darkmoon Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 All I do is think when I get a compliment as an opener is - why are you trying to know me? what do you want? I know compliments are considered to be sweet ice-breakers, but, I am a cynic. And you?
ZayKayWill Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 Really? Some people just like to be nice and meet new people/make new friends. C'mon now. I love randomly being nice to random people. It makes me feel good about myself. 3
basil67 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 All I do is think when I get a compliment as an opener is - why are you trying to know me? what do you want? I know compliments are considered to be sweet ice-breakers, but, I am a cynic. And you? It must be really depressing looking at the world with a cynic's eyes. I compliment people if there's something about them which really stands out to me. Mostly I notice what they are wearing and particularly so if it's more unusual. And it's not intended to be a sweet ice-breaker - it's just nice feedback intended to make them feel nice as they continue on their day. 2
todreaminblue Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 i give compliments all the time......i love giving compliments finding something beautiful about a person and letting them know...i always wonder if people know i actually do mean them.....it actually takes a fair amount of courage to give a compliment.....in a world where nothing is for nothing....and people dont believe what you say....most of the time a sincere compliment is taken as rubbish or must have an ulterior motive or is insincere ro benefits the person giving it....or even worse is considered creepy ...pretty sad huh...so i keep giving them ....and sometimes i might be able to cheer up someone who needs a bit of tlc...someone to notice them and say hey...i think you are special.....this is why...... i look for the beautiful in others and if i find it i say it.....and one day someone might see the beautiful in me and say it......and they have...and it is special to me...i collect them(compliments).and i gve them out........and I keep some for a cloudy day..when i feel overlooked or worthless....or non existent......i remember them... and im not so bad as i sometimes feel..............deb 1
d0nnivain Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 I give random compliments & upon receiving one I take it at face value -- the other person genuinely liked whatever it is. Yes it may be a conversation starter but I don't automatically ascribe nefarious motives to the speaker . Multiple, excessive compliments do make me skeptical. Then I wonder why the person is trying to butter me up & I doubt the sincerity of the statements. For example one of my EXs used to always say I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. The superlative nature of that usually caused me to encourage him to widen his circle of friends. I mean I don't need a bad over my head or anything but the most beautiful. . . . too much of an exaggeration especially since one of his sisters was a paid performer who is gorgeous & he was an actor. 2
S_A Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 (edited) All I do is think when I get a compliment as an opener is - why are you trying to know me? what do you want? I know compliments are considered to be sweet ice-breakers, but, I am a cynic. And you? There is an art to complimenting people in a way where the person receiving the compliment won't EVER think you have ulterior motives. I'm actually quite good at this I never use my ability to exploit though, and generally just use it when I want someone to feel really good about themself. If I were single though, I'd use it on girls I wanted to date. Edited March 15, 2017 by S_A
RecentChange Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 why are you trying to know me? I figure everyone should want to get to know me because I am freaking awesome kinda joking, kinda not. Why do you think people who would want to get to know you have some sort of sinister motive? I am trying to get better about giving compliments. I am decent about giving them to my spouse or friends, but I want to get more comfortable with it, especially with strangers. All the time I think "I should tell her how amazing I think her hair is" "I should tell him I was impressed by that". But instead I clam up, which is weird, because I usually do not have any problems striking up conversations with strangers. If someone compliments me on my clothes, or my intelligence, or my humor, I believe them at face value. If they compliment my looks, I have a harder time not being skeptical. Not because I am wary of their motives, but because I have never put myself in the "pretty" catagory - so in my head I think "they are just being nice". But I realize that is *MY* issue, not caused by the person giving the compliment. I remember an old boyfriend telling me with sincerity "you're beautiful" - I said "I am really terrible about accepting compliments" he said just say thank you. And honestly that little intimate moment helped. I try to remember it when someone compliments me on something that makes me feel uncomfortable. I say thank you and try not to read into it too much. (Now D bags at a bar with pick up lines or the ability to blow a ton of smoke up my a** are a different story. I feel I can differentiate between sincere and motivated compliments) 1
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