greenpen Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 I was recently with someone for fourth months. This sadly was the longest I have been with anyone in a long time. I have been too busy working on my career and personal aspirations to have a boyfriend. But now, I am settled in my career and I am ready for this kind of commitment. I broke up with my boyfriend on my own accord, but later found out that he is this huge pathological liar and was with at least 5-6 women while we were together. He never told me the truth, which was hard because when there is no cofirmation and only lies to hold on to you start to lose sight of what this person really did to you. Regardless, I have been trying to work through my emotions about the way he betrayed me. I am no longer with him, obviously, and have been trying to date and distract myself by finding new, better men to date. anyways, I have started dating this 24 yr old. I am 29. He actually sort of knws my ex, so it started out as a retaliation, but then I surprisingly had a lot of fun. We've been on like 5-6 dates now, but I have kept things pretty PG. Last night we went out and it was sort of stiff and awkward. I hate that shift that happens with someone, like it is great and then it starts to get 'realish' and it suddenly becomes flat. whatever, he's 24 and we've been on like 5 or 6 "dates" now so I am sure it is starting to freak him out that it is a quasi-relationship. I plan on going out with some other guys to distract away from focusing on one guy too much and it becoming too heavy, but I inevitably start liking someone and then it is this game of feeling distant and wanting to be closer. guys don't struggle with it as much, I guess I am looking for some advice on how to just roll with the punches more and not get attached.
clynn Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 geeezeee. I don't know. I have felt that myself before. Yuck. Recently with a guy I am dating. I'm hoping its just an awkard state that will pass. Maybe it is part of the whole deal. I mean I sometimes have that sort of thing happen even with new friends, who I am not dating, someone I meet of the same sex who is just going to be my friend. One on one can sometimes just be uncomfortable, that's all there is to it. I can think of a newish friend in particular who the first times we went out were kind of awkward, yet we had much in common, and enjoyed each other's company. We persisted and we've been able to figure each other out more. Because with any new relationships, its about setting boundaries and knowing what another person's expectations are, etc. Maybe it can be the same way with a new boyfriend? ? ? I mean, as long as their is a mutual willingness to wade through that stuff.... .....maybe give it a few days or even weeks and then when you hook up again it'll be fun next time! Try a different activity!
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