I got rejected on the second date for being "too formal."

[lanamarie]

I met this guy through an dating app. For our first date, we met after work for adinner. I'm an attorney, so I was in business casual attire. He's a "quality assurance specialist," (still not sure what that is, but he can wear jeans to work). I was a little unsure about him. He was respectful and down to earth, but he talked quite a bit about past dates/relationships and other people he met through the app. He also mentioned that he was "very experienced," but sometimes met girls on the app that were "way off the deep end." Whatever. I'm really easy going, so I figured I'd give it a shot and enjoy myself even though the comments were a little weird. Overall, I did have fun.

 

Immediately after the first date, he texted to set up a second date. He said he thought I was very attractive, down to earth, and that we had good chemistry. He mentioned something about "I know you were dressed formally bc you were coming from work, but I'm curious to see how you dress on your days off." I didn't think much of it.

 

He wanted to go to a TV show taping in town. Tapings can last 3-4 hours with no opportunity to actually talk to the person, which isn't ideal for a 2nd date. He mentioned that for this show, the ticket stated that all guests had to come in dressy attire, or they would be refused entry. I honestly thought I was dressed reasonably - I wore a black silk blouse and dress pants with heels. Nothing crazy. As expected, it was impossible to talk. After the show, he suggested that we get some food. I agreed.

 

At dinner, there was a very long line. I did my best to start and maintain conversation, but he was awkward. He stared at his menu endlessly as we waited to order. During dinner we had normal, fun conversation. Immediately after the date he texted me to say he had a great time and would call me the next day. I said great.

 

The next day, he called to "talk about things." He said that he wasn't sure how he felt, and that someting was "off" but he didn't know what. He then went into this weird, rambling thing about how I'm "too formal," and that he's really "touchy feely" and that he wasn't sure how I felt. He also said "I usually can't tell if I have a connection with someone until after I have sex, but this isn't about that, I just don't know. My friend says you're an attorney so maybe you just have a good poker face." I explained to him that I'm looking for something serious, so yea - I'm usually cautious on the first couple dates. As far as being "touchy feely," I feel like we had hardly even spent time together. Not sure what he expected. He didn't go in for a kiss, but it wasn't like I stopped him.

 

He continued on this weird tangent about how he had a recent situations where he was dating two women at once, and both found out. And apparently he was sad bc he really liked one of them and she stopped seeing him. The other was offended and also stopped seeing him. Which he hated because he then "got stuck with nobody." It made no sense to me. How does that even relate to anything? He then talked about not wanting to lead people on, and asked me how I felt about him. I told him truthfully that I had still been feeling him out, and hadn't made a judgment. Then he said something about him looking for a serious relationship (except he simultaneously dates two people for a long enough time that someone gets offended??), and not wanting to waste my time. I told him that was fine and we ended the conversation. Oh, but not before he said "if you ever need advice or anything give me a call."

 

I know it's only 2 dates and it doesn't matter but the bat****ness is killing me. What the hell gives?? My very blunt friend says she thinks this guy was 1) clueless on what he's looking 2) looking for a **** buddy and realized I wouldn't be game.

 

Any thoughts? By the way, I KNOW the answer is to move on. I'm just trying to understand what happened if possible for the future.

[goldway90]

If he's complaining about how your dress by the first date to me it screams red flag for a controlling man. I think you dodged a bullet with this guy! like seriously he's is just weird smh

[d0nnivain]

How do attorneys & porcupines mate? Very carefully.

 

 

As an attorney you deal with a lot of people & are trained to evaluate what they say & do. You also work in one of the last professions where most people are expected to wear suits to work. Even business casual in a law firm looks like dress-up day in every other industry these days.

 

 

Your education, your vocabulary choices, your ability to frankly state your expectation & finally your dress are intimidating. It's not like you were doing it to be snobby. It just is. They drilled it into you in school.

 

 

Find a guy who likes you because of your formality.

[SevenCity]

I met this guy through an dating app. For our first date, we met after work for adinner. I'm an attorney, so I was in business casual attire. He's a "quality assurance specialist," (still not sure what that is, but he can wear jeans to work)

 

Depending on what field, QA guys check to make sure that a product / service meet the specifications. Could be software or production. Can be professional or technical.

 

. I was a little unsure about him. He was respectful and down to earth, but he talked quite a bit about past dates/relationships and other people he met through the app.

 

Great way to start off a first date - talking about other people. Red flag #1

 

He also mentioned that he was "very experienced,"

 

He's insecure. No real man needs to talk about their experience with women - on a first date or ever. Red flag #2

 

but sometimes met girls on the app that were "way off the deep end." Whatever.

 

Although sometimes a funny "crazy" story can be good, your date should not be talking about other dates. Also, this lends to his insecurity by placing himself above others on the site. Red flag #3

 

I'm really easy going, so I figured I'd give it a shot and enjoy myself even though the comments were a little weird. Overall, I did have fun.

 

Good to give it a chance. Green flag for you.

 

Immediately after the first date, he texted to set up a second date.

 

Showing how he is desperate and is afraid you won't pick up his phone call / text after given time to think. Red flag #4.

 

He said he thought I was very attractive, down to earth, and that we had good chemistry. He mentioned something about "I know you were dressed formally bc you were coming from work, but I'm curious to see how you dress on your days off." I didn't think much of it.

 

Here is his insecurity again. You likely make more money than him and he feels you are too good for him. Red flag #5

 

He wanted to go to a TV show taping in town. Tapings can last 3-4 hours with no opportunity to actually talk to the person, which isn't ideal for a 2nd date. He mentioned that for this show, the ticket stated that all guests had to come in dressy attire, or they would be refused entry. I honestly thought I was dressed reasonably - I wore a black silk blouse and dress pants with heels. Nothing crazy. As expected, it was impossible to talk. After the show, he suggested that we get some food. I agreed.

 

At dinner, there was a very long line. I did my best to start and maintain conversation, but he was awkward. He stared at his menu endlessly as we waited to order. During dinner we had normal, fun conversation. Immediately after the date he texted me to say he had a great time and would call me the next day. I said great.

 

He was forcing the interaction. There he was with you in person and couldn't keep the convo going. I'm sure he could have referenced the show or just learned more about you. Doesn't sound like he has a lot of "experience". Red flag #6.

 

The next day, he called to "talk about things." He said that he wasn't sure how he felt, and that someting was "off" but he didn't know what.

 

You don't need to have "The Talk" with someone with whom you were out two times. Strange. Red flag #7.

 

 

He then went into this weird, rambling thing about how I'm "too formal,"

 

He's insecure and now stating it on the phone. Red flag #8.

 

 

and that he's really "touchy feely" and that he wasn't sure how I felt.

 

He doesn't know how physical attraction works. Red flag #9.

 

He also said "I usually can't tell if I have a connection with someone until after I have sex, but this isn't about that, I just don't know.

 

"This is about sex". He wants a FB. Red flag #10.

 

My friend says you're an attorney so maybe you just have a good poker

face." I explained to him that I'm looking for something serious, so yea - I'm usually cautious on the first couple dates. As far as being "touchy feely," I feel like we had hardly even spent time together. Not sure what he expected. He didn't go in for a kiss, but it wasn't like I stopped him.

 

Again, this is his insecurity.

 

He continued on this weird tangent about how he had a recent situations where he was dating two women at once, and both found out. And apparently he was sad bc he really liked one of them and she stopped seeing him. The other was offended and also stopped seeing him. Which he hated because he then "got stuck with nobody." It made no sense to me.

 

He's said he will lie to you about who else he is dating. The "stuck with nobody" means he can't stand to be alone. Red flag #11.

 

How does that even relate to anything? He then talked about not wanting to lead people on, and asked me how I felt about him. I told him truthfully that I had still been feeling him out, and hadn't made a judgment. Then he said something about him looking for a serious relationship (except he simultaneously dates two people for a long enough time that someone gets offended??), and not wanting to waste my time. I told him that was fine and we ended the conversation.

 

It relates in that it tells you everything you need to know about him. Don't believe people's words, believe their actions. This guy was just stupid to tell you about any of this but that's good for you.

 

Oh, but not before he said "if you ever need advice or anything give me a call."

 

Next time you need a legal document checked for spelling errors, give him a call

 

 

I know it's only 2 dates and it doesn't matter but the bat****ness is killing me. What the hell gives?? My very blunt friend says she thinks this guy was 1) clueless on what he's looking 2) looking for a **** buddy and realized I wouldn't be game.

 

I think he is looking for a FB, but has no idea how to go about it.

 

 

Any thoughts? By the way, I KNOW the answer is to move on. I'm just trying to understand what happened if possible for the future.

 

Thoughts above. He has no clue how to interact with women if his goal is to get them into bed. Guys who say they have all this "experience" usually do not. There is nothing positive that will come out of telling that to a woman and they can usually figure it out on their own.

 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people on OLD who are just bad RL material. You have found one and will likely find many others. I would delete and block him.

[Whodatdog]

It just wasnt a good match, for many of the reasons mentioned. It happens. No need to over analyze it.

 

Next....

[Miss Spider]

I met this guy through an dating app. For our first date, we met after work for adinner. I'm an attorney, so I was in business casual attire. He's a "quality assurance specialist," (still not sure what that is, but he can wear jeans to work). I was a little unsure about him. He was respectful and down to earth, but he talked quite a bit about past dates/relationships and other people he met through the app. He also mentioned that he was "very experienced," but sometimes met girls on the app that were "way off the deep end." Whatever. I'm really easy going, so I figured I'd give it a shot and enjoy myself even though the comments were a little weird. Overall, I did have fun.

 

Immediately after the first date, he texted to set up a second date. He said he thought I was very attractive, down to earth, and that we had good chemistry. He mentioned something about "I know you were dressed formally bc you were coming from work, but I'm curious to see how you dress on your days off." I didn't think much of it.

 

He wanted to go to a TV show taping in town. Tapings can last 3-4 hours with no opportunity to actually talk to the person, which isn't ideal for a 2nd date. He mentioned that for this show, the ticket stated that all guests had to come in dressy attire, or they would be refused entry. I honestly thought I was dressed reasonably - I wore a black silk blouse and dress pants with heels. Nothing crazy. As expected, it was impossible to talk. After the show, he suggested that we get some food. I agreed.

 

At dinner, there was a very long line. I did my best to start and maintain conversation, but he was awkward. He stared at his menu endlessly as we waited to order. During dinner we had normal, fun conversation. Immediately after the date he texted me to say he had a great time and would call me the next day. I said great.

 

The next day, he called to "talk about things." He said that he wasn't sure how he felt, and that someting was "off" but he didn't know what. He then went into this weird, rambling thing about how I'm "too formal," and that he's really "touchy feely" and that he wasn't sure how I felt. He also said "I usually can't tell if I have a connection with someone until after I have sex, but this isn't about that, I just don't know. My friend says you're an attorney so maybe you just have a good poker face." I explained to him that I'm looking for something serious, so yea - I'm usually cautious on the first couple dates. As far as being "touchy feely," I feel like we had hardly even spent time together. Not sure what he expected. He didn't go in for a kiss, but it wasn't like I stopped him.

 

He continued on this weird tangent about how he had a recent situations where he was dating two women at once, and both found out. And apparently he was sad bc he really liked one of them and she stopped seeing him. The other was offended and also stopped seeing him. Which he hated because he then "got stuck with nobody." It made no sense to me. How does that even relate to anything? He then talked about not wanting to lead people on, and asked me how I felt about him. I told him truthfully that I had still been feeling him out, and hadn't made a judgment. Then he said something about him looking for a serious relationship (except he simultaneously dates two people for a long enough time that someone gets offended??), and not wanting to waste my time. I told him that was fine and we ended the conversation. Oh, but not before he said "if you ever need advice or anything give me a call."

 

I know it's only 2 dates and it doesn't matter but the bat****ness is killing me. What the hell gives?? My very blunt friend says she thinks this guy was 1) clueless on what he's looking 2) looking for a **** buddy and realized I wouldn't be game.

 

Any thoughts? By the way, I KNOW the answer is to move on. I'm just trying to understand what happened if possible for the future.

 

What happened? You met a weirdo on a dating app and thankfully dodged a bullet. Are you new to online dating

[bluefeather]

I agree with what your blunt friend said, but not that he was clueless on what he was looking for - he was clueless on how to date.

Reason 2 - yup. Was trying to sneak in sex. And failed.

 

Quality Assurance can be used in a lot of work places, but it is often used in call centers.

[CaliforniaGirl]

I don't think it was actually about the clothes. "Too formal" could be about how you act/seem, not how you're dressed. And in fact, he talked about touchy-feely, sex, and so on. So I would say the formal comment was probably about how he felt you are, not how you dress.

 

He could have been wrong about that so I'm not judging or saying you did anything wrong; just that you're not a match.

 

He may have gotten an "ice queen" vibe (for whatever reason) - he even brought up sex, in the guise of saying "it's not about that" but if he hadn't been thinking it, that wouldn't have come out - and felt you might not be very passionate in that way (again, he could have been wrong, but it was a general "feel") so he decided not to move forward.

 

I don't think he was a jerk or anything (from the way you've described things) and I think even he couldn't quite put his finger on it, as he seemed, from what you said, to be searching for reasons...so if they seemed like dumb reasons, that's probably why: he just wasn't/isn't sure himself what the disconnect is. But there IS a disconnect. You two just aren't a match.

[lanamarie]

What happened? You met a weirdo on a dating app and thankfully dodged a bullet. Are you new to online dating

 

Yes, this was my first time ever trying any kind of OLD. I've always just met guys I've dated in person. Most of the time I've had an opportunity to get acquainted with them through friends/social gatherings before even going on a date. This was a first for me.

 

Also. I'm a notorious over thinker/over analyzer. It's a gift and curse.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Yes, this was my first time ever trying any kind of OLD. I've always just met guys I've dated in person. Most of the time I've had an opportunity to get acquainted with them through friends/social gatherings before even going on a date. This was a first for me.

 

Also. I'm a notorious over thinker/over analyzer. It's a gift and curse.

 

A lot of people are jumping on this guy. I don't know that he's necessarily so terrible. It sounds *to me* (I could be wrong) that you make him extremely nervous and that he was fumbling for words and saying all the wrong things because of it. That's just how it "reads" to me, looking over what you posted.

 

Again, if he sees you as formal, uptight (I hate to use that word) or...whatever, that could have triggered that type of response in him.

 

I just am not seeing that this guy was such a terrible monster...I really do just think it was a mismatch and that he couldn't get comfortable at all around you.

[smackie9]

The guy is a total retard.....yikes! He has no filter, or manners.

[smackie9]

Yes, this was my first time ever trying any kind of OLD. I've always just met guys I've dated in person. Most of the time I've had an opportunity to get acquainted with them through friends/social gatherings before even going on a date. This was a first for me.

 

Also. I'm a notorious over thinker/over analyzer. It's a gift and curse.

Welcome to OLD.....lots of players and wackos....

[GunslingerRoland]

I find it hilarious that he is willing to offer you dating advice.

 

He sounds like a kid in a candy store with online dating. I'm guessing he's really attractive? and has too many options and doesn't know what he wants?

[GorillaTheater]

Attorneys are almost unwaveringly stiff and formal. And never, ever ironic.

[lanamarie]

I find it hilarious that he is willing to offer you dating advice.

 

He sounds like a kid in a candy store with online dating. I'm guessing he's really attractive? and has too many options and doesn't know what he wants?

 

I did get the sense he was a kid in a candy store with online dating and just dating a new person every day. Who knows. Honestly in terms looks, he is good looking but nothing out of this world.

[lanamarie]

Attorneys are almost unwaveringly stiff and formal. And never, ever ironic.

 

Haha. I know I that's the stereotype. But I am honestly a really down to earth, casual, approachable person outside of the office. Not all of us are dead inside (that only happens after about 20 years of practice). .

[Miss Spider]

Yeah don't be surprised if you run into another one of these(or just a different brand of weird)and delete your profile out of burnout and frustration a few times before it's all over. At least he revealed his douchebaggery relatively early to you. Those other two women didn't seem so lucky.

 

If you tend to overanalyze OLD will give you plenty of fodder, that's for sure.

[Simple Logic]

I met this guy through an dating app. For our first date, we met after work for adinner. I'm an attorney, so I was in business casual attire. He's a "quality assurance specialist," (still not sure what that is, but he can wear jeans to work). I was a little unsure about him. He was respectful and down to earth, but he talked quite a bit about past dates/relationships and other people he met through the app. He also mentioned that he was "very experienced," but sometimes met girls on the app that were "way off the deep end." Whatever. I'm really easy going, so I figured I'd give it a shot and enjoy myself even though the comments were a little weird. Overall, I did have fun.

 

Immediately after the first date, he texted to set up a second date. He said he thought I was very attractive, down to earth, and that we had good chemistry. He mentioned something about "I know you were dressed formally bc you were coming from work, but I'm curious to see how you dress on your days off." I didn't think much of it.

 

He wanted to go to a TV show taping in town. Tapings can last 3-4 hours with no opportunity to actually talk to the person, which isn't ideal for a 2nd date. He mentioned that for this show, the ticket stated that all guests had to come in dressy attire, or they would be refused entry. I honestly thought I was dressed reasonably - I wore a black silk blouse and dress pants with heels. Nothing crazy. As expected, it was impossible to talk. After the show, he suggested that we get some food. I agreed.

 

At dinner, there was a very long line. I did my best to start and maintain conversation, but he was awkward. He stared at his menu endlessly as we waited to order. During dinner we had normal, fun conversation. Immediately after the date he texted me to say he had a great time and would call me the next day. I said great.

 

The next day, he called to "talk about things." He said that he wasn't sure how he felt, and that someting was "off" but he didn't know what. He then went into this weird, rambling thing about how I'm "too formal," and that he's really "touchy feely" and that he wasn't sure how I felt. He also said "I usually can't tell if I have a connection with someone until after I have sex, but this isn't about that, I just don't know. My friend says you're an attorney so maybe you just have a good poker face." I explained to him that I'm looking for something serious, so yea - I'm usually cautious on the first couple dates. As far as being "touchy feely," I feel like we had hardly even spent time together. Not sure what he expected. He didn't go in for a kiss, but it wasn't like I stopped him.

 

He continued on this weird tangent about how he had a recent situations where he was dating two women at once, and both found out. And apparently he was sad bc he really liked one of them and she stopped seeing him. The other was offended and also stopped seeing him. Which he hated because he then "got stuck with nobody." It made no sense to me. How does that even relate to anything? He then talked about not wanting to lead people on, and asked me how I felt about him. I told him truthfully that I had still been feeling him out, and hadn't made a judgment. Then he said something about him looking for a serious relationship (except he simultaneously dates two people for a long enough time that someone gets offended??), and not wanting to waste my time. I told him that was fine and we ended the conversation. Oh, but not before he said "if you ever need advice or anything give me a call."

 

I know it's only 2 dates and it doesn't matter but the bat****ness is killing me. What the hell gives?? My very blunt friend says she thinks this guy was 1) clueless on what he's looking 2) looking for a **** buddy and realized I wouldn't be game.

 

Any thoughts? By the way, I KNOW the answer is to move on. I'm just trying to understand what happened if possible for the future.

 

First, I have never met you, so my opinion is based on my experiance dating people from various professions..

 

When people are in certain professions, their career becomes part of their personality. If you work in criminal law much, you may notice this with the cops you have interacted with. If they are in uniform, it is even worse.

 

It is probably not that you are too formal, but you may have a professional attorney demeanor that may be exagerated when you are in your attorney uniform and when you are guarded dating a person that is basically a stranger.

 

As with anybody, there are dates that will love your professional demeanor, and some it will turn off. You are the only one that can determine if it exists or is a negative or a positive for the person you are dating.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I've dated a couple of lawyers and neither were stiff or possessed an air about them that lead be to believe that they were unapproachable. In fact, both were very approachable and affectionate. So, though the tendency could be that certain professionals behave in a particular pattern, it depends on the person.

 

When I read your profile, this weak argument regarding your attire screamed insecurity. What he was likely feeling was that you were out of his league and he realized it. His loss really. Your friend was also right in that he was not feeling that any physical progress would be made with you...aka...sex.

 

Not to minimize his role, but 'quality assurance specialist' is often a fancy word for the person who makes certain that certain parts of a component or product looks, feels, functions okay at the end of a conveyor belt. Important, of course, but his attitude indicates an air of dismissiveness and pomposity. His very suggestion to contact you for advice seals my observation on that point.

 

I don't see anything you did wrong.

[SevenCity]

Yeah don't be surprised if you run into another one of these(or just a different brand of weird)and delete your profile out of burnout and frustration a few times before it's all over. At least he revealed his douchebaggery relatively early to you. Those other two women didn't seem so lucky.

 

If you tend to overanalyze OLD will give you plenty of fodder, that's for sure.

 

 

Amen to that.

[SmartDude]

I met this guy through an dating app. For our first date, we met after work for adinner. I'm an attorney, so I was in business casual attire. He's a "quality assurance specialist," (still not sure what that is, but he can wear jeans to work). I was a little unsure about him. He was respectful and down to earth, but he talked quite a bit about past dates/relationships and other people he met through the app. He also mentioned that he was "very experienced," but sometimes met girls on the app that were "way off the deep end." Whatever. I'm really easy going, so I figured I'd give it a shot and enjoy myself even though the comments were a little weird. Overall, I did have fun.

 

Immediately after the first date, he texted to set up a second date. He said he thought I was very attractive, down to earth, and that we had good chemistry. He mentioned something about "I know you were dressed formally bc you were coming from work, but I'm curious to see how you dress on your days off." I didn't think much of it.

 

He wanted to go to a TV show taping in town. Tapings can last 3-4 hours with no opportunity to actually talk to the person, which isn't ideal for a 2nd date. He mentioned that for this show, the ticket stated that all guests had to come in dressy attire, or they would be refused entry. I honestly thought I was dressed reasonably - I wore a black silk blouse and dress pants with heels. Nothing crazy. As expected, it was impossible to talk. After the show, he suggested that we get some food. I agreed.

 

At dinner, there was a very long line. I did my best to start and maintain conversation, but he was awkward. He stared at his menu endlessly as we waited to order. During dinner we had normal, fun conversation. Immediately after the date he texted me to say he had a great time and would call me the next day. I said great.

 

The next day, he called to "talk about things." He said that he wasn't sure how he felt, and that someting was "off" but he didn't know what. He then went into this weird, rambling thing about how I'm "too formal," and that he's really "touchy feely" and that he wasn't sure how I felt. He also said "I usually can't tell if I have a connection with someone until after I have sex, but this isn't about that, I just don't know. My friend says you're an attorney so maybe you just have a good poker face." I explained to him that I'm looking for something serious, so yea - I'm usually cautious on the first couple dates. As far as being "touchy feely," I feel like we had hardly even spent time together. Not sure what he expected. He didn't go in for a kiss, but it wasn't like I stopped him.

 

He continued on this weird tangent about how he had a recent situations where he was dating two women at once, and both found out. And apparently he was sad bc he really liked one of them and she stopped seeing him. The other was offended and also stopped seeing him. Which he hated because he then "got stuck with nobody." It made no sense to me. How does that even relate to anything? He then talked about not wanting to lead people on, and asked me how I felt about him. I told him truthfully that I had still been feeling him out, and hadn't made a judgment. Then he said something about him looking for a serious relationship (except he simultaneously dates two people for a long enough time that someone gets offended??), and not wanting to waste my time. I told him that was fine and we ended the conversation. Oh, but not before he said "if you ever need advice or anything give me a call."

 

I know it's only 2 dates and it doesn't matter but the bat****ness is killing me. What the hell gives?? My very blunt friend says she thinks this guy was 1) clueless on what he's looking 2) looking for a **** buddy and realized I wouldn't be game.

 

Any thoughts? By the way, I KNOW the answer is to move on. I'm just trying to understand what happened if possible for the future.

 

I have been in a state of mind similar to this guy before. He might be going through an adjustment stage that precludes looking for a serious relationship, or he might be happy staying single for quite a while. It can sometimes be very hard to tell, especially if this guy has conflicted emotions on what he actually wants.

 

There are many people who date without the end goal of being in a relationship. Im personally in that state of mind right now myself. I want to have good times with women, romance them, have sex with them, be their friend and truly connect with them. It is not just about having sex, but the sex will be important. I know that I don't want a committed exclusive relationship in the context of monogamy. Someday I might, but right now I don't. I try to state this as tactfully and as soon as I can. This is to make it clear to the woman im with that I am not looking for a long term partner, so I will not waste her time.

 

I think this guy was trying to perhaps tell you that he is just looking for friends. he was testing the water to see if you are on a similar wavelength, but he was clumsy in the way that he did this. He also may have been genuinely confused on what he wants and so you are seeing the external signs of that internal back and forth struggle. He probably got his ass handed to him by some crazy chicks and he may be swinging back the other direction towards a finding a woman he can have as a girlfriend.

 

From the brief description you give, he does not sound like your type anyways. So even if he did make a shift in want he wants in life, it might not matter to you.

[lanamarie]

Amen to that.

 

I've heard nothing but bad things about online dating, but I was open to giving it a shot. I'll probably give it another shot but I'm hesitant!

 

I haven't dealt with such next level weirdness

[SevenCity]

I've heard nothing but bad things about online dating, but I was open to giving it a shot. I'll probably give it another shot but I'm hesitant!

 

I haven't dealt with such next level weirdness

 

That's nothing. I can tell stories....

 

But if you can imagine, OLD is much better for women than guys. I deal mostly with girls who stop communicating once setting up a date. And it would seem from posters here that many guys are in the same boat as me.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I've heard nothing but bad things about online dating, but I was open to giving it a shot. I'll probably give it another shot but I'm hesitant!

 

I haven't dealt with such next level weirdness

 

I haven't found the 'perfect' person yet using OLD, but I also haven't experienced any of the craziness that some have. Everyone's experience is different. You'll find unsavory people off OLD too.

[act00]

For gawd's sake, you're his "therapist" at this point.

 

I just don't get it. It's one thing to discuss prior dates, some crazy stories, and another thing entirely to go into so much detail whenever there's a listening ear, as if it's your responsibility to hash out his relationship woes.

 

I'm like you, despite the diatribe about other women on the first date, I'd play it out and see where it goes, but but it just got better and better didn't it, with the grand finale of how a girl he really liked dumped him when she found out about the other one.

 

I'm guessing he told her about the other one, and probably in a manner that he told you about the other women, and she ran for the hills, just as you are.

 

Head scratching, I just don't get it.

 

I met someone through OLD a couple weeks ago. He asked to call, and when he did, I asked, "How was your day?" This is when he UNLOADED on his ex and her family and this went on and on, as I tried to redirect him, and like you, I was thinking, "let's just see how this goes." I ended the call, but through a text, he wanted to "ask me something," and this call led to further unloading, and I came back with "coping tools" and sympathy, but WTF? I went for round three (stupidly), the next day, which led to further unloading, and not just about his ex and her family, but the guy is judgmental beyond all reason and angry. At the end of the day, even if this guy was just seeking friendship, that's a lot to unload on someone new, and definitely not good for a potential mate. Seek a support group or psychologist or counselor. Wow!

 

All that just to give you an example of - I'm lost on this one too.

 

He seems rather insecure and socially stunted.