Mackem23 Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 Am hurting so bad and all my own fault. I was not the best bf to my ex. I have a 5 and half month old with her we would always break up and get back together then I ended things and never answered any of her texts to get back together her saying she loves me etc. Then two weeks ago we got back together then had huge fight and I broke up again then she stopped texting and said then heard she was seeing someone else so I confronted her and she admitted it and said she's more happy with new man cause he shows her more attention then I ever did and has left my 5 and half month baby with me for full week with out seeing her am so hurt and confused only 2 weeks ago she said she loves me and always will now I get hate off her so I have not contacted her in two days now sorry for long post am just hurting and would never admit that if a could not write it down
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2017 Posted March 4, 2017 A relationship that is so on-and-off is a relationship that doesn't work and shouldn't continue. It breeds resentment and weakens the bond between two people. That type of volatility also is an indication that you two just aren't compatible together. So while she may be rebounding, she likely also hasn't felt deeply emotionally connected to you for some time. I know she told you she loves you, but her actions are demonstrating that her love doesn't touch a deep enough level anymore to try to remain together. I would instead focus on establishing a way to co-parent so that your baby grows up in a stable environment. You don't want a child being witness to Mom and Dad endlessly cycling through reconciliations and break-ups, so I would say it's best you two stay apart and try to come to an agreement (with legal counsel) as to the roles you will play in your child's life and how to navigate custody. 1
Author Mackem23 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 She contacted me tonight out the blue just after I posted that saying all kinds of things that she tried to move on to forgot about me and still loves me etc etc etc but now I know she had sex with this dude I feel like a don't want her anymore but at same time I want to be there for my kid she's only 5 month so thinking of going back and tbf I've slept with people when been broken up in past am confused what to do
Author Mackem23 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 Was doing good then got a text off ex last night saying she stills loves me and stuff spilled our hearts out saying going to get back together and she's going to leave her new bf etc etc then she stopped texting later on and it's because she is sitting with her new bf any help at all thanks
Author Mackem23 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 (edited) I sent him all the screen shots of him saying his going to leave him etx Edited March 5, 2017 by Mackem23
Author Mackem23 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 (edited) Why would my ex text last night when she's not with new bf and tell me she loves me and wants to give me a other chance then tonight no replies and she's with her new bf probley sleeping with each other a just need answers so please someone help me out with this Edited March 5, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator threads merged ~6
KBob Posted March 5, 2017 Posted March 5, 2017 Why would my ex text last night when she's not with new bf and tell me she loves me and wants to give me a other chance then tonight no replies and she's with her new bf probley sleeping with each other a just need answers so please someone help me out with this Dude, hard truth here; you're both being ridiculous and immature. I've read through your previous posts about this girl. Constantly off and on and hurting each other. Moreso she's hurting you by cheating previously and throwing her new relationship in your face. She's not a healthy person to be involved with, and you have a child.in the mix. What do you two think all of will do to her? Break off contact with her other that what needs to be discussed about your child and move on with your life so you can be in a healthy emotional state to raise your child. I'm you've gone through this but change starts with you and continually making the same mistakes and complaining about the results will not change anything for you.
Author Mackem23 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Posted March 5, 2017 (edited) I've sent her last text il ever send her that's me done am not such a weakling that am being kept on sidelines haha no way thank you for reply mate ✌ Edited March 5, 2017 by Mackem23 1
Author Mackem23 Posted March 8, 2017 Author Posted March 8, 2017 (edited) So ex got with someone new, so I went no contact then she started messaging Saturday telling me how much she misses me etc etc then on Sunday was with her new bf got no messages stressed then texted on Monday saying she's breaking up with him and misses me so like a fool I went down and slept with her and saying we going to work things out for our baby and her child who is like mine, then today she text saying she needs time by her sell and wants to be single for while but loves me and always will etc I just blocked her and I know real reason is she's with that new bloke again am going full no contact she was never like this before am back to square one and just wondering why she would do this Edited March 8, 2017 by Mackem23
Author Mackem23 Posted March 15, 2017 Author Posted March 15, 2017 I was doing no contact and feeling good going to gym letting her move on with her new bf when suddenly she text telling me to stop telling people her new bf has broke up our family we have two kids when I have done no such thing. And was starting to come to terms with it all and not bothering her any ideas why she would break it just to be nasty ?
Grathblagg Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 I was doing no contact and feeling good going to gym letting her move on with her new bf when suddenly she text telling me to stop telling people her new bf has broke up our family we have two kids when I have done no such thing. And was starting to come to terms with it all and not bothering her any ideas why she would break it just to be nasty ? Because she's nasty, that's why. Ignore her completely, unless it's a communication about your children or legal issues. Even then, look up the word "laconic" as to the style and tone of your responses. 1
mikeylo Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 She wants to keep control over you. Are you seeing someone? I would advise you to put a stop to this before she ruins your new relationship.Since you have kids together, just keep it to that level and ignore the rest.
d0nnivain Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 Ignore her as best you can. Don't respond. Be the bigger man for your kids. Hang in there. BTW, you can't go full NC if you have kids. You have to be able to communicate for the children's welfare.
montie1 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 Lol the false accusation trick. Clever. Shes just doing that to play with your mind man. Next couple of days you'll get some stupid nonsense again. Ignore her completely. Do your own thing. Give her 0 attention and energy. 1
HumanMachine Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 See my thread about playing into their games.. don't do it man
Author Mackem23 Posted March 15, 2017 Author Posted March 15, 2017 Her new bf has left her he was on a rebound he made his excuses and he's left her now am getting all the hate saying I can't have my baby as much as I used to and trying to send me kisses and stuff and I went full no contact because me Mam contacts her for me
Marc878 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 I was doing no contact and feeling good going to gym letting her move on with her new bf when suddenly she text telling me to stop telling people her new bf has broke up our family we have two kids when I have done no such thing. And was starting to come to terms with it all and not bothering her any ideas why she would break it just to be nasty ? It doesn't matter what she does. No response from you.
Sweetfish Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 This scenario is highly common and is a ploy to keep you within her orbit. The ploy is to get your attention and at the same time push you away. This will resolve her guilt and create tension within you to cause you to react. Thus helping her prove her reasons for her actions. This is a relationship self defense mechanism that helps cope with breakups. The more happy you are... the more the kids are happy to see you... the more it will destory her inside... The best way to resolve this..is do not engage in this... indifference is a powerful tool and the more you go N.C. the more you will see these negative "breadcrumbs" 1
Bromeo Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 This scenario is highly common and is a ploy to keep you within her orbit. The ploy is to get your attention and at the same time push you away. This will resolve her guilt and create tension within you to cause you to react. Thus helping her prove her reasons for her actions. This is a relationship self defense mechanism that helps cope with breakups. The more happy you are... the more the kids are happy to see you... the more it will destory her inside... The best way to resolve this..is do not engage in this... indifference is a powerful tool and the more you go N.C. the more you will see these negative "breadcrumbs" I got caught up in this right here. And sweet is absolutely correct, they try and pull you in to push you away. I had never seen anything like it. After a month of NC (5 months post BU), I got two emails. No real content, just bs. This led to a week of bs texts, and ended with me delineating the awful way I was treated post breakup in a voicemail, which led to a much longer period of NC. Which, to sweets point, just validated for her why she dumped me of course. Not the laundry list of bs that occurred. Moral is, go NC right away, don't respond to worthless breadcrumbs, and focus on yourself. They are exs for a reason.
d0nnivain Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 I went full no contact because me Mam contacts her for me This isn't healthy either. Your mother can't run interference for you with an EX who is the mother of your children. No I don't think you should respond to her latest rant but I do think you need to find a way to communicate for your kids' sake. What example in problem solving are you setting for them if you can't find a way to fight your own battles? 1
marky00 Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 in a year or so your thread will read: "My Ex just broke NC after 8 months, why?"
Author Mackem23 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Posted March 16, 2017 Has anyone hurt you that much in past that when they finally move on and leave you alone that you feel relieved and happy strange feeling missing someone but at same time you no longer have to put up with them
Nogan Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 I was in a brief toxic relationship with an alcoholic. I liked her and missed her when I ended it, but I definitely felt relieved.
mightycpa Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 There's nothing new under the sun. Of course that's happened. Just not to me. I either wanted them back 100% or not at all. You sound like the right advice to you would be COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS.
todreaminblue Posted March 16, 2017 Posted March 16, 2017 i havent felt relief.....i put distance between myself and the person who has hurt me.....and then begin the torture....of letting go....its not relief for me its self analysis...and part of me is in self analysis is always brutal...... what i did wrong why i am not good for them would never be good for them..i cut contact.....so i can process and deal with the emotions that i feel from what they have done to hurt me ...what was said or physically done.....i am ocd.....so everything i go through when i cut contact is pretty exhausting......drains me emotionally spiritually physically.....when i cut contact with someone i care about i normally get sick...... but if i can get emotional distance and physical distance .....i can be there for them again.....eventually.....makes me feel like a failure to say goodbye...i dont like the word.....so i never say it...i just disappear...theres only so much hurt i can take before disappearing needs to happen.but my grandpas voice always echos when i exile myself from soemone.....and that is never leave a fallen man......and if they really needed me hurt or not ...distance or not.....ill come back.....i dont give up on anyone..i just retreat.......self exile...probably hurts me more than ever hurts them.....deb 2
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