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I'm having a lot of trouble

kevinjinha

By kevinjinha
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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kevinjinha Member

kevinjinha

Posted
Posted (edited)

It's been two and a half months since our break up, and I've tried going out with friends, finding new hobbies, and doing a lot more things. However, my ex girlfriend runs through my head every single day. I go for 3-4 hour drives just thinking because I can't stay in the house.It got to the point where my friends only responses are "get over it man" "it's over". But if it was that simple, I wouldn't be here right now. I don't have anybody to talk to anymore, and for some reason talking to people doesn't make me feel better again. It only reminds me of the pain I'm in. This pain isn't subsiding. I don't know if I'm healing or getting worse. I was so confident a few weeks ago, but for some reason the pain returned but 2x worse. I look at myself in the mirror and think to myself that I could never score a girl as beautiful as my ex. All the guys wanted her. She is already seeing someone.

 

I can't get her out of my head. No matter what I do, the pain is so so painful. I bought a bunch of new clothes, and I work out and I even got hit on by a few girls. But for some reason, none of that makes me happy. I'm in such pain, and unfortunately, I feel suicidal. I feel like the only answer to my pain is to kill myself. People will tell me "This is only an obstacle" but once I date again, wouldn't this cycle just repeat? I'll end up getting hurt over and over again. I started smoking cigarettes viciously and I can't seem to get over this pain. I have mood swings from happy to utterly depressed. I feel like I'm ready to die. I can't handle this pain anymore. It's not only my ex that makes me feel this way. School, work, people around me, losing friends, I'm just so overwhelmed.

Edited by kevinjinha
Altair0770 Established Member

Altair0770

Posted
Posted

First step go to therapy immediately. Having been in your shoes, therapy is a great solution. When I got dumped I put a noose around my neck and decided it wasn't worth ending my life over.

 

5 months later, I'm glad I stepped away. It *DOES* get easier. Painfully slow, yes, but it does get easier. It will have its up and downs. I felt great a few hours ago, then I felt sad so I came here.

 

You posting this is a call for help. Tell your close friends you've been feeling suicidal. Tell your family. Tell someone besides people on the internet. If I didn't have a close support network I wouldn't be here right now.

 

The most important thing is you should not be checking in on your ex. If you have her on social media, or any texts or pictures or ANYTHING of her then you need to remove it from your life immediately. You will not properly heal i you are checking up on her. If you're feeling this way now you're not going to feel any better if you keep checking on her or reliving the past. Part of moving on is letting go of things that haunt you.

 

But please try to see a therapist. I have a student therapist that is trying to learn to be an actual therapist and it's helped a tremendous amount. It costs me a lot of money since I miss work for it, but I'm excited and happy everytime I go.

divegrl Established Member

divegrl

Posted
Posted

I'm so sorry for what you are going thru. It must be extremely painful and hopeless. I can't imagine with all you have been going thru....

 

There is a list of suicide hotlines in the coping section. Please call one.

 

You are valuable and worthy. And this world needs you. Please call a hotline, seek therapy or try mindfulness meditation.

 

Peace my friend.

  • 3 weeks later...
Maldives Established Member

Maldives

Posted
Posted
It's been two and a half months since our break up, and I've tried going out with friends, finding new hobbies, and doing a lot more things. However, my ex girlfriend runs through my head every single day. I go for 3-4 hour drives just thinking because I can't stay in the house.It got to the point where my friends only responses are "get over it man" "it's over". But if it was that simple, I wouldn't be here right now. I don't have anybody to talk to anymore, and for some reason talking to people doesn't make me feel better again. It only reminds me of the pain I'm in. This pain isn't subsiding. I don't know if I'm healing or getting worse. I was so confident a few weeks ago, but for some reason the pain returned but 2x worse. I look at myself in the mirror and think to myself that I could never score a girl as beautiful as my ex. All the guys wanted her. She is already seeing someone.

 

I can't get her out of my head. No matter what I do, the pain is so so painful. I bought a bunch of new clothes, and I work out and I even got hit on by a few girls. But for some reason, none of that makes me happy. I'm in such pain, and unfortunately, I feel suicidal. I feel like the only answer to my pain is to kill myself. People will tell me "This is only an obstacle" but once I date again, wouldn't this cycle just repeat? I'll end up getting hurt over and over again. I started smoking cigarettes viciously and I can't seem to get over this pain. I have mood swings from happy to utterly depressed. I feel like I'm ready to die. I can't handle this pain anymore. It's not only my ex that makes me feel this way. School, work, people around me, losing friends, I'm just so overwhelmed.

 

 

I feel ur pain I donno if this I'll make u feel any better my recent ex who dumped me works wtyb me and stared seeing a work colleague can it get in a worse in my case it has man lol 5 broken hearts but I'm still here and ive had those thoughts my mate said I t well no woman is ever worth dying over its true they aren't. Get help dude seek a psychologist immediatly and family and friends no relationships for a long time till ur healed. Please keep us posted and check in here so we know ur ok. I'll do a small prayer for u for things to get a little easier for u. Mines been abou tg 6 mths now it was getting better till I found out about tg he work colleague wich then set me back imagine I have to see these people everyday. Bu tg im hanging in the re e and trying to ignore them as much as I can. U will heal I've healed in all of mine hang in there

lovelymay Established Member

lovelymay

Posted
Posted

Aww Kevin, I am so sorry to hear that!

I'm also going through a break up right now and I'm try to get over it by writing.

 

I've got ups and downs but what really helps a lot is to make a list and think:

What would you do if you had no fears, if anything was possible? What would you do?

 

Think about it. The answer must include something that you want to do personally, for yourself without anyone else involved. Not your friends, not your ex, not your colleagues or your pets. It must be something that fulfills YOU

Because what I have learned about break ups is that the pain is there, not because I only miss someone. But because something in my life is missing and it must not be fulfilled by that one person I love.

 

In the end, we are all born alone and we'll die alone.

Try making that list :) It helps me :)

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