Remystacks Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Was dating a fellow for a year a couple years ago. Together literally everyday from the moment we met.. pretty much moved in together bout 4 months into dating.. He was posted (military guy) to a different city and not even a week after he moved we stopped talking.. not entirely sure why. He just stopped messaging me.. totally got ghosted after living together and seeing each other pretty much everyday for a year.. I sunk into a serious clinical depression. I really didn't see the break up coming and it hit me extremely hard. Two years later and I'm STILL taking something twice a day to battle it... Now... Around Christmas, his best friend messaged me saying he wanted some kink knacks he had left at my place back.. I totally ignored the message Well its been a few months since then and he just added me on Facebook... I'm a little confused at to what the hell he's doing... How can you ghost someone you were so close with then add them on social media like it's peanuts... My question is... WHY DO PEOPLE GHOST?! WHY DO PEOPLE GHOST *THEN* DECIDE TO MAKE CONTACT AGAIN? 2
FoundLove Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 I personally think you should ignore him completely. If he treated you this way before, he can do it again. So, don't accept him on Facebook, just ignore him. That really is no way to treat someone and you deserve so much better. 2
Raena Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 They ghost because they are cowards. It's not easy to tell a person to their face that you are no longer interested in a relationship with them. Not saying anything definitive leaves the door open for them to come back later on and attempt to start it up again too. For your guy though, I'm going to guess that he thought a long distance relationship wouldn't be feasible. It's not unheard of for military men to jump into relationships too quickly and then jump out of them just as fast. I lived in an area that had several military bases close by and witnessed this exact scenario play out over and over again. Be strong and don't let him back in again. He's already shown you what kind of man he is. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Inconsiderate and selfish people ghost the way he did. I would not accept his friend request. He was a complete jerk to you but he probably still wants to see if your door is open for him. Leave it closed. 1
marky00 Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Happened to me. After a 9 year relationship, my Ex ghosted me middle of last year. I never hang around to find out why but I assumed it was due to a 3rd party. She ignored 2 or 3 of my tests, I took the hint and bailed. Then around 6 months later, like nothing at all had happened she started messaging me asking me how I was going and how life was treating me. A message would come once per month and I decided to ignore the messages. It really does spin me out. We loved each other for a good 7 years before a few personal issues I was facing affected our relationship. It's amazing how we can have that history, she be fine with ghosting and then to top it off, be fine with messaging thereafter as if everything is fine. One thing I will say about ghosting but. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't care it all. It can in some ways actually mean quite the opposite. However, its the breadcrumbs that flow afterwards that are very WRONG. The most selfish thing a dumper can do is break a heart, ghost and then still want to remain the Good guy. A dumpee has way enough to deal with (i.e. the heartache). Surely the dumper can at least own the guilt rather than attempt to put that on the dumpee as well. 1
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