queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Ok I have a question for everyone... Recently I changed my gym schedule to avoid my ex (we work together and there is a gym in our company) Anyways i am thinking of returning to my normal schedule today but just plan to wear my headphones and do my own thing.... Should I go at my normal time or continue to go at a later time to avoid him... Mind you I have been seeing him at the healthclub that we joined together after work anyways.... We used to workout together twice a day!!
Merin Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 I would recommend you keep with the new schedule you created for yourself. Right now you're still feeling hurt, and confused.. so yeah I think it's still better to avoid this Guy when you can, keep your distance.. IMO seeing him everyday wouldn't make you feel better.
Author queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 Merin do you think it bothers him that i switched my schedule? I do agree with you, that seeing him makes it hard for me....i just hate giving him the satisfaction that i changed my schedule. I have been seeing him at Ballys Total Fitness after work unfortunately but i just keep to myself, dont even say hi to him.
francis Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 queenie, if it bothers him, that really is his problem...the bottom line is this...you are not gonna get over him any quicker by seeing him regularly when you've found a way of minimising sights of him... stick to your revised schedule until the thought of him means nothing to you...otherwise, in my opinion, you are a glutton for punishment and will only make yourself feel worse... he's waved goodbye to a relationship with you and chosen the bachelor lifestyle over you...stuff what he thinks, its no longer important... constant contact with my ex via email has held me back SO much from getting over him...i finally emailed him today and said to him that i can no longer stay in contact with him until i am over him...basically for my own sanity because i couldnt pretend to be his friend any longer (when it was oh so easy for him)...i dont want to be in touch with him now, waiting with baited breath for his email replies...after three months, i cant live like that anymore... its been over two weeks for you without him initiating any contact...he wants you to move on, you have to take control and think about how you can stop thinking about him so much and start living your life for you...
Merin Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 Merin do you think it bothers him that i switched my schedule? I do agree with you, that seeing him makes it hard for me....i just hate giving him the satisfaction that i changed my schedule. I have been seeing him at Ballys Total Fitness after work unfortunately but i just keep to myself, dont even say hi to him. You know honestly Sweetie, I don't think it has upset him that you've changed your schedule, I think it makes him uncomfortable to be around you at this point. I also don't believe it gives him any satisfaction that you changed your schedule.. he knows what he did was sh*tty and he also knows he never gave you any real reason(s) why he did what he did.. if anything I think he feels relief that he won't be running into you at the gym so he doesn't feel boxed in, know what I'm saying? You're a great girl Queenie and eventually you're going to be fine and all okay again... right now isn't the time to start testing yourself around this knucklehead... keep your distance, protect your heart.
Author queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 Ok I will keep my new schedule. Just sucks because when i do run into him here at work at the elevators or whatever he asks if i still workout downstairs etc..so basically he has noticed i havent been there. I am going to stick to no contact and if he does try and email me i just wont respond or else i will just be short with him. I guess everyone is right, he could probabaly careless and i have to convince myself that he doesnt care about me or my feelings anymore...hes over me and moved on.
Author queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 Francis, did your ex respond? I dont understand why they cant just leave well enough alone. I feel like as soon as they know they are losing us they email us...go figure! Does anyone else experience that?
Merin Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 Ok I will keep my new schedule. Just sucks because when i do run into him here at work at the elevators or whatever he asks if i still workout downstairs etc..so basically he has noticed i havent been there. I am going to stick to no contact and if he does try and email me i just wont respond or else i will just be short with him. I guess everyone is right, he could probabaly careless and i have to convince myself that he doesnt care about me or my feelings anymore...hes over me and moved on. He knows where you work, He knows where you live, He knows your phone number, email address, Work place, Work phone number.. when or if he's ready to tell you he's sorry and wants another chance he will have a million ways to get in touch with you. Don't beat yourself up over this Girl, or give him more time or attention.. he doesn't deserve it, isn't worthy of it and isn't giving this as much in depth thought.
alphamale Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 We used to workout together twice a day!! spending too much time together for a couple is usually detrimental.
Author queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 You know all Merin...you say it like it is and its the truth!! He does know how to reach me if he has anything to say.. I think its so sad that he can see me at Ballys and not even come up and tap me on the shoulder and say hi. At this point tho I think he knows i want nothing to do with him...I didnt even wish him a happy bday on saturday.... He isnt worthy of my time or attention anymore, i have been pinning over him for about 3 months now...how sad! And he couldnt even give me a reason for ending it!
Author queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 yeah yeah i know....our working out 2 times a day together did a lot of damage to our relationship. But if thats all it took for him to throw the towel in then he wasnt really worth it anyways.... All he had to do was alter the schedule...would have been that simple!! Funny part is that both of us are still going 2 times aday but just alone instead of together
alphamale Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 yeah yeah i know....our working out 2 times a day together did a lot of damage to our relationship. so lets see QUEENIE01.....you worked together for same company AND you spent lunch/breaks working out together AND you spent time after work together AND the wknds together. Are you nuts??? He got totally sick of you probably. What about making yourself less available and hard to get and making him miss you??? How can a dude miss you if he spends 20 hrs per day with you??? another example of why people should never date co-workers...
Author queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 Ok well first of all we do work for the same company but we dont see each other at all, he is in another tower. Only time we saw each other was at the gym...yes we worked out at lunch together but we barely talked...and then in february was when we started to workout at nite togethe and that was his idea to join ballys in the first place, not mine. I do think thats what was an over kill. and for your information, he was the one who wanted to spend all that time together. We only spent wednesday nites together and he said he wished we could have spent more week nites together. He also wanted me to move in with him when he bought a townhouse which he isnt doing anymore anyways. HE is moving into an apt with 2 guys. If he got sick of me then so be it..but i would hardly think thats what it was...he was the one who text messaged me constantly and emailed me all the time etc... he was very needy, attentionwise. I guess he has all the time in the world to miss me now.
what456 Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Hey Guys (esp. Merin), I went to the wedding this weekend....and Merin you were right!! i completely blew him off and who went completely out of his way to talk to me...he did..my ex! according to my friends, he was staring at me the WHOLE night....watched me across the banquet hall, etc. it was so funny because not only does his family love me off..but so did two other guys at the wedding!!!! MERIN, i really want to thank-you for your support. i feel so empowered now. i have a feeling that he will call me..but if he doesn't oh well!! what do you think that i should do?
francis Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 its got to the point where i dont want to hear from him, and i dont even want him to respond to that... i hope i dont hear from him, i'm just exhausted by the whole thing... i should have written that email two and a half months ago but i just didnt have the courage...i just couldnt bear to let him go... but it hasnt helped receiving his 'kind' emails...just kept me in a really unhealthy place whereby i havent been able to move on...and i'm worn out... queenie, maybe your guy got suffocated...what will be will be...i was clinging on to the hope we could work something out but our LD situation is hopeless... its best to leave it in the situation it is, dont provoke it...i think you've been really strong not to bombard him with begging emails etc...i've been guilty of that lately...its sucks and gets you NO-WHERE!! its ridiculous! you obviously have a lot of unanswered questions but i think you've dealt with the whole thing really well...
Merin Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 Ok well first of all we do work for the same company but we dont see each other at all, he is in another tower. Only time we saw each other was at the gym...yes we worked out at lunch together but we barely talked...and then in february was when we started to workout at nite togethe and that was his idea to join ballys in the first place, not mine. I do think thats what was an over kill. and for your information, he was the one who wanted to spend all that time together. We only spent wednesday nites together and he said he wished we could have spent more week nites together. He also wanted me to move in with him when he bought a townhouse which he isnt doing anymore anyways. HE is moving into an apt with 2 guys. If he got sick of me then so be it..but i would hardly think thats what it was...he was the one who text messaged me constantly and emailed me all the time etc... he was very needy, attentionwise. I guess he has all the time in the world to miss me now. Don't stress over this.. whats done is done. IF this was to much for him he could've and should've said something.. he didn't have any problems being an assclown and hurting your feelings when he ended things, so yeah there is zero reason if he was unhappy with something that he couldn't have said something. Now you have all the time you need as well to find a Guy who can speak the hell up when it counts and matters and say whats okay for him and what isn't. Hang in there Originally posted by what456 Hey Guys (esp. Merin), I went to the wedding this weekend....and Merin you were right!! i completely blew him off and who went completely out of his way to talk to me...he did..my ex! according to my friends, he was staring at me the WHOLE night....watched me across the banquet hall, etc. it was so funny because not only does his family love me off..but so did two other guys at the wedding!!!! MERIN, i really want to thank-you for your support. i feel so empowered now. i have a feeling that he will call me..but if he doesn't oh well!! what do you think that i should do? You're Welcome, glad to hear that and to not hijack Miss Q's thread here, I PM'd you
Author queenie01 Posted July 26, 2005 Author Posted July 26, 2005 Yeah ive done all i can do, maybe he did get suffocated, maybe we did spend too much time together, maybe he got scared, who knows..i have no clue. All i know is i was completely happy and we had a lot of future plans and he seemed happy too. I just dont understand how guys work. He used to live with his roomate and then his roomates gf moved in with them, talk about spending a lot of time together, they slept in the same bed every nite. I dont think we did everything right but in my eyes it was nothing that communication couldnt have fixed. Has i known how he was feeling i would have changed things. He was very insecure and whenevr i went out with my friends he would be nervous and get mad that guys would buy me drinks etc...i was very understanding towards that so i made less plans with my friends to support him. I even changed my vacation plans to vegas because he was worried about me going there while he was on his fishing trip. if i am guilty of spending too much time with him then so be it...and if thats what caused him to leave me...god bless and good riddens. There is a guy out there who will appreciate his time with me and all that we had in common.
TUDOR Posted July 26, 2005 Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 There is a guy out there who will appreciate his time with me and all that we had in common. That's the spirit Queenie01. For the record I don't think you should change anything about your schedule that makes it harder on you for any reason. It's tough enough to make time to go to gym these days and I wouldn't go out my way to avoid him in figuring out what time you can make it to the gym. Go when you want to go and don't give it another thought!
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