he is in it for the long run........i find it easier and have long term relationships..........

 

so maybe you shouldnt give up on dating from friends..just that oneparticular one yes give up on her..........and just open your heart and your mind...dont close off because one person did the wrong thing by you...you could miss out on someone special.... and that would be a shame....best wishes.....deb

[preraph]

Yes. I was close friends with a married guy I worked retail with and also was involved a little with his band business and friends with his whole band, really, like family in some ways. It was a friendship I really enjoyed. Then something happened and he and his wife separated (she cheated but I didn't know that for some time - he didn't tell me why). I was just off a heartbreaking breakup and betrayal with a guy I loved and my oldest female friend sleeping with him and I was devastated. It was only like 3 months after that the platonic band guy friend insisted upon us getting together. He had other female interests (which I knew because I was his friend) that he also always liked but he said I was the one he wanted to be with the most. I told him it wasn't a good time, and I told him he ought to date others first and maybe later I'd be more in the mood, and I also didn't understand why his marriage broke up at the time, but he was just very persistent.

 

It didn't last long, a few months. I was relieved when we broke up but I would have just liked to go back to being just friends and wouldn't have minded at all if he dated others right in the same room with me. But he could never get past the resentment of me not wanting to stay with him I guess. We would see each other around town, of course, and sometimes through business and be friendly, but it was never a real friendship again, so I really regretted giving in on that. I had done it because it was hot on the heels of me loving and losing, and conventional wisdom at the time, though I never subscribed to it really, was friends first, so I thought it would be terrible to not at least try. But it was a mistake.

[Hoosfoos]

I slept with a friend 6 years ago, we both had escalating feelings for each other until we banged. She wanted to be "more than friends" as she claimed that night, she backed out of it the next day, I lost all respect for her, things were never the same after, I haven't seen much of her since and I doubt I'll see her again.

[marky00]

in the end, even romantic relations still involve a very large friend component. That's why breakups are so hard.

 

 

Every BU ruins a friendship regardless of when the friendship started.

 

 

I guess what your saying is regards to the situation where it was probably a mistake to get involved because it was never going to work and thus destroying a friendship for no perceived gain.

[d0nnivain]

I was friends with a guy for about a year. We dated for 12 years & lived together for 10. We don't speak any more.

 

 

My cousin married his BFF from college. They had a very ugly divorce.

 

 

Don't swear off dating friends because sometimes love is "friendship that caught fire" and it can be amazing. However, it can be doubly painful when the relationship ends.

 

 

10 month friendship vs 4 months dating makes the girl in this post a lousy GF but it doesn't really make her a bad friend

[xxgreen20]

in the end, even romantic relations still involve a very large friend component. That's why breakups are so hard.

 

 

Every BU ruins a friendship regardless of when the friendship started.

 

 

I guess what your saying is regards to the situation where it was probably a mistake to get involved because it was never going to work and thus destroying a friendship for no perceived gain.

 

I completely agree with you. Unless the breakup was completely mutual or there are mandatory reasons to stay in contact, I don't believe in being friends with exes, regardless of whether or not you were friends before.