Beginning of the end ?

March 15, 2017

Hello,

I wasnt sure if this was the right category to put this cause so many of them looked like a good fit but I chose this one. This will be quite long but if anyone decides to read please try to read everything I never did something like this over internet so its really hard for me, My english is not perfect but I think its good enough to express my feelings and describe situation.

So theres me and a woman, I met her at her work, since I was there often we talked quite a lot every time I was there. After few months I said maybe we could go drink something after her work, not a long meeting, but very nice and after that we started to text messages. For some time it was casual but we did it more and more often.

After few weeks she called and said maybe we could go somewhere together with another pair of friends. It was a nice evening and when friends left we were sitting and talking for few more hours after that I kissed her on the cheek for goodbye. Since then everything escalated, we wrote to each other a lot during the day but after few days I visited her at work and after I was leaving and tried to kissed her on the cheek she didnt want to, when I got home I got messages from her that she really really likes me but doesnt want a relationship now(last breakup wasnt not long ago) I said ok and that I love spending time with her and wont push for it hard and lets just BE.

Nothing changed, we wrote to each other even more, contact all the time, we started going out together a lot more and since I didnt want to push I didnt try to kiss her at all but after one of our nights out she kissed me on the cheek when she was getting out of the car. It seemed to go this way all by it self, meaning I could hug her, touch her, and somehow we started to kiss on the lips at beginning just to say hello or goodbye and after that we sometimes just kissed like normal couple(initiated mostly by me but she didnt back off). Our whole relationship started to look more like couple she said things like "I want to know you every day, what makes you sad, what makes you happy, I dont know where this will lead to" etc. But after some time she said again that what we have is starting to look like couple and she really isnt ready for any kind of relationship right now and doesnt want to ruin what we have and knows she gave me many signals it is different than that, I only said that I understand and that I wont push like that but I asked her not to back off totally.

That was the end of this discussion but our relationship didnt change that much, we still talked all the time go out together, kisses on the lips but pretty much only for hello and goodbye. What changed in probably wrong direction is that I met her family, started to visit them with her and her mother, spend there xmass cause she invited me there. They all really liked me especially her little nephew that she loves very much.

But after that things started to change somehow, we didnt go out together just two of us as much as before, we texted less but somehow started to talk on the phone a lot more. I still spent time with her family, and we did usual things together like shopping, driving her to work etc. but she started to call me a friend more and more and kissing almost stopped.

I knew its not a good sign, but I tried to stay positive, hoping that we could reconnect and develop somehow(probably foolish thinking). She has changed her work like 2 months before this time and I started to see her less.

And now there is the toughest part, at her work there is a guy that she know bofore but just casually, he had some kind of emotional troubles, breaking off with his wife, talking about suicide and stuff like that and she said she is helping him, visiting psychologist etc. nothing seemed to look like a direction where this would be anything except her helping someone that she knows, she always called him a "colleague" and said she is safe cause he is not trying anything(which in bull**** in my opinion and it turned out also others, like her family members). But after a while I started to didnt like it somehow, she went out to parties with people from work etc. she didnt respond to texts she would normally would and sometimes wouldnt tell me what she was doing which was never a problem. One line I remembered she said something like youre a friend, heart cannot be compelled, I dont know what will happen(doesnt sound right in english but in my language it sounded like a glimpse of not everything being decided yet, friends I told that line were understanding it like that also.

I became suspicious but didnt tell anything up front, I knew something wrong was going on between us or with her but didnt push for answers, worst sign was a moment where she didnt reply to any of my contact one evening and next day she said she went to a party to that guys house and stayed there for the night, came back next evening, it looked very strange but I wasnt sure how many people stayed there for the night and it looked like it wasnt just her, after that weekend she said she needs to talk to me and it stresses her but somehow this talk didnt happen for like two weeks. Last week she called me, she was drunk and told me that, she needs to tell me something, she said that at first I will be sad then happy, I didnt want to do this talk on the phone but during our talk she said she cant take it anymore and said she was "seeing" this guy from work she was helping for past month and she had to tell me, she also said he made her choose, me or him and she chose me, chose friendship(her words). She also said things like she doesnt want to live anymore, she needs to change her job and doesnt want to go there etc. My reply to that guy was that honestly I think he is dirt and he used his fake emotional breakdown to get what he wanted and I despise him and more than anything would like to beat the crap out of him, she replied with "thank you for saying that" and "thank you simply for being".

I was quite devastated... but the fact that she chose me made me feel better a little bit. I decided I need to be friend she needs right now and after she gets better I will try to talk about some kind of pissibility of us maybe in the future but right now I just wanted to support her in this time. So she went to work anyway, we talked after, it looked like its going more or less ok at work, didnt ask about how things with that guy are going there but it looked to go more or less without them talking, she said "she is simply doing her job". Yestarday she asked me to help her with something I usually help her with so I drove to get her and after we started driving she told me she had a hard meeting and that this guy wants to talk to me. I was shocked and told her I dont have anything to say to him, not now not never. This was hardest conversation of my life, many moments of it was just pure silence where we simply sit and looked each other in the eyes, I saw suffering in there. She said he was jelous and she talked to him and said I am just a friend(she always knew I had feelings). As I said everything during this talk feels like a dream to me right now. But what was said is that, she fell in love with that guy, she sees me as a friend and closest person in her life and it was always like that(I didnt mention in that moment all the other stuff that happened between us that gave me hopes). I said I have feelings for her, always had but didnt wanted to push, just hoped we wil develop something over time and said that honestly I dont believe there was never a spark of something more between us, she didnt reply with anything but "im sorry". I couldnt handle that situation, I told things like I dont see myself doing anything today, or tomorrow or next days, that I cant imagine my life without her in it, without her family I got so tied to, she just looked at me mostly with tears in her eyes. I told her I dont want to have anything to do with that guy and dont know how things can work like now, I told her that I have a feeling that I see her for the last time, when she heard that she seems a little panicked, shocked and said with louder voice "dont say things like that!".

She finally went home, we wrote a few texts after that but it was strange, she said she is sorry and it would be better if she just didnt exist, everything is strange now, she writes to me more than usual but I have a hard time figuring out what to reply to any of those texts especially if they are meant somehow to look like normal texts but I just cant... I cant let her go but I dont see how I can let her stay either. We both agreed yestarday its the worst day of our lives.

Its a story like probably milions had, but situation like this happened to me for the first time in my life. I talk with my friends but somehow I feel like I needed to put it somewhere else also. This community looked to me like a very good helpful place, where one can get help, good words and advices.

March 15, 2017

I got home I got messages from her that she really really likes me but doesnt want a relationship now(last breakup wasnt not long ago)

You should've stopped right here and saved yourself a lot of pain.

This girl wasn't your girlfriend, seems like you got attached too fast to her when in fact she wasn't that interested in you.

This is probably not the thing you want to hear but you need to let her go and move on, too much drama. You sound like a nice guy but keeping in touch with her will only bring you pain .

March 15, 2017

When a girl tells you she's not ready for a relationship....she really means she doesn't want a relationship with YOU, not "there is potential maybe later". You were totally friend zoned.

March 15, 2017

Honestly I understand your words about friendzone and walking away. About friendzone I have only one thing to somehow justify it and itp the fact that I had experience of frirndship turning info relationship, it didnt last but it happened.

Walking away... During the day she texted me few times, rather normal stuff I didnt really felt like replying but she kind of kept pushing so I did once or twice but kept it short.

And now the part I really dont understand. She called me twice, one short 15 mins talk and second almost two damn hours. She behaved like yestarday didnt happen, being normal, funny and I didnt know wtf is going and was confused so much that I let her talk and responding mostly with "ok, yeah, mhm" sometimes asking short question. Only once she asked how am I feeling and I pretty much didnt respond anything but i am not even sure that question was about yestarday. I dont get this, how do you go from yestarday "its the worst day of my life" to this **** today? Didnt she hear that I have feelings for her and dont see how we can do this?

March 16, 2017

She is that stupid. She is emotionally using you....and it's sucking the ever lasting life out of you. She's an emotional vampire. Remember she's not the one that has the feelings here....that's why she can easily dismiss it. Get you head out of yer butt, and stay away from her. It's for your own good. And then, if she did have any interest in you, she will know where to find you. When a girl is into you she will not let anything get in her way, not even time that has passed.

March 16, 2017

This can only get worst for you man. I don't see the point in continuing to see this woman after all of that. Doesn't seem worth it. She's messing around with your life and that's not what you need.

I'm sure you can do better. Just end things with her before she continues to use and hurt you. This relationship saga will continue to suck every last drop of your life and you need to detach. Save yourself . a lot of women our there that's worth it. This one isn't.

March 16, 2017

Wow. Sorry to hear your story, OP. And I'm sorry you're going through this pain of unrequited love. Most of us here have been there in some capacity.

Anyway, I have to echo the advice you've already been given here. Walk away from this woman. You are not getting anything out of this "friendship" other than false hope and seemingly being called on whenever she needs a favor. The hardest part is that I'm willing to bet that when she called you and told you that she had chosen you over this other guy that it wasn't the truth. Especially since he was back in the picture so shortly after that. Also, didn't you say this guy was married?

It also sounds like based on your last interaction with her that she's now using you just to call and talk to you about whatever SHE wants to talk about. It won't be long until she's telling you all the lurid details of her relationship with this guy. And I know that you don't want to hear that. I'd pick up the pieces of your dignity that you still have and tell her firmly that you can't be friends with her because you want to be with her and then go completely dark on her with no contact. Then focus on finding a woman who isn't confused about whether or not she wants to be with you.

March 16, 2017

Thanks for all the help. I know its going that way but she is not making this easier..

Today was another wtf day. Called me twice, from the first call I knew something is wrong and second call only confirmed it, I dont know what is really going on between her and that guy but it doesnt look good, crying and stuff like that, anyway I didnt even want to ask and pretty much shrug off that topic as much as I could but she seems to have troubles with getting my hints I dont give a **** about that idiot(ps. not married, divorced or something like that). I still have feelings for her that is for sure that is why I am still enduring this... dont know how to call it even but with each day im getting more mad inside and rather sooner than later I will explode saying that she choose some crazy looser instead of me so I am sorry but I cant be part of that if she really doesnt want me.

Also I think she is pretty sure I dont want to hear any lurid details and if I would hear something like that today or tomorrow it would be game over so maybe it would be best if I heard something like that

Edited March 16, 2017 by confusedhead

March 16, 2017

if she truly cared she wouldn't expect you to stay knowing you have serious romantic feelings for her....the guy she is with was right to make her choose.....let her go.....she needs to let you go......i wish you well...deb

March 16, 2017

Hello,

I wasnt sure if this was the right category to put this cause so many of them looked like a good fit but I chose this one. This will be quite long but if anyone decides to read please try to read everything I never did something like this over internet so its really hard for me, My english is not perfect but I think its good enough to express my feelings and describe situation.

So theres me and a woman, I met her at her work, since I was there often we talked quite a lot every time I was there. After few months I said maybe we could go drink something after her work, not a long meeting, but very nice and after that we started to text messages. For some time it was casual but we did it more and more often.

After few weeks she called and said maybe we could go somewhere together with another pair of friends. It was a nice evening and when friends left we were sitting and talking for few more hours after that I kissed her on the cheek for goodbye. Since then everything escalated, we wrote to each other a lot during the day but after few days I visited her at work and after I was leaving and tried to kissed her on the cheek she didnt want to, when I got home I got messages from her that she really really likes me but doesnt want a relationship now(last breakup wasnt not long ago) I said ok and that I love spending time with her and wont push for it hard and lets just BE.

Nothing changed, we wrote to each other even more, contact all the time, we started going out together a lot more and since I didnt want to push I didnt try to kiss her at all but after one of our nights out she kissed me on the cheek when she was getting out of the car. It seemed to go this way all by it self, meaning I could hug her, touch her, and somehow we started to kiss on the lips at beginning just to say hello or goodbye and after that we sometimes just kissed like normal couple(initiated mostly by me but she didnt back off). Our whole relationship started to look more like couple she said things like "I want to know you every day, what makes you sad, what makes you happy, I dont know where this will lead to" etc. But after some time she said again that what we have is starting to look like couple and she really isnt ready for any kind of relationship right now and doesnt want to ruin what we have and knows she gave me many signals it is different than that, I only said that I understand and that I wont push like that but I asked her not to back off totally.

That was the end of this discussion but our relationship didnt change that much, we still talked all the time go out together, kisses on the lips but pretty much only for hello and goodbye. What changed in probably wrong direction is that I met her family, started to visit them with her and her mother, spend there xmass cause she invited me there. They all really liked me especially her little nephew that she loves very much.

But after that things started to change somehow, we didnt go out together just two of us as much as before, we texted less but somehow started to talk on the phone a lot more. I still spent time with her family, and we did usual things together like shopping, driving her to work etc. but she started to call me a friend more and more and kissing almost stopped.

I knew its not a good sign, but I tried to stay positive, hoping that we could reconnect and develop somehow(probably foolish thinking). She has changed her work like 2 months before this time and I started to see her less.

And now there is the toughest part, at her work there is a guy that she know bofore but just casually, he had some kind of emotional troubles, breaking off with his wife, talking about suicide and stuff like that and she said she is helping him, visiting psychologist etc. nothing seemed to look like a direction where this would be anything except her helping someone that she knows, she always called him a "colleague" and said she is safe cause he is not trying anything(which in bull**** in my opinion and it turned out also others, like her family members). But after a while I started to didnt like it somehow, she went out to parties with people from work etc. she didnt respond to texts she would normally would and sometimes wouldnt tell me what she was doing which was never a problem. One line I remembered she said something like youre a friend, heart cannot be compelled, I dont know what will happen(doesnt sound right in english but in my language it sounded like a glimpse of not everything being decided yet, friends I told that line were understanding it like that also.

I became suspicious but didnt tell anything up front, I knew something wrong was going on between us or with her but didnt push for answers, worst sign was a moment where she didnt reply to any of my contact one evening and next day she said she went to a party to that guys house and stayed there for the night, came back next evening, it looked very strange but I wasnt sure how many people stayed there for the night and it looked like it wasnt just her, after that weekend she said she needs to talk to me and it stresses her but somehow this talk didnt happen for like two weeks. Last week she called me, she was drunk and told me that, she needs to tell me something, she said that at first I will be sad then happy, I didnt want to do this talk on the phone but during our talk she said she cant take it anymore and said she was "seeing" this guy from work she was helping for past month and she had to tell me, she also said he made her choose, me or him and she chose me, chose friendship(her words). She also said things like she doesnt want to live anymore, she needs to change her job and doesnt want to go there etc. My reply to that guy was that honestly I think he is dirt and he used his fake emotional breakdown to get what he wanted and I despise him and more than anything would like to beat the crap out of him, she replied with "thank you for saying that" and "thank you simply for being".

I was quite devastated... but the fact that she chose me made me feel better a little bit. I decided I need to be friend she needs right now and after she gets better I will try to talk about some kind of pissibility of us maybe in the future but right now I just wanted to support her in this time. So she went to work anyway, we talked after, it looked like its going more or less ok at work, didnt ask about how things with that guy are going there but it looked to go more or less without them talking, she said "she is simply doing her job". Yestarday she asked me to help her with something I usually help her with so I drove to get her and after we started driving she told me she had a hard meeting and that this guy wants to talk to me. I was shocked and told her I dont have anything to say to him, not now not never. This was hardest conversation of my life, many moments of it was just pure silence where we simply sit and looked each other in the eyes, I saw suffering in there. She said he was jelous and she talked to him and said I am just a friend(she always knew I had feelings). As I said everything during this talk feels like a dream to me right now. But what was said is that, she fell in love with that guy, she sees me as a friend and closest person in her life and it was always like that(I didnt mention in that moment all the other stuff that happened between us that gave me hopes). I said I have feelings for her, always had but didnt wanted to push, just hoped we wil develop something over time and said that honestly I dont believe there was never a spark of something more between us, she didnt reply with anything but "im sorry". I couldnt handle that situation, I told things like I dont see myself doing anything today, or tomorrow or next days, that I cant imagine my life without her in it, without her family I got so tied to, she just looked at me mostly with tears in her eyes. I told her I dont want to have anything to do with that guy and dont know how things can work like now, I told her that I have a feeling that I see her for the last time, when she heard that she seems a little panicked, shocked and said with louder voice "dont say things like that!".

She finally went home, we wrote a few texts after that but it was strange, she said she is sorry and it would be better if she just didnt exist, everything is strange now, she writes to me more than usual but I have a hard time figuring out what to reply to any of those texts especially if they are meant somehow to look like normal texts but I just cant... I cant let her go but I dont see how I can let her stay either. We both agreed yestarday its the worst day of our lives.

Its a story like probably milions had, but situation like this happened to me for the first time in my life. I talk with my friends but somehow I feel like I needed to put it somewhere else also. This community looked to me like a very good helpful place, where one can get help, good words and advices.

Dude, you got played and your nice guy syndrome got you friend zoned without you even knowing it.

She used you as an emotional crutch for herself, and then she liked the physicality with this guy. That's why she spent the night at his house.

She liked your adoring her but didn't want anything physical with you because it came across as sappy and Beta. She wanted physical with the other guy but did not want the emotion that comes with that. That old "Helping a friend with their problems" line is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

She wasn't overnight at the guy's place on a "Listening Tour".

Then she played the "non commitment card" with the other guy after they had been physical and used you as an out. That is why the guy wanted to talk to you. She is trying her best to prevent that so you two don't compare notes and figure out you have both been getting played. Because if you two do talk, this will have all blown up in her face

He had been banging her and he wanted exclusivity but she wanted to play both ends against the middle. Guy's don;t give "Him or me" ultimatums unless they have tapped the coochie and they liked it. We guys are more prone to hit what we can when we can. She rocked his socked off and he wanted a relationship. He called her bluff.

This isn't some after School Special on ABC. She got what she wanted but the other guy pressed the issue and she wants your adoration as a fallback plan.

Your best course action is as follows. It may seem extreme but buddy if you half ass this then she will stick to you like a bad meal at a Truck Stop diner and make you sick as well as drive you insane..

1. Go NO CONTACT at all. Zilch, nada, nothing. Go dark.

2. Delete this chick from your life. That means email addresses, social media, phone number, everything. Make her insignificant. The opposite of love, or whatever you felt is not hate, it is total indifference.

3. Google the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy pdf." Read it. Your Nice guy syndrome will cause this experience to repeat itself time and again f y don't make a serious change in yourself. Chicks can see doormat from a mile away, and this chick was doing a touchdown dance in the end zone all over you an spiking the football on your heart. Stop being a nice guy. The saying that nice guys finish last is true. Some may disagree with me but I submit to you no one has a torrid romance with a nice guy who stands in the central square in a rainstorm holding flowers for somebody that forgets to show up as the sad piano music plays in the background. That's the crap of Lifetime Movies, not reality.

4. Do not feel bad about it. It happens to the best of us. It happened to me when I was young. It has happened to a ton of people who post on Loveshack. Learn from it that you deserve to be treated better by someone other than this chick.

Good Luck.

Edited March 16, 2017 by Space Ritual

March 17, 2017

1. You made the mistake many of us have when we get tossed into the "friend zone". We turn into Ducky from "Pretty in Pink" and pray that they'll see the light or some crap like that. Unfortunately, she didn't make the situation any easier by drawing you in further. She knows you have feelings for her and she gave you just enough to keep you on a leash.

2. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to date the other guy while still getting the ego boost and emotional support from having you in her life. And, she is being manipulative in conversations to try and keep you around. She is dramatizing the situation in a last ditch effort to pull you back in.

3. It's time to cut the cord and move on, my friend. Make it a clean cut and get away from her. I imagine she will try to use the situation to draw you back in some manner but just stay away. Nothing good will come of this relationship.

March 17, 2017

change your phone number, block her and go NC.

She is using you.

She does not feel the way you do.

you will find someone else, but move on to other fish in the sea.

Stay away from the sharks. Sharks are not your friend.

March 17, 2017

Hard words in here but seem real unfortunately...

I have always knew about friendzone existing but somehow I always got away quite fast, either by myself or with big help of the other side, it just died out, ended, we stopped talking, talked a lot less, other side never dragged me more or developed it further. Never had situation like this one where I just kept going and even developing further with our relationship being "friendship" while many signs pointed in the other direction, I always interpret stuff by myself but in this case after some time I began to describe some situation to my friends, and I really tried to describe them without my feelings changing way of how it really looked but I think most of the time I did it quite precisely and in really overwhelming part they agreed there is something wrong in here and things very often looked like more than "friendship".

March 17, 2017

She's using you as an emotional punching bag, She leans on you when nobody else wants to listen to her whine about her personal life, CONTROL ALT DELETE!

March 17, 2017

Hello,

I wasnt sure if this was the right category to put this cause so many of them looked like a good fit but I chose this one. This will be quite long but if anyone decides to read please try to read everything I never did something like this over internet so its really hard for me, My english is not perfect but I think its good enough to express my feelings and describe situation.

So theres me and a woman, I met her at her work, since I was there often we talked quite a lot every time I was there. After few months I said maybe we could go drink something after her work, not a long meeting, but very nice and after that we started to text messages. For some time it was casual but we did it more and more often.

After few weeks she called and said maybe we could go somewhere together with another pair of friends. It was a nice evening and when friends left we were sitting and talking for few more hours after that I kissed her on the cheek for goodbye. Since then everything escalated, we wrote to each other a lot during the day but after few days I visited her at work and after I was leaving and tried to kissed her on the cheek she didnt want to, when I got home I got messages from her that she really really likes me but doesnt want a relationship now(last breakup wasnt not long ago) I said ok and that I love spending time with her and wont push for it hard and lets just BE.

Nothing changed, we wrote to each other even more, contact all the time, we started going out together a lot more and since I didnt want to push I didnt try to kiss her at all but after one of our nights out she kissed me on the cheek when she was getting out of the car. It seemed to go this way all by it self, meaning I could hug her, touch her, and somehow we started to kiss on the lips at beginning just to say hello or goodbye and after that we sometimes just kissed like normal couple(initiated mostly by me but she didnt back off). Our whole relationship started to look more like couple she said things like "I want to know you every day, what makes you sad, what makes you happy, I dont know where this will lead to" etc. But after some time she said again that what we have is starting to look like couple and she really isnt ready for any kind of relationship right now and doesnt want to ruin what we have and knows she gave me many signals it is different than that, I only said that I understand and that I wont push like that but I asked her not to back off totally.

That was the end of this discussion but our relationship didnt change that much, we still talked all the time go out together, kisses on the lips but pretty much only for hello and goodbye. What changed in probably wrong direction is that I met her family, started to visit them with her and her mother, spend there xmass cause she invited me there. They all really liked me especially her little nephew that she loves very much.

But after that things started to change somehow, we didnt go out together just two of us as much as before, we texted less but somehow started to talk on the phone a lot more. I still spent time with her family, and we did usual things together like shopping, driving her to work etc. but she started to call me a friend more and more and kissing almost stopped.

I knew its not a good sign, but I tried to stay positive, hoping that we could reconnect and develop somehow(probably foolish thinking). She has changed her work like 2 months before this time and I started to see her less.

And now there is the toughest part, at her work there is a guy that she know bofore but just casually, he had some kind of emotional troubles, breaking off with his wife, talking about suicide and stuff like that and she said she is helping him, visiting psychologist etc. nothing seemed to look like a direction where this would be anything except her helping someone that she knows, she always called him a "colleague" and said she is safe cause he is not trying anything(which in bull**** in my opinion and it turned out also others, like her family members). But after a while I started to didnt like it somehow, she went out to parties with people from work etc. she didnt respond to texts she would normally would and sometimes wouldnt tell me what she was doing which was never a problem. One line I remembered she said something like youre a friend, heart cannot be compelled, I dont know what will happen(doesnt sound right in english but in my language it sounded like a glimpse of not everything being decided yet, friends I told that line were understanding it like that also.

I became suspicious but didnt tell anything up front, I knew something wrong was going on between us or with her but didnt push for answers, worst sign was a moment where she didnt reply to any of my contact one evening and next day she said she went to a party to that guys house and stayed there for the night, came back next evening, it looked very strange but I wasnt sure how many people stayed there for the night and it looked like it wasnt just her, after that weekend she said she needs to talk to me and it stresses her but somehow this talk didnt happen for like two weeks. Last week she called me, she was drunk and told me that, she needs to tell me something, she said that at first I will be sad then happy, I didnt want to do this talk on the phone but during our talk she said she cant take it anymore and said she was "seeing" this guy from work she was helping for past month and she had to tell me, she also said he made her choose, me or him and she chose me, chose friendship(her words). She also said things like she doesnt want to live anymore, she needs to change her job and doesnt want to go there etc. My reply to that guy was that honestly I think he is dirt and he used his fake emotional breakdown to get what he wanted and I despise him and more than anything would like to beat the crap out of him, she replied with "thank you for saying that" and "thank you simply for being".

I was quite devastated... but the fact that she chose me made me feel better a little bit. I decided I need to be friend she needs right now and after she gets better I will try to talk about some kind of pissibility of us maybe in the future but right now I just wanted to support her in this time. So she went to work anyway, we talked after, it looked like its going more or less ok at work, didnt ask about how things with that guy are going there but it looked to go more or less without them talking, she said "she is simply doing her job". Yestarday she asked me to help her with something I usually help her with so I drove to get her and after we started driving she told me she had a hard meeting and that this guy wants to talk to me. I was shocked and told her I dont have anything to say to him, not now not never. This was hardest conversation of my life, many moments of it was just pure silence where we simply sit and looked each other in the eyes, I saw suffering in there. She said he was jelous and she talked to him and said I am just a friend(she always knew I had feelings). As I said everything during this talk feels like a dream to me right now. But what was said is that, she fell in love with that guy, she sees me as a friend and closest person in her life and it was always like that(I didnt mention in that moment all the other stuff that happened between us that gave me hopes). I said I have feelings for her, always had but didnt wanted to push, just hoped we wil develop something over time and said that honestly I dont believe there was never a spark of something more between us, she didnt reply with anything but "im sorry". I couldnt handle that situation, I told things like I dont see myself doing anything today, or tomorrow or next days, that I cant imagine my life without her in it, without her family I got so tied to, she just looked at me mostly with tears in her eyes. I told her I dont want to have anything to do with that guy and dont know how things can work like now, I told her that I have a feeling that I see her for the last time, when she heard that she seems a little panicked, shocked and said with louder voice "dont say things like that!".

She finally went home, we wrote a few texts after that but it was strange, she said she is sorry and it would be better if she just didnt exist, everything is strange now, she writes to me more than usual but I have a hard time figuring out what to reply to any of those texts especially if they are meant somehow to look like normal texts but I just cant... I cant let her go but I dont see how I can let her stay either. We both agreed yestarday its the worst day of our lives.

Its a story like probably milions had, but situation like this happened to me for the first time in my life. I talk with my friends but somehow I feel like I needed to put it somewhere else also. This community looked to me like a very good helpful place, where one can get help, good words and advices.

um no let her behind go. she playing you bro

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