hannahba Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 this is eating at me and I'd really like the opinions of some other people. last july I started dating a guy and we only dated for two months. we had a LOT of problems (neither of us cheated though). we continued talking on & off for the next 5 months, not really hanging out, seeing other people (& getting jealous), drunk texting at 4 am telling me he loved me sometimes, coming over at 2 am and spending the night sometimes, etc. about a month and a half ago we started hanging out regularly again after a month of not talking at all. he called me around 2 am telling me to come over to his house, so I did. he was very drunk and kept telling me he loved me and that he wanted to get back together. I ignored it and told him to ask me when he was sober. he never did. since then we have solved the issues we were having previously and now we text all day every day and hang out regularly, he calls me boo all the time and sometimes babe. sometimes he even says he loves me (sober) but not often. he brings me around his friends and doesn't try to hide me, but he no longer posts pictures of me on social media like he used to. also, this time, he does not call me his girlfriend. he calls me "his boo". we are both exclusive and get mad at the idea of the other person talking to/hanging out with other people. does anyone have any idea what is going on here? any guys able to decipher this? I really don't want to bring it up and ask and make things awkward if he doesn't have any intention of "dating" me.. we do almost everything couples do but I cant tell if he's just using me. Im completely in love with him. he knows that I would date him if he asked so its not that he thinks I dont want to, because he knows. please give me advice as to what to do or help me decipher this. its tearing me apart. we're both 20.
Telemachus Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Exclusive but not dating. Well, ask him out. All you need is a commitment to be a particular place, at a particular time, to do a particular thing - that's a date. Invite him. Be specific. If he accepts and shows up, you're dating. If you want him to refer to you to others as his "girlfriend," ask him to. It's a yes/no. If you're completely in love with him, you should be able to ask him on a date and ask him to identify you as his girlfriend. People who hardly know each other are capable of that kind of conversation, and all it takes is one to initiate. Be that one. You have to go after what you want in this life. You can't wait for others to figure out what it is you want, and then bring it to you. 1
preraph Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Well, the 2 a.m. phone call was a booty call, really. Now, whether he misses you or misses the sex, who can tell. But if you have questions, ask them. Find out if you're going to be exclusive or not.
bluefeather Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 I really don't want to bring it up and ask and make things awkward... So you'd rather be in limbo like this? It sounds like you're being used like a toy.
spiderowl Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Men usually want to be exclusive, as in sexually, because they don't like the idea of sharing a girl with another guy. Exclusivity does not mean commitment from them though, it just means they want to keep you to themselves but are not promising anything. If you want to know if he thinks you are his girlfriend, you need to ask. But if he says no, how will you feel? Would you be prepared to walk away if this relationship is not going the way you want it to? These are all things to think about.
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