Altair0770 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 You can read my story here - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/616420-different-story So, just curious what people think. Should we keep mutual friends on our social media after a breakup or na? There are no "mutual friends". Each person picks a side and that's that. But, sometimes we aren't really sure who is on whose side. Let's assume, since its the case in my situation, seeing mutual friends on Facebook doesn't bother me. My ex has me blocked (I told her to) and I have unfollowed the mutual friends so I don't see their crap. Do you think it's best to remove them. Say, "hey thanks for being a friend but I think it's best we don't be friends on FB" so you can go complete radio silence, or do you keep them on because you may see a friendship with them in the future once you're healed, or because you want to use that to your advantage because they may relay messages to your nosey ex. I've got a friend that is clearly on my ex's side. I don't really see a friendship. I made it so I can't see her crap and she can't see my posts. Haven't talked to this person in a month. If I remove them, it means my ex has no way of seeing if I'm alive or not (since I do not talk to these people and they cannot check my profile to see any updates). If I don't, I always have that opportunity to subtly relay messages to my ex. I'm pretty sure this person is spying, but not 100% sure. We don't have much in common but she says she's my ex's "best friend". I also have another friend that REALLY helped me during the initial breakup. Was there on my side the entire time. Really sweet woman that cared. Well, after being NC from my ex and seeing as she played the game with my ex, that person stopped contacting me and kind of switched to my ex's side. I'd feel guilty removing her from Facebook because she is someone that planned to meet me in real life, but I also know she can be a bit of a loud mouth. What would you guys do?
Fair Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 I have a big issue with social media. Cutting it off is the only sure fire way of avoiding the extra drama.
montie1 Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 I have a lot of mutual friends on fb with my ex. She blocked then unblocked me. Have no idea why. I don't visit her social media. I haven't done so since 2015 and I'm fine about it. Its based on your emotions. If you know you'll see something with her and feel hurt (as I did) stay off social media for sometime. Just to not expose yourself to any unwanted pain. In terms of mutual friends , just leave them. They are just people nothing else. I would leave them. If they ask you about your ex and all thay just say you both have moved on and what not leave it there. Social media just complicates everything. I know i just rambled alot of stuff. Personally i would leave them because they are just mutual friends, shouldn't be a problem.
lana-banana Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 So, just curious what people think. Should we keep mutual friends on our social media after a breakup or na? There are no "mutual friends". Each person picks a side and that's that. This is not how it works. If you have been dating long enough to enjoy the company of each other's friends and add them on social media, you may have forged a relationship that lasts beyond a breakup. My fiancé remained good friends with several of his ex-girlfriend's co-workers after they split; two years later, one of them is actually among my closest friends. Life happens. The issue of social media is mostly irrelevant, especially in an age when Facebook allows you to mute updates without defriending someone. Your ex has no right to get mad at you for "keeping" social media friends and vice-versa! The situation you describe sounds so absurdly melodramatic and exhausting. Who cares if someone is spying or telling or whatever? You broke up because you didn't want to be in the relationship any more, and garbage like this just keeps you attached in am even less healthy way. You are wasting valuable energy on this when you could be using it for, I dunno, the gym or school or work or learning a new language or upgrading your wardrobe or literally anything else. Don't automatically cut off anyone who has contact with her. Block or mute only the people you suspect might be looking for sensitive information and don't give it any further thought. You don't have time for this. 1
BikerAccnt Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 It depends on how "you" feel about it, and if these were real friends to you in the first place, or just people you happen to know because of your Ex. If they are real friends, people you truly care about, why would you cut them out of your life? Real friends don't take sides in a breakup, they commiserate with you both, sorry that it didn't work out. They don't say one was right, or one was wrong, they are sad for you both. My Ex is in my MC club (long story) , and the other club members love us both. She and I are friendly, but not friends. She has me blocked on social media, and that's her choice. But the people in my club are brothers and sisters, and I consider her as such too. I'm not going to remove people I truly consider friends, just because they happen to be friends with her too. That would be like doing like the old saying "cutting of your nose to spite your face". And, I happen to like my nose. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 If they were your friends 1st keep them. If they were her friends, delete them. No need to make an announcement. Just click the unfriend button & move on. I would block her though so her stuff doesn't pop up for you to see through somebody else.
Recommended Posts