shahjskalio Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Dated a guy for 5 months and he was still swiping on tinder. Is it wrong that I was mad at him? And all he said was it's a game to him and he just swipes when he's bored at work. Isn't this not right?? Am I right for getting really upset??
Space Ritual Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 People put a lot of stock in Tinder apparently. I'v never used it but I've never felt a need to. That being said as long as you've been dating. Being tinder is a bang app, his excuse s flimsy at bet. I doubt he will stop. You might as well find another boyfriend. If he says he is doing it because he s bored, he is doing it in reality because he wants to know if he can get laid or not by somebody who isn't you. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 People do use it solely as an ego boost. There was a study done recently where a huge % of men swiped but never talked to a single woman. That being said, I wouldn't be cool with it in an exclusive rship. If he won't take it down when it's bothering you, you have every right to be upset. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 If he's saying his just swiping for boredom..ask him if you can have a looksee..that you wanna see all his hot matches. 1
Author shahjskalio Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 If he's saying his just swiping for boredom..ask him if you can have a looksee..that you wanna see all his hot matches. He also changed his tinder pic. I stopped talking to him, im done with him. 3
GoldSparkz Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 He also changed his tinder pic. I stopped talking to him, im done with him. Good for you! Dating for 5 months and he's still swiping...biggest red flag!! 2
anzhoulau Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 He never swipes for no reason, there's all other things to do when he feels bored, Candy Crush might be a good choice. Dont trust his b******t.
Miss Spider Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 (edited) From Reddit; " My boyfriend and I first got together in the Summer, and we’ve been exclusive for a few months now (had the whole “what are we doing” talk and everything). For the most part things have been really great, and I sometimes can’t believe how lucky I am to be in a serious relationship with someone so amazing. I won’t bother going into specifics as I don’t think they’re relevant, but long story short I am happier than I’ve ever been with anyone else. That being said, something happened over the weekend that has me concerned… I stayed over at his place on Friday night, and in the morning he was on his phone when I noticed that he had Tinder installed. I was obviously taken aback by it and asked why he still had Tinder on his phone (I knew he had it when we first started dating but assumed he would have deleted it by now)… I could tell he was nervous and didn’t immediately know how to respond. He then tells me that he isn’t using it to meet anyone, he just likes to see who he gets matched with as it helps him feel more confident about himself. He opens it up and shows me his message history—sure enough he hasn’t said a word to any of his matches, although some of them have tried starting a conversation with him. He promises that he has no interest in pursuing anyone else, and that it just makes him feel good to know that these girls are attracted to him. tl;dr: Boyfriend claims he is using Tinder just to help with his confidence." So he might just have had really messed up self confidence, OP! And uses it as unhealthy way to get validation. Cuz that's so much better! /sarcasm Edited March 16, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
Author shahjskalio Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 From Reddit; " My boyfriend and I first got together in the Summer, and we’ve been exclusive for a few months now (had the whole “what are we doing” talk and everything). For the most part things have been really great, and I sometimes can’t believe how lucky I am to be in a serious relationship with someone so amazing. I won’t bother going into specifics as I don’t think they’re relevant, but long story short I am happier than I’ve ever been with anyone else. That being said, something happened over the weekend that has me concerned… I stayed over at his place on Friday night, and in the morning he was on his phone when I noticed that he had Tinder installed. I was obviously taken aback by it and asked why he still had Tinder on his phone (I knew he had it when we first started dating but assumed he would have deleted it by now)… I could tell he was nervous and didn’t immediately know how to respond. He then tells me that he isn’t using it to meet anyone, he just likes to see who he gets matched with as it helps him feel more confident about himself. He opens it up and shows me his message history—sure enough he hasn’t said a word to any of his matches, although some of them have tried starting a conversation with him. He promises that he has no interest in pursuing anyone else, and that it just makes him feel good to know that these girls are attracted to him. tl;dr: Boyfriend claims he is using Tinder just to help with his confidence." So he might just have had really messed up self confidence, OP! And uses it as unhealthy way to get validation. Cuz that's so much better! Thanks for that. But me and the guy I dated never had the talk, he told me he has commitment issues. So seeing him on tinder and him changing his tinder pic just makes me feel worse. He can't even commit to me and he's still swiping. :/ 1
Miss Spider Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 You 100% made the right decision to kick him to the curb 1
Author shahjskalio Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 You 100% made the right decision to kick him to the curb Thanks so much!!❤❤❤ I feel better now:)
ExpatInItaly Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Thanks for that. But me and the guy I dated never had the talk, he told me he has commitment issues. So seeing him on tinder and him changing his tinder pic just makes me feel worse. He can't even commit to me and he's still swiping. :/ You did the right thing ending it. He was looking for other options. That wasn't going to end well for you. 2
goldway90 Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Well he was already commitment-phobic and you knew from the start so what did you expect? This is exactly what happens when you ignore the red flags. OP seek therapy, the fact that you stayed 5 months with someone with commitment issues is a problem itself. 2
Sweetfish Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 Dated a guy for 5 months and he was still swiping on tinder. Is it wrong that I was mad at him? And all he said was it's a game to him and he just swipes when he's bored at work. Isn't this not right?? Am I right for getting really upset?? If a person from day one tells you "I have commitment issues"... do not continue to date them. You should be upset with your self for trying to change him. 1
GemmaUK Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 At the point he said he had commitment issues is when you should have broken things off. Either he really does had commitment issues or it's a gentle way to say 'I'm not that into you and plan to keep looking'. 2
Author shahjskalio Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 Thank you so much for all your advice guys! I love you all!! One weird thing is that he hasn't viewed my snap story since I told him we should stop seeing eachother. I guess he's mad. 1
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